


Slow, Slow, Slow

by JeezLouiseWoman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky has a nightmare once and a couple mild flashbacks but nothing too bad, F/F, F/M, Fluff, I'll tag that when I've completed the series, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sam's gonna end up paired with someone but I'm not spoiling it by tagging it, Secret Relationship, Sexual Humor, Soft Bucky, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i mean everyone cusses as usual, i'll add more warnings as they come up, like they're basically all here at some point even if I don't show their direct interactions, mentions of a lot of other Avengers, some chapters are fluffier than others, the Thor and Bruce stuff doesn't really happen until later but I don't consider that a spoiler, the word "fuck" is thrown around a lot so, very mild implied sexy times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 66,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21881329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeezLouiseWoman/pseuds/JeezLouiseWoman
Summary: She figured she’d be okay being single the rest of her life, working at an awesome job and hanging out with the friends and family she loved. Which is why it came as such a gut-punching surprise when she realized she was developing real, actual romantic feelings for Bucky Barnes.--An Infinity-War AU/Fix-It where everyone except Thanos and his army are alive.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, Gamora/Peter Quill, James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Nakia (Black Panther)/T'Challa, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, it's an Infinity War AU (because, like, I know the real world isn't all butterflies and stuff but honestly these characters deserve better) where Thor manages to kill Thanos before he kills Vision. I'm way too lazy to write all this out in-story and stuff, but basically he hasn't gotten the Soul Stone yet, so Gamora and Vision are alive. Also, I've edited the timeline maybe a little bit because I'm pretty sure IW takes place in early 2018, but for this story's sake, it's late 2017.
> 
> Another note, this is really self indulgent (as will be very apparent in later chapters), and I'm not sorry.
> 
> Final note, because I like to talk a lot, it's rated T for language and a few crude jokes and references. No real violence or heavy content. It's supposed to be a fun read, and I hope it is.

**Late January, 2018**

She knew they were coming home. She  _ knew _ that. She knew what time they were supposed to arrive, too. But Paige had gotten so caught up in reading over the new amendments to the Accords—so much fucking legal jargon, ugh—that she failed to even notice the quinjet land outside her window. Time continued to fly by as she quickly jotted notes and questions she’d ask tomorrow before the press conference.

She’d moved onto the segment about alien threats when she heard the knock at her door.

“Hang on, I’m coming,” she called out, relieved to have an excuse to stop reading. Her eyes were starting to hurt.

“Steve!”

Before she knew what she was doing, she flung herself into his arms. He was barely able to react in time, but his surprise quickly turned into laughter.

“Hey, Paige. Long time, no see,” he greeted warmly. 

Jesus, was she happy to see him. She’d thought about the moment for weeks, ever since she’d been told by the Accords committee that the “fugitives” were going to be allowed back into the Avengers and that there were going to be tons of revisions on the Accords, including a change on the committee itself. They were slated to reveal (most) everything to the public tomorrow, which is why she was reading and re-reading all of the amendments and familiarizing herself with every change. She wouldn’t be talking herself, but she’d be there if anyone forgot anything.

But for now, all she could really concentrate on was that they were back. Steve was  _ here _ in her arms, real and bigger than she remembered. That could just be the happiness clouding her actual vision, though.

And bearded? That was unexpected. But it looked good. 

“I missed you so much,” she managed.

Steve’s grip tightened. “I missed you too.” He’d anonymously sent her a box of her favorite French chocolates once while he was on the run. It’d been addressed to her from Your Favorite Blonde, but Sam had also scribbled a poor drawing of a bird in the bottom corner. So despite the fact that they hadn’t had an actual conversation in a little over two years, Steve knew she hadn’t been mad at any of them. In fact, Vision had come back with a small snowglobe from Argentina, obviously from Wanda. And at that moment, she was wearing a blouse that Nat had sent—she knew Paige's fashion sense and size almost better than Paige herself, which was always surprising because she and Nat were  _ not _ the same size. . 

She had no idea where  _ they _ had been at any given time, but they were at least able to let her know that they were all right. Which worked just fine then. 

_ But now, they’re back.  _

She wasn’t sure how she wasn’t literally dying from happiness.

“Don’t waste all your energy hugging him. There’s more of us, you know.”

If Paige hadn’t already been crying a little, she surely would have started to the second she heard Sam’s voice. Steve had already loosened his grip when Sam started talking, and for good reason. Paige bounced from one set of arms to the next. 

“I didn’t know you were gonna get all weepy on me,” Sam laughed, though Paige could clearly hear that he was close to tears too.

She didn’t know she’d get this emotional, either, honestly. “Shut up, you’re ruining the moment.” Sam’s grip tightened, and Paige involuntarily squeaked. He immediately let her go, laughing. 

“We’re here, too,” Wanda called from Steve’s other side. Nat was right there next to her, looking like the picture of perfect composure as always. But… both of them were varying shades of blonde? That was also unexpected. Then again, it shouldn’t be. They had been on the run.

Jeez, Paige was surely blind if she was missing this many people. Then again… she was crying. That made it harder to see. And she didn’t care at all.

There were even more tears as the two women pulled her into a joint embrace, and not all of them were hers. When they finally parted, Paige laughed and wiped her face. “We’re gonna have to have lots of drinks and catch up. I mean, at least with what you can tell me about what happened. If you want to, no rush.”

There was another quick hug to silence her, followed by more wiping of eyes. It was a good thing Paige had foregone eye makeup that morning. Otherwise she would have been ready to die of embarrassment when Steve finally spoke up.

“Paige, I figured I’d better introduce you today instead of having it be weird tomorrow right before the press conference, but…”

She turned back to Steve curiously. And finally her eyes caught  _ someone else _ she’d missed. Dark, shoulder-length hair, steel blue eyes, and a bashful smile. Oof. This man was  _ beautiful _ . Not that everyone else at the facility didn’t warrant the same title, but still. 

Paige instantly recognized him. This was Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier. Who had eluded Steve and Sam and several government agencies all over the world for years. Who Steve loved dearly and became an actual fugitive from the law for. Whose past was an awful mess—and Paige’s heart went out to him because nobody should have to go through that. And who was standing there, looking both comfortable and confident and, if Paige was seeing right, bemused. A far cry from the reports and footage she’d seen. 

“Hi,” she greeted and stuck out her hand. “I’m Paige Halcomb. Director of Communications. And I promise that I’m, well, more composed than this normally.” If she didn’t joke about it, she’d be even more embarrassed and make more of a mess of herself. Not ideal. 

This earned a genuine chuckle from Bucky, who took her hand and prepared to introduce himself. 

However, Sam interrupted, “Don’t let her lie to you. ‘Composed’ ain’t an accurate description of her.”

Paige simply reached out with her free hand and smacked Sam in the arm. 

“Bucky Barnes, though I’m sure my reputation precedes me, unfortunately. It’s nice to meet you, Paige,” he replied. She noticed him cast a sly glance at Sam before flashing her a reserved smile. 

“Well, I like to get to actually know people before I judge them on their past, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She looked pointedly at the others. “I mean, look who your company is.”

A light-hearted chuckle filled the space, and Bucky gently took his hand back. Paige hadn’t even noticed she’d still been holding it. Whoops. 

“It’s good company,” Bucky agreed. 

A few more laughs, then Paige straightened up and asked, “Have y’all settled back in? I don’t wanna do any legal stuff if you need your rest or anything. We can handle that early tomorrow morning.”

“We’re good. Not a whole lot of luggage over the past two years,” Steve replied breezily. “What’ve you got for us?”

“You’re gonna want to kill me and Allie after this, and Bucky, I apologize in advance for… well, all of this.”

He smiled again and shrugged. “I think I’ve been through worse.”

She really didn’t know what to say to that, so she stuck with a good natured snort. Making light of his past seemed to… not be the right play right now. At least not until she got to know him better. 

Nat seemed okay with it, though. “You may rethink that after these next few days.”

He let out an actual laugh at that, then raised his eyebrows suspiciously at Paige as they settled on the couch in her office. “Are you gonna make me regret joining?”

A playful smirk tugged at her lips. “Hopefully not, Sergeant Barnes.”

* * *

The press conference was a total clusterfuck. 

At least how Paige saw it.

She and several of the original members of the team had spent the entire morning prepping the new and returning members for the potential shit storm that could happen during and after the presser. They might have had their own ears to the ground during their time away, but Paige and the other staff had likely seen much more from the general public than they had. It was already apparent how divided people were about the government letting “the fugitives” back onto the team. “One alien threat and all is forgiven?” was the basic gist of one side’s argument, while the other claimed that the world’s governments had been too harsh on the superheroes in the first place. It’d been driving Paige crazy, even though she fully understood both sides. There was never a clear right and wrong answer on issues like this. 

Which is why it came as no surprise that the enormous and absolutely packed conference room was a veritable madhouse. The outside reports later would say everything went well, even though the team had refused to answer certain questions. But you couldn’t expect them not to have some secrets, right? Besides, they’d have other chances to get more answers when the Accords Committee made their announcement next week. 

So this time, they focused on the individual superheroes. While each member of the whole team fielded at least some questions, most of the reporters directed their attention to Tony, Steve, and, unfortunately, Bucky. He’d been a major catalyst in the whole awful aftermath of the original signing of the Accords, after all. And he was a former brainwashed assassin for H.Y.D.R.A., so why was he suddenly an Avenger? Reporters were foaming at the mouth to get answers out of him.

Paige thought he did very well in keeping his composure and answering what he could—and wanted to—though it was obvious he was very uncomfortable with the whole thing. Thankfully, Steve was there to help him out. Tony even did his part to distract them so Bucky could have a breather. Eventually, the questions shifted to the events of New York, Glasgow, and the alien ships spotted over Wakanda. The team had seemed to clam up significantly for those questions, but the answers they did give seemed to satisfy the reporters enough. For now, anyway. 

Then, of course, they went back to asking about what each of the formerly disavowed members had been up to. Of course, nobody gave in-depth answers, so they grumbled about that until Tony decided he’d had enough and excused the team.

“That was… messy,” Paige observed once they were behind closed doors.

Tony heaved a sigh, “Yeah, it was. Not like we didn’t expect it, though.”

“I still didn’t think they’d harp on Bucky as much…” Steve mused, shoving his hands in his pockets.

That was hard to believe. “Really, Cap?”

Steve made a face. “Yeah, I know. I just thought with the whole Thanos incident being so recent that they’d keep pestering us about that instead.”

“Good thing they don’t know the whole story about that. This would have been even wilder,” Bucky added, tugging nervously at his left sleeve.

Paige sighed, “Look, even I don’t know all the details about that, and it’s probably for the best.” She took a few steps closer to Bucky and resisted putting a hand on his shoulder. She wasn’t sure how he’d react to that; he was still visibly uncomfortable, and they didn’t know each other very well yet. “Hey, are you all right? Need something to drink? Maybe a snack?”

He lifted his gaze from his shoes to her face. He looked almost instantly better at the suggestion of a reprieve. “I think some water. Or maybe a long run. Thank you.” He even sounded better, too, mouth lilting up at the corners as he nodded at her.

Paige offered a supportive smile and nod. “Come on, then.” She turned to the rest of the team and ushered them to the nearest kitchen. “I’ve got snacks and drinks for everyone lined up. Well, I mean, Alexis actually ordered it, but still.”

Sam was in good spirits, as always. He wrapped his arms around Paige’s shoulders. “You had me worried that you’d cooked all this. Guess it’s safe to eat if it’s catered.”

“Everyone knows my cooking is awesome. So if you keep this up, Wilson, you’ll get nothing. Not even the seafood spread we set up for dinner.”

That was positively horrifying. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would. I’ll force you into an impromptu one-on-one meeting with one of the stations that have been  _ begging _ us for interviews with you guys.”

“Come on, honey, you know seafood’s my favorite.” He was practically whining now. “I’m sorry, I’ll be nice from now on.”

“As long as you promise…”

Snickers arose from everyone else in the room. Paige thought she could see Bucky watching them curiously out of the corner of her eye. Made sense, since he’d barely seen Paige and Sam interact. He’d get used to it, though. Sam was surely going to start pestering him sooner or later.

“I promise!”

“Fine, but just remember that you need to be nice to everyone else, too.”

Sam exhaled, relieved, and planted a kiss on the top of Paige’s head. “Thank you—Hey, Nat, those sliders are mine!” He released Paige and almost ran to catch up to Natasha, who was casting a mischievous smile over her shoulder.

Paige laughed and watched them fondly as they crowded around the food, playfully shoving each other out of the way of their favorite dishes.  _ Fuck, I missed this.  _


	2. Chapter 2

**Mid-February**

“My eyes are going to start bleeding, ugh.”

Paige groaned and rubbed her eyelids, leaning back in her chair. She’d been pouring over tweets and blog posts about yesterday’s press conference about the Avengers’ elimination of another terrorist organization (there was a never ending supply of those, unfortunately) for almost the entirety of her work day. Nothing had warranted her asking F.R.I.D.A.Y. to alter or erase it. She both hated and loved this part of her job. Mostly she hated it on days like these, where there was so much to go over that she couldn’t get to any of her other tasks. Which had been a frequent occurrence as of late. 

Maybe she did need that assistant Tony had offered to get her...

She let out another loud groan, cracking her eyes open. “I think I’m just… gonna be done for today. I could try and go home, too. It’s already like 3:30.” She was just talking to herself, so she didn’t expect any response from F.R.I.D.A.Y. and got none. “Yeah, okay. I think I’ll just head home early today.”

She’d been starting to feel better already after making her decision. Maybe she’d go home and take a bubble bath and catch up on some of Jonathan Van Ness’ podcast. That new Italian hole-in-the-wall place had been calling her name lately, too. 

Apparently life had other plans for her, though. 

“OH MY GOD!”

There was a huge cockroach on her desk, inches away from her keyboard, which she was about to use to clock out. A fucking cockroach. The one creature in this world she hated the most. And the only bug she was actually afraid of.

She made a series of loud and unhappy noises as she pushed back her chair and bolted out of the room. Her feet never seemed to move fast enough. If she was lucky, it wouldn’t fly at her. Luck was rarely on her side in these situations, but it didn’t keep her from hoping. She flung the door open, still visibly unhappy, and plowed straight into something solid. Her immediate thought was that she’d somehow forgotten to actually open the door in her haste—wouldn’t have been unusual for her, really.

However, she quickly realized that it was a person, not a door, when she heard an  _ oomph _ and felt hands wrap around her shoulders. 

“Paige? What’s wrong?”

The voice was heavy with concern. And it also belonged to a certain super soldier that she’d had limited interactions with.  _ Limited _ meaning signing a few things and short conversations when they wound up in the kitchen at the same time. 

“Oh! Bucky! Ah—” she finally looked up at him and almost couldn’t form her words. Sometimes she had trouble normally looking into his bright eyes, but it was even harder now, when they were swimming with worry and… something else she couldn’t really put her finger on. Reading people wasn’t her top skill, and it was even harder when she was panicking. “I, uh, cockroach.” She moved quickly to hide behind him, his hands loosening quickly to let her go, and nodded towards her office.

“Cockroach?” he asked, still seemingly baffled. 

She nodded quickly and shuddered. “I fucking hate those things and they always fly at me, even if I don’t make any move to kill them. It’s like every single one of those demonic spawns know how much I hate them and actively try to make my life a living nightmare. And this one was on my desk and I was about to touch it and  _ ughhhh _ .”

She couldn’t see his face, but she could hear that clearly he wasn’t as worried as before. “It’s okay, I can take care of it, if you want.”

“Please, please. I’m sorry to make you do this but—”

He chuckled softly, “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’ll get it. On your desk, you said?”

She nodded, then realized he couldn’t see it. “Yes, please. Thank you.”

Bucky ducked into the office quietly, leaving Paige to pace while shaking her hands in front of her door. She hated that she was acting like such a wimp in front of him. It had to leave a terrible impression. But she just couldn’t help it. Roaches were just  _ so fucking gross. _

He came back a moment later, grinning triumphantly. “Got it. It was a big one, too. I can see why you reacted like you did. Gotta say, though, you did scare me when you screamed.”

“Phew.” She put her hand over her heart and gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you so much, Bucky. And again, I’m sorry. Sorry for running into you and sorry for scaring you and sorry for making you kill it because I’m a giant wimp—”

He held up his hands in a gentle  _ calm down _ motion. “It’s okay, really. Everyone’s scared of something, right? Besides, I used to do this for my sisters all the time.” His eyes were suddenly distant, mind going over various old memories. Paige’s heart took a funny leap.  _ What must it be like to have outlived your family? _

A quick shake of the head brought him back to the present. “I’m just glad it wasn’t something more serious.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t exactly make me feel any better about the whole thing.”

The laughter was nervous this time. “Not what I meant, sorry, sorry. I just meant that you’re safe.”

She smiled genuinely that time. “Yeah, me too. Also I think maybe we need to stop saying ‘sorry’ to each other.”

“You’re right. Sorry.”

She wondered if it was just a slip of the tongue until a cheesy, smug grin split his face. Soon they were both laughing. 

“I don’t mean to be a damper, but did you need something? You were at my door awfully quick,” she asked, laughter still tinting her voice. 

He seemed to be blushing, which was totally not her intention, so she started blushing too. “Uh, no, I just happened to be walking by, and I heard you scream, so…”

The fact that she squinted at him and looked at the stairs outside her office seemed to signal that Bucky needed to explain. 

“Oh, uh.” He gestured at his ears. “Enhanced hearing.”

“Ah,” she nodded. “Well, if you ever need anything, I’m almost always in my office. And if not, F.R.I.D.A.Y. can get my attention for you.”

“And if you run into any more roaches, just let me know.”

“I will definitely take you up on that offer, Bucky. Thank you. Again.” 

“Anytime, Paige.” And with another sweet smile, he was gone, leaving Paige wondering exactly why any of the staff at the compound was afraid of him. 

* * *

Coincidences were rare in Bucky’s life. And usually fairly unremarkable. This particular coincidence was no different, yet at the same time, it was.

Two days after the cockroach incident, Bucky found himself back in Paige’s office, where he was forced to confront the topic of his living family members and what they knew, where they were. He didn’t know the answers to any of that; Shuri had asked him if he wanted to know their whereabouts, but he hadn’t been ready then. Lately, though, he had been thinking about looking them up a lot, particularly the last two days. Maybe this would be cathartic. Maybe it wouldn’t. But he was willing to try. 

He’d seen the look on Paige’s face, honey brown eyes swimming with sympathy, when he’d mentioned his sisters. And here she was, actively asking about his family because someone else had been looking into them. She didn’t seem like the nosy type and had given him his space without staying too far away so far. So this was definitely one of those rare coincidences.

And the kid from the airport was there. Bucky would have recognized that voice anywhere. How many teenagers could stop a punch from his metal arm? Or throw an incredibly heavy metal projectile right back at him? Or who pissed Sam off just as much as he did without having to try?

Yeah, Bucky already liked him.

“And I can totally grab the wasp and throw it back outside, but I can’t just do that in public, you know? So it flew around for a few more minutes while everyone was screaming and just going nuts. Then Mr. Cooper finally got it to go out the window. Then the teacher in the next room ran in and was like, ‘What the hell is happening in here?’ So that got everyone to laugh instead. The bell rang like, five seconds later and we all left. Mr. Cooper didn’t even get to collect the homework so I stayed up late for nothing.”

“Better safe than sorry, kiddo. And I know that wasps are mean, but honestly I don’t get why people freak out about them. It’s just gonna make it worse and you’re actually gonna get stung,” Paige said matter-of-factly, twirling her curly chestnut hair in one of her fingers.

Bucky couldn’t help but interject as he swung the door open. He’d lingered outside the office, not wanting to interrupt the end of the story. “I seem to remember someone reacting very poorly to a cockroach a few days ago…”

There was now a frown plastered on Paige’s face. “It was huge and disgusting.”

“There was a cockroach in here?” The kid seemed suddenly on edge as he looked sharply around the room, almost dropping the backpack slung casually over his shoulder. “How? Isn’t this place like one of the most secure places on earth?” 

“I’m still trying to figure that out, too. This is the first time I’ve ever seen one here. There weren’t ever any at the Tower, either.”

Bucky sucked a breath in through his teeth. “They’re sneaky bastards. Those and spiders.” He looked pointedly at the kid, whose face was now much more colorful than before.  _ Boy, he could use some sun. _

Paige snickered, then quickly covered it with her mouth. “Sorry, sorry. Hi, Bucky.”

He nodded at her, smiling sweetly. “Hi, Paige.”

“Peter, this is Bucky. Bucky, Peter Parker. I’m told you two have met already, though.”

Peter shifted uncomfortably. “Uh, yeah. Um, look, I’m sorry about that whole thing—” 

A hand came up to silence him. “It’s okay, it was a complicated situation,” Bucky soothed. “We were all doing what we thought was right.”

The kid relaxed a bit. “Yeah… Well, I’m glad they let you join the Avengers, Mr. White Wolf, sir—or, uh...”

Paige effectively stifled a laugh, while Bucky was unsuccessful in his attempt. “Please, just call me Bucky.”

“Right, okay, sorry Mr. Bucky.”

Paige was full on laughing now. She’d stood from her desk and put her hand on Peter’s shoulder. Bucky realized just how short Paige was now that he was able to compare her to Peter, who wasn’t that tall to begin with. “Hey, kiddo, relax. Bucky’s a cool guy.”

Bucky dipped his head slightly to hide his light blush. “Whatever makes you comfortable. I know I’m an old man, but I don’t expect you to call me sir or anything. I’m just Bucky.”

Peter was nodding rapidly. “Okay, yeah, sorry, Bucky. I’m Peter. It’s nice to officially meet you.”

Bucky took the outstretched hand and shook. “Nice to officially meet you, too, Peter.”

Paige clapped her hands and startled Parker. “Oh, sorry hun. Uh, Bucky, do you want anything? I’ve got some snacks and drinks in my fridge, if you want?”

He followed her gaze to find the fridge she mentioned, tucked in the corner under the shelves she’d filled with various succulents. He smiled and nodded. “Sure. Nat said you used to have, like, melon soda in there?”

Bucky liked that fond look that she suddenly had. “Yeah, and I still do. Order from Japan comes in every month. My best friend introduced me to them years ago and now I’m a little addicted.”

“They’re  _ so _ good, though,” Peter agreed, sounding more like a little kid than a teenager. 

“Oh yeah,” Paige muttered as she pulled out cans for Bucky and Peter. “You’re the reason I’ve had to double my order. Even though you’re only here like two days a week, max. One of which is my off day.”

The affection in her voice wasn’t missed by Peter, which is why he was sporting a smug smile as he took the offering. “Everyone says I’m a growing boy.”

“Oh  _ now _ you’re gonna lean into that excuse?”

“Well, that and the whole radioactive spider bite. It’s why I’m hungry all the time.”

_ Man, she wasn’t lying. This is really good. _ “Well, that makes two of us,” Bucky said after he’d swallowed down half the can. “Fast metabolisms are a bitch.” 

“Yes, yes they are. I always forget that you and Cap go through the same thing. Well, kinda.”

“Well, just don’t raid my fridge before telling me first, guys.” Paige plopped into her chair and tapped a few keys. “I’m happy to share, but with y’all’s appetites, I’ll need to order extra first.”

Downing the remainder of his can because he just couldn’t help himself, Bucky shrugged. “Might wanna lock your office, then.”

“I would get more work done that way…” she mused. “But then that means I wouldn’t get any welcome distractions.”

His brows raised up suspiciously. “So what does that make me? Work, or a distraction?”

It was nearly impossible not to smile when Paige suddenly became visibly flustered, not knowing how to answer for a moment. “Um… uh, both, I guess? I did ask you to come here for the meeting, but we can shoot the shit all day and I won’t really be bothered.”

“Did you want me to leave? Is this a sorta private meeting?” Peter gestured towards the door and pulled his backpack further up his shoulder again. He sounded unsure of what exactly was going on, which is sort of how Bucky felt. 

Bucky caught Paige’s questioning glance. Apparently she didn’t think it was need-to-know as much as Bucky thought she did. If it got to be too much, he’d just excuse himself or ask for a moment alone with Paige where he didn’t have to embarrass himself in front of the kid. 

He simply shrugged. 

“Well,” Paige said, tilting her head slightly with an understanding look, “if Bucky’s okay with it, you can hang out here if you want. Until Tony comes looking for you, anyway. And he will.”

“Yeah, okay, thanks, Miss Paige, Bucky.” Peter seemed to stumble a little on his name, and Bucky blinked at his use of “Miss Paige.”

She seemed to catch that. “I’m an authority figure, according to Peter, so he won’t stop calling me  _ Miss Paige _ . It’s adorable. Unnecessary, but adorable.” She gave Bucky a wry smile. “Which means he doesn’t consider you an authority figure.”

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up.  _ Oh, that’s how it is, huh?  _ “Well good luck finding someone else to take care of your cockroach situation.”

The pursed lips did nothing to hide her smile. Peter interrupted frantically before Paige could actually answer, though. “That’s actually not what I think, by the way. You’re both very important—”

A quick, friendly shake of the head cut him off. “It’s all right. I don’t want to be called Mr.  _ anything _ , so please don’t. So—” he turned his attention to Paige—“what exactly have people found?”

“I’m gonna work on some of my homework while you two… do that,” Peter mumbled, sliding onto the couch and rustling around in his backpack. 

She tapped a few keys on her keyboard and motioned to the TV situated on the wall behind Peter and Bucky. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. has been able to hide the true search results. Mostly reporters and the like have been looking up your family, but they keep getting dead ends. I wanted to make sure that these people are your family.” Softer, “I know you haven’t seen them in a long time, but I have a feeling you’ll know if it’s them.”

Bucky stared at the screen and felt his heart lurch painfully. All of his sisters’ names and faces were there; their last names weren’t Barnes anymore, and they were all much older, but it was them. His mouth was dry. Only Becca was still alive, but the others had kids running around with families of their own now, from the look of it. They’d lived full, hopefully happy lives while he’d been unwillingly making a horrible name for himself. 

_ Shit. Fuck. _ His head was suddenly swimming with unasked for memories, both good and bad. Laughter, scraped knees, Marie’s weird signature eye roll, braiding Becca’s hair in the morning because she was too frustrated to do it herself, blood on his hands, trading punches with the idiot that didn’t stand a chance because he broke Emma’s heart, sharp buzzing and clenched teeth, Wednesday nights at the diner with all three girls and Steve, promises that he’d be home from the war before they even had a chance to miss him...

It was almost too much. He never should have left them. 

He nearly jumped when he felt two hands on his left shoulder. 

“Bucky?” came Paige’s worried voice. “Bucky, hey.”

Suddenly, he was aware of exactly why she’d jumped up from her seat and why Parker was standing now, too, also suddenly taller than before. One of his knees had given out, and now he was kneeling on the floor. Paige had crouched next to him and was trying to coax him out of his own mind. 

Bucky blinked a few times before his head settled down, though the dull ache would likely be there for the rest of the day. “I… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s okay.” Paige gently squeezed his arm. When he involuntarily flexed under her touch—he really didn’t know why he did that—she drew her hands back immediately, seemingly afraid she’d crossed a line. “Oh, uh, I’m sorry. I should have asked first—”

He nodded, then shook his head. “No, uh, it’s okay. I don’t mind, really. I just… Sorry.” A small smile, then, “We should stop saying sorry to each other.”

This was received with a laugh and a very confused look from Peter. “Are you okay though, M—Bucky?” 

“Yeah, yeah. It was just… a lot of it came back at once, and it was a bit overwhelming. S’not the first time.” He sounded shakier than he’d wanted to. 

“Bucky,” Paige said, drawing his attention again as she placed a hand back on his shoulder, “we don’t have to do this right now. I can have F.R.I.D.A.Y. keep hiding these results. I just needed to make sure it was them. I should have just sent you an email or something. This is my fault.”

He covered her hand with his and patted it. “It’s—I didn’t know it would be that...much. Not your fault. And I’m okay, really.” He watched as her cheeks flushed pink a little before he drew back his hand and made a move to stand again. 

“I think I should go see her. Rebecca.”

A gentle nod from Paige. “Yeah, if you feel like you’re up for it. We’ll keep her a secret, that way you can go see her in privacy.”

“I think that address is actually like down the street from me,” Peter said while squinting at the screen thoughtfully. “Yeah! One of my friends actually lives in that building.”

Paige tugged at her necklace. “That actually gives me an idea. If you want to call her first before seeing her, we can arrange a meeting here? It’d be more private for the both of you, and it wouldn’t be all that weird because there’s already a Stark-looking car going down that neighborhood weekly anyway.” 

Bucky nodded and Peter added, “Yeah, I could call Happy and he could just pick us up at the same time.”

“Whatever you want, Buck.”

“Thank you.” Bucky gave her a meaningful look, lingering on her face a little longer than he’d meant to. Her expression was so sweet and encouraging, though. “And thank you, Peter.” He was starting to feel a little bit better, though he definitely needed to write all of this down in his journal. Maybe call Shuri. 

“If you need to blow off some steam or something, I could skip my homework and we could go fight in the gym? Or order like, a  _ ton _ of pizza? Pizza always makes me feel better,” Peter offered.

Bucky laughed, and though her words were meant to sound scathing, Paige was just as amused. “Is that all you boys ever think about? Food and fighting?”

_ Should I... ? Why not? _ “I think you’re forgetting another F word.”

Bucky would be thinking about the hilarious expressions on both of their faces for weeks to come. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these could be posted as separate chapters, but... I just can't make myself break it up. I like longer chapters where little things happen, anyway. 
> 
> Also, little bit of a warning that it gets a bit angsty. Not too much though, about on the same par as last part.

**Friday, Late February**

“You want me… to go with you?”

Yeah, Bucky hadn’t been expecting to ask Paige to go with him, either. But after the phone call with Becca, where he’d mentioned that she helped orchestrate the whole thing, she’d demanded to meet her, too. She was still the sociable one, it seemed. Seventy years later, and Bucky still had the worst time resisting Becca’s demands. 

Bucky leaned forward in the chair and laced his hands together on his knees. “She requested that you come, too. Steve’s gonna be there, if that makes it easier.”

Paige thoughtfully chewed on the end of her pen from the other side of her desk before responding. “I’m happy to go, I just figured that this might be too personal for some random coworker to come along. Steve makes sense. I’m just surprised she’s asking for me.”

A small smile formed on his lips. “Yeah, me too. But she’s insistent. Always has been. She wants to meet the person who helped me find her. To thank you.”

“You could have done that yourself, and F.R.I.D.A.Y. did most of the work, so nobody really needs to thank me.”

She’d spoken so quickly in an attempt to divert the praise from herself that the words almost ended up meshing together unintelligibly. Bucky chuckled. “You didn’t let me finish. Steve thinks it’s a good idea. You can explain legalities and stuff.” He waved his hands dismissively before clasping them together again. “He was more specific, but I kinda stopped listening.”

“Did he do that very Captain America voice?”

Ah, she knew about that. Which really shouldn’t have surprised him. It was _Steve_. “Of course he did. I always tune him out.”

She was laughing now. “That’s fair. You’ve had to deal with that for a long time now.” She squinted for a moment before moving on. “If he’s pulling that voice, I guess I have no choice but to go.”

“You could just ignore him. I do it all the time.”

“Mmmm, I could, but even after all the years I’ve known him, I still don’t like that disappointed Steve Rogers face he gets.”

“He gives you the puppy dog eyes? That punk. It’s how he’s always gotten his way before. I oughta teach him a lesson…”

“Please let me be there so I can record it. For my personal stash, of course.”

“Of course. Don’t need the whole world knowing Captain America can get beat up by a man older than him with only one arm, after all.”

Paige was startled by the new voice, but Bucky knew he’d been standing there long enough to hear them rag on him. “By one year, Buck. One year. And I’m pretty sure I’ve got a lesson or two to still teach you.”

“Wanna test that theory out, Rogers?”

“I’d love to, but I also don’t wanna keep your sister waiting.” Steve turned to Paige with an only slightly less annoyed look. “Are you coming along with us?”

Paige pulled off the faux disappointed look well. “I mean, I guess if I don’t want to get that _So You’re in Detention_ speech from you for not following orders.”

Bucky roared with laughter as Steve sighed and threw up his hands, muttering something about not being proud of those. Peter was definitely going to get a whole extra pizza tomorrow for giving Bucky that fodder. And Paige was definitely growing on him. It was nice that people had been around to give Steve shit while he was absent. 

“Come on, Happy’s waiting.”

“Next time, give a girl a little bit more of a warning before two super soldiers whisk her off for an afternoon,” she mumbled good-naturedly. 

“Why?” Steve quirked his head as she gathered her purse and jacket. 

“I could have dressed a little nicer.”

Bucky furrowed his brow at her. “You look nice to me.” She was just wearing her usual Casual Friday-type attire: jeans and a casual blouse. She always looked fine to him. 

“Not as nice as you two, though.” She gestured with her free hand at their long-sleeve button-downs and slacks. He noticed her ears went red as her gaze seemed to linger on Bucky’s form a little longer than Steve. Maybe his shirt was a little too tight and it looked wrong? _Maybe I shouldn’t take fashion advice from Steve._

“You’re not meeting the Pope,” Steve teased. 

She locked her door behind her and started to follow, but then stopped and whirled around to unlock it again. Likely so Peter could sneak in and grab his usual snacks. Happy was leaving them in Queens while he dropped Peter off. Best way to keep up the charade. “Yeah, but Mrs. Richardson asked to see me, so I would have liked to make a good first impression. As good as I can manage, anyway. This is me we’re talking about.”

Steve slung am arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him instinctively. “And I thought Buck was nervous about seeing her again. Relax, Paige.” 

“That was a jo—you know I’m kidding, right?”

That gave Steve pause, and Paige laughed. “I do now,” he sighed, but there was nothing but fondness in his voice. “I can never really tell if you’re being serious about that stuff.”

She leaned away from him a moment later, and he dropped his arm casually at his side. “All these years, and you still can’t figure women out, huh?”

“We’re not gonna start that again.”

Bucky wished he could be as calm as those two. Becca had sounded excited on the phone—what he could hear between her tears and his own—but seeing someone in person was always different. He had done so much bad shit since he last saw her. She knew about most of it, she’d said, but it still didn’t help put him at ease. He should have been there for her, to see all his sisters off to get married (even if it wasn’t formally recognized until a few years ago for Becca). To be the uncle that spoiled all his nieces and nephews. To help her in any and every way a big brother should. 

H.Y.D.R.A. and the war had ruined all of that. But he wasn’t going to let them ruin anything else going forward. 

The car ride over was uneventful, really. Paige had snagged her work tablet before they left and spent most of the ride chewing on her lip while she fiddled with it. Happy had seemed, well, unhappy to be reduced to a glorified chauffeur again, but a few heartfelt “thank you”s from Paige seemed to ease his sour mood. She seemed to have that effect on people. Steve and Bucky mostly also sat in silence, staring out the windows lost in thought. Bucky kept psyching himself up to not cry again, but it ended up being futile. 

Seeing Becca’s glittering gray-blue eyes staring back at him with that same familial love he thought he’d lost a lifetime ago sent him right back over the edge. It was pitiful, really. A trained assassin, reduced to tears in front of his baby sister, blubbering about how much he loved and missed her. Again.

It really was so much worse than over the phone.

At least he wasn’t alone in crying. Steve shed a few tears when Bucky had finally let Becca go, and Paige, likely overwhelmed by all the raw emotion in the small apartment, was crying herself. It was really weepy, and Bucky was only sorry he had to drag other people into it.

Once they’d finally calmed down and Becca had sat them down on the couches in the living room, Bucky started in on apologizing about everything.

“Becks, I—”

“If you apologize again, _James_ , I’m going to have to beat you up like I used to,” she warned. She still sounded like she did as a kid, but the years had definitely taken their toll, making her voice much shakier and raspier. Hair was gray instead of that dirty blonde, and in a stylish pixie cut now—she was the only one who didn’t get the brunette gene in the family. But it was definitely Rebecca. And he wasn’t sure he’d ever get over the shock of having her here in front of him. 

“I don’t doubt that,” he croaked, laughing. He’d always let her win in their wrestling matches because how could he resist? 

“What you did all those years for those evil people, I don’t blame you. None of us do,” she continued.

He nodded. “I know.”

Steve’s hand on his shoulder kept him from going on and pitying himself. It was nice how easily Steve could read him. Bucky simply nodded in a thanks, and Steve spoke up next. “I think I should be the one apologizing. I should have looked you up sooner, Becca.”

Becca smiled easily at them. “No, you did it when you were able to. You’ve both been through a lot, and I knew you’d find me when you were ready. I’d hoped it was before I kicked the bucket,” she chuckled. Dry sense of humor was still intact. “And now, here you are. And you brought Miss Halcomb like I asked.”

They turned to look at Paige, who was clutching her tablet to her chest. Bucky thought she looked uncomfortable. Like she was intruding. He shot her a reassuring smile when she glanced at him, which seemed to help. “Hi, Mrs. Richardson. I’m Paige Halcomb,” she said, sticking out her hand.

Becca took it with both of her hands and smiled warmly. “So I’ve heard. You can call me Becca. Thank you for helping these two out. They’ve never been good with modern technology, even when we were young.”

Bucky frowned. “I resent that. Steve was the one who had trouble operating a radio, not me.”

Steve opened his mouth to protest, but Paige’s tease came out before he had the chance. “He’s still kinda bad now.”

“You two really need to stop ganging up on me today,” Steve pouted.

“It’s really easy, though. And you know we do it out of love, Cap.”

Becca laughed, “Some things never change, I see.” She met Bucky’s eyes and her face shifted into something more serious. “Bucky, I’ve been meaning to ask…”

He felt all eyes on him and he squirmed under the sudden attention. Really wasn’t in the best emotional state right now, and it seemed that Becca was picking up on that. She’d always been so much smarter than him.

“Have you been seeing a therapist at all since you got back?”

“Oh, uh,” he started, then clamped his mouth shut. It wasn’t really something he’d thought about, even though Sam had mentioned it once or twice. He didn’t think—no he knew he didn’t want to talk about his life with a total stranger. It was hard enough with Steve, Shuri, and occasionally Sam, when he wasn’t being an ass. For all Zemo’s godawful intentions, he had been right about the horrors never stopping if he kept breathing life into them. Nobody pressured him to continue, so it was a moment before he regained his composure. “Yeah. I’ve been talking to… friends.” He looked down at his hands.

“That’s not the same thing.”

And she still was the smart one.

“I know, but I just… I don’t want to. I’ve already had the psych eval, and that was almost too much.” He huffed sharply and ran a hand through his hair. “I remember enough to know who was involved and how to find them. I’ll give any of that information to the team so we can get rid of them, in whatever way they want. But I don’t want to burden anyone else with my shit. I’ve done that enough already.”

Becca leaned forward, but didn’t say anything until Bucky was looking at her again. “I understand how you feel. I do. But you are not a burden, James Buchanan Barnes. And I’m bringing this up for several reasons. I care about you, Bucky. I love you, and I missed you so much. It breaks my heart to see what they made you do, what they did to you.” Oh good, he was going to start crying again. “I don’t want to see you suffer from this alone any longer. I know Steve and your other friends are here, and I’m here now, for however much longer it is.” A dry laugh, but her tone was still warm when she continued. “But you need someone who can help you. Professionally. It’s gonna suck, but it’ll help. I’ve seen it plenty of times before.”

She was making too much sense for him not to listen. Shuri had helped tremendously in untangling his mind—as had getting knocked out by a falling helicopter, it turned out. Despite being the smartest person Bucky knew, and perhaps the smartest person on earth, Shuri hadn’t been formally trained to help him make sense of and move on from what happened. And he had kept many things to himself; she was just a teenager, and she didn’t deserve the burden of knowledge about all of his awful past. Maybe he did need someone else to untangle that web of shit still in his head. Someone who undoubtedly knew what they were doing. 

“It doesn’t have to be a total stranger.”

That drew everyone’s attention back to Becca. “What…?” he asked, barely above a whisper. 

She smiled softly. “My wife was a licensed therapist. I still know plenty of people in the business. Good people. People I trust to help you.”

Even though he wasn’t looking at either of them, he felt Paige straighten up and pull her tablet away from her chest and Steve cock his head curiously. Bucky merely blinked a few times before registering what she said. “She was? I… That might be…Good...” His brain was going a little too fast to form a clear sentence. 

Paige cleared her throat quietly and asked, voice timid but encouraging, “If it’s okay with you, Bucky, I think that’d be a good idea. I can get the names from Becca, and I can have Justin look into them.” She held out a pacifying hand at Becca. “It’s not like we don’t trust anyone you trust, we just have to have background checks on everyone, unfortunately. Job perk,” she finished with a half-hearted shrug, which was returned with an understanding smile.

Bucky nodded at her, then turned to Steve. _Might as well get everyone’s opinion on the matter since they’re here._ “Yeah, Buck,” Steve agreed, nodding. “I think this would be a good idea. And I’m not going to be the pot calling the kettle black.” He leaned back with one of those very _Steve_ looks. “I might look into going to one myself. I really should have done it a long time ago.”

This wasn’t exactly what he’d been expecting to discuss with Becca, but apparently it was needed. He already felt like his shoulders were lighter. And maybe it’d be easier with someone who wasn’t always looking at him like Steve was. They’d had a long discussion about how none of this was Steve’s fault, but he could still see regret and sorrow flash across Steve’s face when he thought Bucky wasn’t looking. Which was very rich because Bucky blamed everything on himself still. Steve would see the same look on Bucky, and he’d throw his words right back at him. It was just a constant back-and-forth between them that really seemed to go nowhere.

Maybe he really did need a therapist. An official one.

Well, he did decide that he was going to be a good big brother with the time they had left…

“Yeah…” A deep, steadying breath to clear his mind, then, “I should try.”

Becca’s smile grew even wider. “Well, now that that’s out of the way, what’s say we stop being such Debbie Downers and have some lemon pie?” She winked at Bucky. “Almost exactly the way ma used to make it, if I do say so myself.”

Steve was practically already drooling, and for the first time in a while, Bucky felt like everything really was going to be all right.

* * *

**Mid-March**

Sam was going to kill Bucky. Very slowly and painfully. 

“That’s your fault, you know,” Bucky said, failing to hide a smile.

“No it’s not, you asshole. It’s F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s fault,” he argued, holding his now bleeding nose. “Also fuck you and your super soldier serum and your vibranium arm.”

“Don’t get distracted, isn’t that the number one rule of fighting?” Bucky was having way too much fun with this and Sam hated him. He took a few steps back and looked up at the ceiling. “What’s up, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

The AI’s voice filled the room, somehow managing to sound amused. “Sergeant Barnes, I have a message for you from Miss Halcomb.” F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice faded and a recording of Paige’s voice rang out, “Please let Bucky know that I have another infestation problem.” Bucky’s face contorted. She sounded mildly distressed.

“Infestation? What the hell is that about? And why is she asking you?” Sam was suddenly much more interested. “You’re hardly a tech expert.”

Bucky’s mouth twisted into a grin. “Not tech. Actual bugs.”

Sam was even more confused. “What? We have an infestation here? How?” He pulled his hand away from his nose and noticed there wasn’t nearly as much blood as he had expected. The surprise of being punched in the face after hearing F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice so suddenly probably caused him to think the punch was harder than it was. Sam frowned. _Still an ass._

“I wonder that too,” came Bucky’s voice, though much farther away than Sam remembered. His eyes shot up and found Bucky was just steps from the exit of the training room. Ever since he’d left the facility with Paige, Steve, and Happy that one day a couple weeks ago, he’d been in a much better mood, and he wouldn’t say why. Yeah, he’d mentioned he started to see a therapist, but Sam wasn’t entirely sure it was the only reason he seemed to be feeling better. A few days, in fact, he’d looked gloomier than before. Which wasn’t unusual; therapy made you confront some things you’d rather not. But he bounced back faster now than he used to after bad days. He was even texting way more than normal. Sam knew he was entitled to his privacy, but he couldn’t help but wonder what exactly gave Bucky that extra boost. 

Sam huffed, irritated, as he quickly caught up. “You still didn’t answer my question.”

Bucky ignored him. “Her office again?”

“Kitchen, first floor, actually,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. clarified.

Sam’s frown deepened. Bucky was doing this on purpose. He wouldn’t have to wait long to find out exactly what was going on, though. That particular kitchen was close to the training room. 

Sam’s hairs stood on end at the sight of Paige backed into a corner and looking wildly around at the floor. Maybe it wasn’t actual bugs but some sort of tech that had snuck in? His muscles tensed as he prepared to rush around Bucky until the soldier stuck his arm out. Sam looked at him for clarification, expecting to see Bucky’s face hardened and assessing some unknown factor Sam couldn’t see.

But no, Bucky thought this was _funny_. 

“You’ll probably cause them to scurry away, or, worst case, fly at her if you run into the room like that.”

Paige looked horrified at that suggestion. “Please don’t do that. Just kill them, oh my god,” she squeaked. 

Sam took a few steps closer once Bucky had put his arm down and saw exactly why Bucky was so amused. 

Cockroaches. Four of them.

 _Okay good. Real bugs._ Sam had to admit they were disgusting, so Paige’s reaction made more sense. He looked back up and met her eyes. His expression shifted to more or less mirror Bucky’s. “Really, honey? You can’t just step around them? Or on them?” His tone was softer, but that didn’t seem to ease Paige’s distress.

Her hands vibrated as she blanched. “Every time I try to kill one myself or get away, they fucking run at me or fly at me and it’s the grossest thing ever. Bucky,” she pleaded, meeting the super soldier’s gaze finally, “I’m sorry, but _please_ kill them.”

Sam was a little offended that she had turned to _him_ for help, but he figured it might have been warranted considering how Sam was treating her plight.

“Don’t give me that look,” Paige warned. Sam followed her gaze and noticed Bucky was stifling a laugh. “It’s not funny, you two.”

Okay, scratch that. Paige asking for Bucky’s help made no sense anymore. 

“I got it, I’m sorry,” Bucky apologized as he made his way towards the swarm. They seemed to be preoccupied with a few crumbs in the ground or cleaning their antennae, so he was able to quickly stamp them out. 

Sam tried to hide the fact that he paled slightly at the crunching sound they made. It was objectively gross, but he would not admit it when he could hold this over Paige’s head. This might get him out of more of those stupid press briefings, and he’d be damned if he was going to let that opportunity pass him by. 

With the threat eliminated, Paige relaxed... somewhat. She ran her hands over her face and moved away from the corner she’d been trapped in. “God. Why? Nobody else here has ever complained about these fucking affronts to God, yet it’s happened to me twice?!”

Bucky tried and failed to turn his laugh into a cough, which earned him a sharp glare. “Shut up,” she grumbled. There was a pause before she continued, her voice more sincere, “Thank you, though.”

Bucky beamed. “Anytime. Though we might want to call an exterminator because we can’t have you slacking on the job.”

“Why did you ask for him anyway?” Sam asked before Paige could offer a reply. She had moved to stand next to Sam. He suspected it was to use him as a human shield in case any more roaches popped up. He tried not to let his disgust at the thought show. “Why not just get F.R.I.D.A.Y. to like, deploy some sort of bug zapper or whatever?” 

Paige looked up at him and crossed her arms. She suddenly looked... sheepish? “Well...” her voice matched the expression she was trying to hide. “Bucky was there the first time. One popped up on my desk in my office and I screamed.”

“I was close enough to hear and tried to come help...” Bucky added.

“And I nearly bowled him over when I came running out of my office. Sorry about that, again.” Barnes quickly waved a dismissive hand while giving her a look that had some meaning behind it that confused the fuck out of Sam. “He killed that one for me and offered to kill any more the next time they showed up. So... yeah.” She glanced back at the carnage in the kitchen and made another face. “They’re so gross. I can handle any other bug but roaches just.... they give me the heebie jeebies and they seem to have it out for me. Even if I’m not the one trying to kill them they run straight for me!”

Sam quirked an eyebrow and looked at Bucky, who met his gaze with an expression that said he found it just as amusing as Sam did. “The last one I killed looked like it was fixing to make a break for you.”

Her head shot up. “Fuck off, Sam,” she commanded, though there was a smile threatening to take over her whole face. She was starting to visibly relax. Though she did scrunch her nose unhappily a moment later. “No offense, but were you two just working out?”

“Sparring. Sam was losing.” Barnes now had a shit-eating grin. Sam was definitely going to kill him.

“Through no fault of my own! God, whatever, man. We’ll go shower now.”

“Call us if you run into any more.” 

Bucky winked, and Sam caught Paige’s cheeks had turned a light shade of pink. _Hmm_.

Maybe that was why Barnes was in such a jolly good mood. He’d seen them chatting up a lot in the kitchen during lunches. More than they had before, anyway. If it wasn’t for Happy and Steve’s involvement in whatever outing they’d had, he’d have assumed they went on a date. 

_Better keep an eye on them. Never know when one of those helpless idiots will need a push in the right direction._

“I can’t believe you’re making me clean this up myself!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, kids! We got lots of tropes crammed into one long chapter. And this one is probably my favorite so far.

**Late March**

It was such a nice day outside. Sunny and cool and full of the promises of new beginnings and new friendships, as the best spring days were. But Paige couldn’t fully enjoy it. 

Meeting Carol Danvers had been _awkward_. 

And it was entirely Paige’s fault. Maybe a little bit Carol’s. It totally wasn’t fair how intimidating and pretty she was. Especially with her new haircut; Paige liked the longer hair from those old photos she’d seen, but the shorter worked _really well._ Everyone else had seemed to be at least a little unsure about her, too. Maybe not as awestruck as Paige, but still. They hadn’t had nearly as much trouble getting coherent thoughts out. 

Bi panic was a real thing. Especially when the pretty person was someone new.

Then there was the issue of how close to her Carol had insisted on standing. Paige had tried to step back as inconspicuously as possible—she didn’t know Carol at all and there was no way her perceptive eyes weren’t seeing right through Paige’s soul, which was terrifying—but Carol followed. Until Nicky Fury ( _holy shit he’s still alive?!_ ) had pulled her away to talk to some other people. 

So maybe it wasn’t entirely Paige’s fault. 

“I’m impressed. I could feel the awkward from all the way over there.”

Paige shrunk into herself as she looked up at Rhodey. “I know,” she whined. “I was bad. Do you think she hates me?”

Rhodey made a face and shrugged. “I dunno. I could go ask her.” 

“No, no, that’s okay, please. I’m already so close to just dropping dead on the spot.”

An arm wrapped around her shoulders. “If it helps, she is kind of scary. Like, in a good way.”

“Agreed.” She leaned into Rhodey and sighed dejectedly. “I would say that maybe there’s hope for the press conference or the gala tomorrow to make a better second or third impression, but I don’t have much good luck on my side, it seems, so… this is great.”

“At least you’ll look nice.” Rhodey tilted his head, then immediately realized how that sounded and tried to make amends. “Not that you don’t look nice normally, but you always clean up for those things really well.”

She chuckled, “I get what you mean. Thanks, Rhodey. You clean up nice, too.”

He gave her shoulders a comforting squeeze. “Look, I don’t know a single person here who doesn’t like you. You shouldn’t be worried about her, because once she gets to know you and you stop being awkward as hell,” he received a gentle elbow to the ribs but continued without missing a beat, “she’ll like you just like everyone else here does. Besides, I think she’s been off Earth long enough to have forgotten some of our social norms. So it wasn’t all you. Still kinda you, but not all you.”

Another elbow to the ribs. “Gee, thanks, Rhodey.” She patted his arm, which he then dropped, and took a small step away. “Since they don’t need me anymore, I’ve gotta go make a couple more calls before it gets too late and people start calling me and freaking out. So I’d rather not make my day any weirder.” She squinted at the distance, where Fury and Carol were chatting with Sam, who, as always, looked confident and was actually smiling. _Stupid charming Sam_. “Fury’s alive. God.”

“I know, right?”

She turned her gaze back to Rhodey and pulled out her phone. “If I didn’t know it was on a strictly need to know basis, I’d shank you right here and now for keeping that from me.” She pointed at him threateningly and walked back inside to her office, Rhodey’s amused chuckle fading with each step. 

The calls that needed to be made were over and done relatively quickly, so she spent the rest of the morning finalizing the setup of the press room. There wasn’t much to do there, really, since it was going to be the same setup as always, but she needed to keep herself occupied so that she didn’t fall asleep. Maybe lack of sleep had contributed to her mess earlier, too.

Nobody else was in the room with her while she pulled out the extra chairs. F.R.I.D.A.Y. had informed her approximately seven times already of additional reporters and photographers, and a small camera crew, that had requested and been cleared for press passes. Which both surprised and didn’t surprise her. On the one hand, the Avengers were introducing a new member of the team. One that wouldn’t necessarily be around all the time, but someone new nonetheless. That was big enough news to warrant every available media outlet sending at least one person to get the scoop. On the other hand, why were so many new people getting clearances? This room was going to be so packed—

“Nobody’s gonna be able to breathe in here if you keep bringin’ out more chairs.”

“Oh my—fuck!” The voice startled Paige so badly that she dropped the three chairs she’d been holding. She spun around, hand over her heart in a feeble attempt to keep it from crashing out through her ribcage, to find Bucky, suddenly much closer than he had sounded a split second ago.

“Paige, I am _so_ sorry for scaring you,” he apologized. He had already bent down to pick up the chairs she’d dropped before she could register what was going on. “I keep forgetting that not everyone around here is a trained field agent. I also keep forgetting how quiet I am, apparently.”

Paige let out a sharp breath and allowed herself to laugh a little bit. “No, it’s—it’s a hard habit to break, I bet. But this was my fault. Sometimes I just get lost in my own head and…” She shrugged. “You don’t have to—”

He shook his head and smiled at her, chairs now tucked comfortably under his arms. It looked so much easier for him to carry them than her, though she was no weakling; being short had a long list of disadvantages. “It’s the least I can do for scaring you so bad. I was gonna help you anyway.”

She fought a losing battle against a smile that was maybe a little too big for the current situation. “Thank you, Bucky. I mean, I absolutely can do this by myself, but thank you.” She tried not to sound offended by his offer, because she wasn’t. It was very sweet.

Apparently, he understood. “I don’t doubt that. But it’s always nice to have help. These just go right here?” he asked, nodding towards the unfinished row of seats. 

“Yeah, just line them up, thank you. I’ll go grab the others. There’s not much left, so I guess people will have to stand. As usual.”

It was a few moments before Bucky spoke up again. “So why are you doing this by yourself in the first place?”

“Needed something to do. Keep my hands busy.” 

She set her chairs down and saw Bucky watching her out of the corner of her eye. When she met his gaze, she found concern written in his features. Why?

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah…?” Had she sounded not okay before?

His brow furrowed. “That didn’t really sound like a definite answer.”

She straightened up and smiled at him. She felt like it was genuine, and his features seemed to relax somewhat. “Yes. I’m fine. I’m just afraid that if I sit in my office doing nothing that I’ll fall asleep and miss this press conference and potentially be in big trouble. And I hate being in trouble. So I need to keep moving and doing something to stay awake.”

He smiled then. “Okay, that’s understandable.” 

“Oh, god. I look more tired than I thought, don’t I?”

Quick, nervous laughter bubbled out from his mouth. “No, no, that’s not what I meant! You look nice, as always.” Was that a blush, too?

“Ugh, now you sound like Rhodey,” she chuckled at him. “Did he tell you to say that?” She noticed that something… strange cross his face when he cleared his throat softly. It was gone so fast she didn’t have time to register what it was. She briefly thought about mulling it over later when she was alone, but that may not be the best idea. She was just tired and was seeing things. Yeah. He was also maybe standing a little bit too close, which would sometimes make her nervous, so she needed to move before she got too awkward.

“Why would he tell me to say that?” It sounded curious more than anything.

She turned back to the storage closet to grab the last of the chairs. “He thought he said something mean earlier on accident— _but he didn’t_ —and tried to cover it up the exact same way you just did. It’d make sense if he just found the nearest person and sent them to try and make sure I’m okay. Wouldn’t have been the first time.” She paused, dangling one of the chairs in midair. “He’s never actually hurt my feelings, though. I think he’s just afraid that I’ll make him do more public appearances if he pisses me off. He’s right about that.”

She hadn’t been paying enough attention to notice that Bucky had already grabbed the last four chairs while she talked. When she finally did realize, she turned to find him halfway across the room, chuckling, “I don’t think I’d blame him. Though that’s not the only reason to be nice to someone.”

“No, it’s not, you’re right. But he’s nice anyway. Always has been. So he’s fine.”

“Um, the reason I asked, though… Usually when someone says they need to keep their hands busy, in my experience, it means they’re… Avoiding something. Or something’s bothering them.”

“Oh… Yeah, I can see that. I’m okay, though. Maybe a little nervous because of how big this is gonna be.” She gestured vaguely. “The last time there were this many people was when you guys came back.”

Bucky winced. “Yeah, that was a little overwhelming, honestly. It’s why when I heard movement in here, I automatically knew why. Didn’t expect it to be just one person, though.”

“I mean, I could have asked for help, but I like to do things on my own sometimes. Plus, like I said, distraction.”

He turned to her again, smile sweet and eyes serious. “If you ever need someone to talk to, you know, besides everyone else here, I’m all ears. Time I return the favor for all you’ve done for me.”

It was her turn to blush. _Okay, can we not?_ “Thank you, Bucky. And know that my office door is always open for you. Even if there’s no bugs to squash, you’re always welcome. Just, again, don’t steal all my melon soda.”

She was rewarded with a hearty laugh that was music to her ears. “I might take that offer up. I don’t know what to do on my short days, so hiding out with some good company might make things less boring.”

“Less boring? Oh boy, if you’re looking for that, maybe my office isn’t the best place to hide out. I do always have some yogurt, though. So you can just use my office as a snacking area.”

“Well, I don’t think I’ll be bored, but the snacking part is enticing.”

She grinned up at him. “Then feel free to stop by anytime, Sergeant Barnes.”

When his grin grew even wider, she bit down on the inside of her cheek a little harder than necessary. _What am I, 17 again?_ _Can I please stop reacting like this?_ “I’ll absolutely take you up on that offer, Miss Halcomb.”

An unknown voice drifted in from the front door, mumbling something unintelligible and drawing Paige and Bucky’s attention away from each other. She instantly recognized Tony when he spoke.

“I’m just—You don’t have to talk at this thing because, quite frankly, I don’t want you to.”

“That’s probably a really good idea,” a second voice said. “I mean, he isn’t actually the captain of the ship. Let me do all the talking.”

“Oh, god,” Bucky mumbled. Paige eyed him curiously. He sure didn’t sound or look even remotely thrilled about whoever it was.

“You really need to stop telling people that. Thor said it one time, and it’s not even true!” The first mystery person sounded as equally unhappy as Bucky did.

The door flung open to reveal a very crabby-looking Tony, who was already dressed in one of his formal suits. Seven other figures followed immediately behind, arguing amongst themselves. 

“I didn’t know the Guardians were coming,” Paige whispered.

“Yeah, neither did I,” Bucky grumbled, barely finishing his sentence before Rocket’s voice resonated through the room.

“Hey! Righty! How about 10,000 units for the arm?”

“Hi, Rocket,” Bucky replied dully. “That’s lower than his last offer,” he muttered under his breath.

“I am Groot.”

Rocket turned sharply to the teenager, who hadn’t looked up from his handheld. “You stay out of this.”

“He’s right, though. Leave him alone,” Gamora commanded. 

Paige found herself smirking. She’d met them a grand total of one time, and that was over holo conference. Even then, it was blatantly obvious who actually called the shots among them. And it wasn’t Rocket or Peter Quill. 

“Sorry, guys. They just got here and they’ve never done one of these press conferences before, so I had to show them where it all goes down,” Tony explained, sounding exasperated. Wasn’t surprising, considering how half of that group gave him migraines. “Do you two need help setting up? I’d love to put them to work.”

Paige and Bucky looked at each other at the same time. She pursed her lips to suppress a smile when she saw the discomfort on his face. He’d mentioned before how Rocket was constantly emailing him about wanting to buy his arm. Ignoring emails was much easier than ignoring a living being. Poor guy. She quickly shrugged and turned back to the group. “No, we’ve got it handled already. Just finished, actually. I can give them a tour of the area, brief rundown and whatnot, if you need to go do something, Tony?”

Relief washed over Tony’s whole being at Paige’s suggestion. “Please, Miss Halcomb.”

She chuckled and turned to Bucky, whispering, “You don’t have to stay around. I’ll keep them occupied.”

“ _Thank you_ ,” he replied just as quietly, eyes twinkling as he squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll see you later.” Paige nodded and tried not to stare too long as he backed away and eventually left the room. _Time to ignore the way my shoulder’s now tingling, too. God, I really am 17 again._

“You still haven’t answered my question! Ow, hey!” Rocket hollered before Gamora nudged him sharply with her boot.

“Rocket.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll just email him again later. Or steal it...”

“ _No_.”

“So, uh, is this the first ever press conference you guys have had?” Paige interrupted, trying to both get them back on track and keep herself from laughing too much. “None up in outer space?”

“Uh, yeah. We don’t really… do that,” Quill confirmed.

Paige nodded and put on her professional demeanor. “Right, okay. Well I think I heard Tony say that you don’t actually have to talk, but that might be a little hard. The media here is, well, insatiable.”

“I think Stark just doesn’t want Quill here talking,” Rocket said, inclining his head behind him. “He’s not the captain.”

“Will you two please stop that?”

Rocket grumbled and took another step away from Gamora before she could kick him again. Her tone left no room for argument, so he didn’t retaliate. 

“Okay, well, the main thing is that you guys are as comfortable as possible.” Paige took a few steps forward so that she didn’t have to talk as loudly. “I mean no offense by this, uh, Star-Lord, but it might be best that you don’t talk. Because it’s very likely that they’ll just want to ask you questions about your abduction and stuff rather than staying on track. And none of us wanna be here longer than we have to.”

Quill’s eyes lit up at the use of “Star-Lord”, then his face twisted in confusion when Paige was done. “Wait, I’m famous here? Why? Not that that’s not awesome or anything, but, like, why?”

“There’s a whole Buzzfeed Unsolved about you. The episode is great, but once the reporters figure out who you are, and they will, things are gonna get, well, noisy.”

“What’s a Buzzfeed?” Mantis asked. Drax nodded, seeming to be just as confused, and Nebula, ever the quiet one, merely watched her with an interested expression.

Paige waved her hands in the air, keeping a sweet smile. “Um, I’ll explain later, I promise. But for right now, who’s the most comfortable with talking to large groups of people?”

* * *

The answer, unsurprisingly enough, ended up being Gamora. The conference went off almost without a hitch. Professionally speaking, anyway. Which was fairly shocking, truthfully. The room was crowded as hell, which in turn made it unusually hot. Even the industrial A/C hadn’t helped. She could see the discomfort on everyone’s face in regards to the physical condition of the space. However, the subjects of the press conference were fascinating enough that nobody seemed to care too much about the heat.

Even though Paige had not been personally informed that the Guardians were going to be present—which Tony had profusely apologized to her for, since it had been so last minute—it was easily handled by the rest of the staff. Gamora was wonderful in briefly explaining who her team was without giving away too much information. Quill fielded a few questions about his past, both on Earth and in space, before Tony and Steve eventually cut them off, diverting the questions to Carol. The answers she gave about her own past and abilities were limited but professional, as expected. She held herself well on stage. 

Paige had been given the basics about her before their in-person meeting, just so she could keep an eye out if anyone started digging too much into it. A lot of stuff she had been involved in was still classified, and the new S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted to keep it that way. Paige’s next few weeks would likely be hectic, but that wasn’t a big shock.

What had been the big shock was when Carol cornered Paige a short time after the media had been dismissed.

“How was that?”

“What… exactly do you mean?” Pagie asked tentatively.

“Every planet is different. And I’ve never had to do one of these things before, even before I got my powers. So I’m not quite sure if what I did was right,” she stated simply. Though Paige sensed a hint of nervousness. 

“Oh! It was great, honestly. It was really good for your first time.”

Paige had been starting to relax, but Carol’s sly smirk immediately made her tense up again. “Is that so?”

“Uh, what I mean is that _that_ ,” she pointed back towards the door they’d just exited from, “can be nerve-wracking for a lot of people, especially when they’re new to the whole thing. Most of the team was pretty rocky the first time they had to speak in front of a camera. Still aren’t that great now, which is totally understandable,” she added with a chuckle. “But you looked like you’d been doing it your whole life. It’s impressive. As are most things I’ve seen you do.”

Carol smiled more fully. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Are you feeling okay, though? Do you want something to drink? Need to go sit and decompress or anything?”

“I should be the one asking you that,” Carol said, voice lowering slightly. “I’ve been told that I may have… scared you this morning.”

Paige blinked. _Scared_ wasn’t really the right word. And who told her that? “What… You didn’t scare me. You’re intimidating in, like, the best way. I mean, you’re the coolest. I was just… awkward. Not much sleep last night didn’t help. So that was my fault we maybe didn’t get off on the right foot.”

Carol snorted, “No, that was my fault then. Sorry. I’m still on edge about being back after so long, and Fury coercing me into doing all this publicly… I didn’t think you were awkward.”

“That makes one of us.” 

“How about we get off on the right foot this time?” She raised an eyebrow, offering her hand. “Carol Danvers.”

Paige took her hand. She felt much more relaxed now. Maybe she hadn’t made as big of a fool of herself as she thought. “Paige Halcomb reporting for duty, ma’am.”

They shared a laugh before their empty stomachs drove them to the spread Tony had prepared. Just in time, too, seeing as the Guardians were already digging in. No telling how much they’d eat if left unchecked. 

Rhodey would later vehemently deny telling Carol, but Paige wasn’t convinced. She didn’t need any help embarrassing herself, so he was definitely going to pay for that. 

* * *

The Friday evening meet and greet, formally and simply titled The Avengers Gala for New York’s Children’s Hospitals, was held at The Grand Ballroom Plaza in Manhattan. Tony usually rented larger penthouse spaces for these things, but this was close to several hospitals, which meant it was easier for patients and staff alike to get to. The planning didn’t usually fall under Paige’s jurisdiction, but she ended up helping out. And for her first official planned gala, she had to admit that it turned out very nicely. The event was catered, but they’d lined the buffet tables on the other side of all the arches, out of the way but easily accessible. A few standing tables had been placed for guests to be able to eat. The center of the hall was clear for the attendees to dance to the jazz band, if they so desired. 

The obvious draw for the patrons there was to meet the Avengers, both old and new, so she and the planners had worked to create escape areas for when certain superheroes needed a breather. Most of the people able to afford the price of admission (and who weren’t invited as honored guests, like the hospital staff and kids) were rich and famous themselves, so the Avengers would definitely need a spot to get away from everything. And there were a lot of patrons. None of this phased Paige anymore, as she’d been to so many of these things over the years. Hell, she’d even met Madonna last year. But she worked daily with the biggest names in the world, so famous people seemed more like normal people to her at this point.

Nobody paid much attention to her, thankfully, so she could flit in and out of groups seamlessly. Sam snatched her away a few times to dance to the more fast paced songs, while Steve and Wanda preferred the slower ones so they didn’t have to move too much. The rest of the team—besides the Guardians and Bruce, who mostly stayed together in their own group or with Thor—either stood next to her for a few minutes at a time or danced only once. Even Carol seemed to find solace in her company. Though she still made Paige a little nervous; the suit looked really good on her.

Paige figured she was their human breather between political figures and the like, which was perfectly fine with her. Being a source of calm for others was one of her favorite things to do. Once her friends had relaxed enough, she’d go back to her preferred spot near the edge of the room where she could peacefully people watch while sipping on her champagne. 

A few times after dancing with Steve, a wealthy-looking guy or two would stop by to ask her to dance. She didn’t really want to, but they had been nice enough when asking. Of course, they never asked to dance again once they learned that she was just a staff member. She had nothing in common with these men, so it wasn’t like she wanted to be in their presence longer than necessary. Their obvious disappointment in who she was didn’t bother Paige in the slightest. But it was for a good cause. So, like the rest of the Avengers, she would grin and bear the interactions, too. Besides, she’d spent almost an hour getting ready and thought she looked good in her sparkly green gown, so she wasn’t going to waste the night being grumpy to people she didn’t know. She was in too good a mood.

So, as at any other mandatory public event, she didn’t pay too much attention to the other guests once they left her sight. No, her attention was firmly rooted on her friends and coworkers, making sure they were all right. She wasn’t looking around and wondering if she’d run into someone special. She didn’t do that anymore. Sure, she occasionally found herself slipping back into old habits. Ones from days when she wished the love of her life would dramatically pop into her life. Nowadays, she didn’t much care. The loves of her life were her family, her friends, herself. Sure, occasionally someone cute would catch her eye when she was out and about normally, leaving her wondering if they’d have some sort of meet-cute or whatever. But it never lasted more than a few short moments. She’d remind herself that they either weren’t interested or weren’t worth her time (the men fell into this category way more often than not, particularly on nights like this). It wasn’t a harsh reminder, and it never made her sad. It just was. The moment would pass, and she’d happily return to the task at hand. 

She figured she’d be okay being single the rest of her life, working at an awesome job and hanging out with the friends and family she loved.

Which is why it came as such a gut-punching surprise when she realized she was developing real, actual romantic feelings for Bucky Barnes.

And it made her just a little bit mad. 

She’d make sure to bury and ignore them until they just went away on their own, but she was still mad she was even having them. 

_He’s a coworker, for Christ’s sake. Didn’t we already learn that’s a bad idea?_

Eventually she was swept away by T’Challa so they could chat on the dance floor. Being the King of Wakanda and working so closely with the Avengers made him a prime target for all the schmoozers. The poor man had difficulty finding a moment to breathe. He wasn’t able to stay in the States long, so Paige was eager to chat with him whenever he could make time. 

She’d pressed him for life updates before he’d had a chance to ask how she was. So of course when asked how she was, she had to recount the morning. Not much else was really going on in her life anyway, besides the usual, and a weekend visit from her best friend. That might bore him too much, she mentally laughed. 

“But now we’re all good, so it’s not like I ruined any chance at a working relationship. Thank god,” she finished. 

T’Challa chuckled, “I think you underestimate your own charm. Even when you think you are being awkward, it’s still cute.”

“Uh huh.”

“And a little bit funny,” he added after a second. He knew he’d been caught. “To be fair, she is intense. I like her, though.”

“Me, too. You know who she reminds me of, though?”

It instantly clicked for T’Challa. “Okoye!”

Paige had said her name at exactly the same time, so they both burst out into laughter. 

“See? If you can make Okoye, who doesn’t actually like a lot of Americans, like you, then you’re doing a lot of things right.”

“Maybe you’re right. I am just a bit overwhelmed with all of the stuff going on that I’m just harping on things that aren’t as bad as I think they are. Being dramatic for the sake of being dramatic and distracting myself, maybe. I dunno.”

He chuckled again. “Well, I think I would almost rather have your kind of drama than what I’ve got going on.”

A light-hearted scoff. “Oh, please. Politics is _fun_ , T’Challa. Running a country is _fun_. Don’t downplay it.”

He frowned playfully at her. “I know you are joking, but your definition of fun is awful.”

Paige opened her mouth to argue, but was cut off by another voice.

“Is he bothering you, ma’am?”

They both turned to find Bucky pointing at T’Challa accusingly. 

Whatever witty reply Paige’s brain had concocted was lost the instant she laid eyes on Bucky. She hadn’t seen him all night, and if this was her reaction, she was damn sure glad it had taken this long. She’d half expected him to be in a traditional black suit and tie. Most of the other men dressed that way, even T’Challa, who had foregone any traditional Wakandan clothes for once. However, that night, Bucky was sporting a navy blue blazer with a white undershirt and matching tie and slacks. It really brought out his bright blue eyes, and Paige’s heart nearly stopped. How was she supposed to react normally when he looked _that_ nice?

Paige cleared her throat after what seemed like an inordinate amount of time. T'Challa had said something in reply, but she completely missed it while she’d been gawking. “He’s fine, nothing I can’t handle.” At least she’d started to gain her composure again.

“Well, I still feel like your evening is in danger of being ruined, so do you mind if I steal you away for a dance, at least?” Bucky sounded a little bit nervous, but Paige figured it was just her mind playing tricks on her. It did that sometimes. 

T’Challa laughed. “And you’re worried about _me_ ruining her evening?”

“Well, if any of these rich bozos haven’t already _ruined my evening_ , then neither of you will. But yes, Bucky, I’d be happy to dance with you.” It was a losing battle, fighting to keep the blood from rushing to her face so much. Good thing it was a little on the warm side and she could just pretend that was the reason. Plus alcohol. 

She hugged T’Challa goodbye in case he ducked out before she was able to find him again, then let Bucky take her in his arms after he’d done the same. She tried not to react too much when he placed his right hand on her waist and held her hand in the air. It was the same way everyone else had been dancing with her, so why should she be reacting any differently?

“Evening, Paige,” he said warmly.

“Evening, Bucky.” She matched his tone. She was happy to have him close, and he sure did smell nice, but it still made her somewhat nervous, too.

“So,” he started, “Stark tells me you had a hand in planning this whole thing?” He looked pointedly around the venue. 

She followed his gaze, then nodded. “Yeah, a little. Mostly just coordinated stuff. Double checking and all that.”

“Well, everything is great and it looks lovely.” His eyes drifted back down to hers. “As do you.”

Why did she find it so hard to just take compliments from him without some sort of playful snark? “Are you still trying to make up for yesterday?”

He laughed nervously again and shook his head lightly. “No, no, I’m not. Rhodey didn’t send me over here, either. I mean it, you look lovely tonight and you did a great job here.”

She laughed and patted the shoulder her hand was resting on. “I’m just teasing. Thank you, Bucky. You look very handsome tonight, too.” Why was her face _so_ hot? And would her heart please calm down? She was sure he could hear it hammering away in her rib cage, enhanced hearing or not. 

It was his turn to blush, apparently. “Thanks. I was a little worried about the suit because Sam actually picked it out, but Wanda and Nat said it looked good. And I trust them.”

Ah, yeah, that’s why she didn’t let herself fall into the trap of romantic feelings. Inevitably, she’d figure out there was someone else they were interested in. It wasn’t as if he’d said any of their names with any extra feeling or anything, but her type always had a different type, so why should this be different? Especially when constantly surrounded by some of the most attractive and interesting people on the planet—and beyond. 

Hence, why she was a little mad at herself. 

Bucky had continued without missing a beat, oblivious to Paige’s thoughts. “I usually wear more… black. Even before the war.” Paige watched curiously as his face turned even redder before he quickly shook it off and smiled back down at her. She swore she felt his hand on her waist twitch, but she couldn’t be totally sure. They were moving in time with the music, after all. “So what’d you mean by ‘these bozos’ earlier?”

“Just that they only dance with me because they think I’m somehow part of the team and they can get an in with me. They’re outwardly nice enough, but it’s real apparent I’m not interesting. At least not as interesting as you guys.”

Another slight blush and a snort followed her wink. “If it’s any consolation, I think you’re interesting. Great company, too. So, they’re missing out.”

It was probably the alcohol that was making her brain go a little woozy at his seemingly genuine compliments. Even if it was just platonic. “Thanks, Bucky. I mean it. But honestly, their opinions don’t matter. So even if they wanted to hang around, I wouldn’t let them.”

“Good.” He seemed surprised by his own words almost, scrunching his nose for a moment before quickly adding, “Have high standards.”

“You ain’t gotta worry about that,” she laughed. Something in his expression piqued her interest, and she was eager to change subjects. “Are you okay? I haven’t seen you all night. And I know these things aren’t really your kind of gig...” She kept her tone soft, but let a little of her actual worry seep into her words.

He blinked, then a kind smile spread slowly across his face. “Yeah, I’m okay. Thankfully, right now anyway, nobody really wants to rub elbows with the former Winter Soldier, so I haven’t had to deal with that too much. Plus, those hide outs Steve told me about?” He clicked his tongue. “Perfect.”

A mixture of a sigh and laugh escaped her throat. “Oh, good. I actually meant to let you know about them earlier, but apparently they did their job. Also, good on Steve.”

“He’s been using them, too, so I would’ve found them eventually.”

She chewed on her lip for a moment while he looked around. “You can also come find me if you need a reprieve from these people. It’s what everyone else does, and you’re welcome to, too.”

“You shouldn’t tell me that because then I won’t ever leave you or Steve alone.”

Bouncing her head from side to side, she considered his statement. “I don’t think that would be such a bad thing.”

He seemed to like that very much. “Careful what you wish for.”

The song ended a moment later, and Paige noticed Steve ushering them over. She was surprised to find Thor standing next to him. Apparently he’d torn himself away from the Guardians. They chatted for a few minutes; mostly, though, Steve ended up talking about his latest training session with Sam and the shield.

It was a very interesting and hilarious story, but despite her best efforts, Paige ended up yawning. And it was a big one. 

“I’m sorry, Paige, are we boring you?” Steve teased, bumping her shoulder.

She held up a hand and chuckled, “No, no, sorry. It’s just been a long day so I’m a little tired.”

“She’s just being nice. You’re boring her to tears, Steve,” Bucky said, lifting his chin.

“Pretty big talk coming from you.”

“You’d know _big talk_ , wouldn’t you?”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just seem to remember a scrawny punk that had trouble keeping his big mouth shut, always getting beat up. Serum didn’t do anything to help that, I see. Still getting your ass handed to you all the time.”

“You know what, Barnes?”

“Guys, if you keep this up, you’re gonna give me a big headache and I won’t get the weekend off,” Paige warned lightly. Though she was really enjoying how happy the two were to be in each other’s company again, this time under good circumstances. 

A large hand rested gently on Paige’s shoulder as Thor said, “No, no, I think I want to see how this will play out. My money’s on the Captain.”

Oh, this could be good. Paige smirked. “Oh, well, if there’s money involved, I’m in. It wouldn’t be _that_ much trouble for me to work this weekend…”

Thor crossed his arms and nodded at her. “All right, who do you have?”

Paige studied the two super soldiers as they sized each other up. “To make this interesting… Steve, you know I love you, but I think I’m gonna take Bucky on this. If what I’ve been told is true, Bucky’s already kicked your ass a couple times in this century.”

There was now a wicked grin plastered on Bucky’s face. Steve, on the other hand, did not like this. 

“Paige, that hurts,” Steve pouted. He placed his hand over his heart for added effect.

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Prove me wrong. You are The Man with a Plan, after all.”

Thor’s bellowing laughter and Steve’s annoyed groan caused several guests to look their way, but Paige didn’t mind. This was way too good. She almost missed the way Bucky’s eyes lingered on her for a little too long as he laughed, hand clasped over Steve’s shoulder. 

“Okay, I think I’ve had enough of being the butt of everyone’s jokes. I’m gonna head home now,” Steve said, but when he turned to walk away, Paige reached out and tugged at his sleeve. 

“No, no, I’m gonna leave. I’m tired anyway. You guys stay,” she laughed. “I’ll go call my Uber now.” She started towards the front coat rack, but was stopped when Bucky spoke up.

“An Uber? How come?”

It sounded as though he took offense to the idea of her leaving in one. Paige tilted her head at him—as did the other two—and asked, “I knew I was gonna drink so I didn’t drive here. It’s fine, really.”

Bucky shrugged. “Yeah, well, I was thinking of ditching early anyway, so if you wanna save some of that money for your bet, I can take you home.”

She cast him a sweet smile. “Bucky, I don’t wanna make you go out of your way. My apartment’s in Brooklyn, the opposite direction of the compound.”

“Even better. It’s been a while since I’ve been there. I don’t mind, really.”

“I can hitch a ride back with Nat, so I think that’s a good idea, Buck. Make sure she gets home safely,” Steve added helpfully. 

“Ah, yes, excellent idea.” Thor clapped his hands together. “I would offer my services, but I don’t think you’d enjoy the bifrost after drinking. Probably not normally, either, actually. I’ve had a few complaints...”

The champagne had already caused her face to be more flush than usual, and the sudden attention hadn’t done anything to help that. “Well, if you’re insisting… Sure, why not?” she finally relented. “I’ll go get my stuff, then.”

Steve held out his arms to give her a hug, and Thor did the same. They exchanged a few “good night”s, along with a promise to settle the bet Monday morning. 

Tony had offered his extensive collection of cars for the team to use whenever, some of them self-driving. Bucky had opted for one of the older models, and Paige was thankful. The newer ones that she’d ridden in were uncomfortable at best. Nice, but uncomfortable. And too flashy. She’d reached her limit on unwanted attention for the week. 

“Thank you very much, Bucky,” she said once they were on the road. “I don’t do Uber’s often, and taxis are… Well, I don’t like them much either. They’re both so awkward. It’s nice to have familiar company.”

“It’s no problem at all. I’m just really glad for the excuse of leaving early. I don’t think I’ll ever truly enjoy these things.”

“Yeah, the fanfare of it all isn’t my favorite aspect, but it’s for a good cause, as they always are. So that’s nice. And seeing everyone dress so nicely is a definite plus.”

“Agreed.”

Unsure how to continue the conversation, she pulled at her lower lip with her thumb and index finger. She didn’t want any uncomfortable silence to fall between them and make things awkward. Too much of that lately. Additionally, even though she hadn’t had that much, alcohol often made her even more talkative. She turned over a few conversation starters in her head before she finally latched onto something he’d said earlier.

“So, when was the last time you were in Brooklyn, if you don’t mind me asking? And you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.”

She caught his ghost of a smile in her periphery. “Right before the war. I’ve been in New York since then, but never Brooklyn. I miss it,” he added quietly.

“Well, since I live here, if you ever wanna visit, feel free to stop by for some lunch or something… I can show you around—or you can show me. A lot’s changed, but you grew up here, so you’ll probably know the area better than me, truthfully.”

They pulled up to a stoplight, so he took the opportunity to turn his attention fully to her, smiling brightly. “That actually sounds like a great idea. You can show me your favorite spots, and I can be an old man and reminisce about what’s changed.”

“Absolutely!” She flashed him a toothy grin. “I love hearing people’s stories. And I’m sure you have a helluva lot of embarrassing Steve stories, too.”

He laughed and turned back to the road as the light turned green. “I have plenty of those, believe me.”

“Great!” She finally tore her eyes away from his face. It was hard not to stare, what with the way the streetlights danced off his features almost ethereally. She went back to worrying her lip with her fingers, pushing several thoughts back down. “Just let me know whenever you want to.”

His hum of acknowledgement and drumming of his fingers on the steering wheel were the only noise in the car for a few moments until he broke the silence. “What about next weekend? We don’t have another one of these events, right?”

“Right. That works for me. Saturday or Sunday? I would offer Friday evening, but season 3 of _Stranger Things_ is dropping on Netflix and I’m gonna spend the whole night binging it.”

“Sam told me about that one. It sounds interesting. I don’t think I’ll get all the references, and he’ll just be mean the whole time if I watch it with him.”

A night in with Bucky? Golden opportunity she wasn’t going to pass up. “You could come over after work and watch it with me? I won’t make fun of you.”

His eyes seemed to light up at that. “Yeah, if you don’t mind me intruding on your night?”

She chuckled, “Bucky, you’re never intruding. Drop by anytime, and I mean that.”

“Thank you, Paige.” There was so much meaning in his voice that Paige’s heart leapt into her throat. She worked to quickly get it back into position, mentally wrestling with herself about keeping emotions in check. _He’s thankful for an invitation to be friends, that’s all._

It wasn’t long before they arrived at her apartment. Bucky walked her up to her floor despite Paige’s protests that he should get home and rest, too. He claimed that Steve and his ma would have killed him for not following through on making sure she got back safely. She relented and asked him to text her when he got back too, then they parted for the evening.

Even though Paige loved her job and her coworkers, she found herself surprisingly more impatient than normal for Monday to come, and it wasn’t just because that was Donut Day. Or because of that bet she and Thor had made.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that I haven't made this clear in the actual story, but Paige is plus-sized. It comes into play later, so...   
> She can also be considered a reader-insert if you wanna read her that way because I don't describe her appearance that much really. I mean, I do, but not a lot. 
> 
> Also, I'm a sucker for bi Bucky so he's always bi in my stories. ;)

**Early April**

Bucky remembered a good chunk of his time before the war now. At least what a normal person would remember, maybe more. The Wakandan tech could be used to help a lot of those with dementia, PTSD, and general memory loss issues whenever they decided to release that to the world, he’d told Shuri. She’d given him a knowing look before returning to the holographic map of his brain and muttering something about evil uses, too. Bucky clammed up after that, instead choosing to focus on the new memory that had popped up that afternoon. 

Many of his date nights out weren’t exactly spent for his own benefit. Or for Steve’s. The 30’s and 40’s weren’t as friendly towards members of the LGBT community as present day, so Bucky did what he thought was the right thing to do. He’d earned himself enough of a reputation that even if Steve didn’t tag along, it wasn’t odd to see James Barnes out with two girls (even if they barely paid attention to  _ him _ the whole time). Sometimes, he’d have other guys with him under the guise of a double or triple date, too. He’d escort the couples back to their chosen apartments whenever they were ready, and he’d go home alone, happy that he was able to provide a fun night out in the public for people who may have been worried about unkind looks—or other worse things. If he’d come back from the war under normal circumstances, he would have certainly helped Becca out, too. Even she had ended up not needing it.

It was always a fun time, those particular nights, and he liked doing his part. Truth be told, he really missed it. Modern day entertainment was great in its own right, and he was glad the world was more accepting than it used to be, but every now and then, he’d get really nostalgic and hope those couples had lived full, happy lives.

He sure hoped they did. They deserved it. 

So it really shouldn’t have surprised him to see one of his friends giving off the classic signs of attraction when meeting Carol for the first time. And it didn’t. And he couldn’t blame her. But it did cause this strange sensation of butterflies in his stomach. This hadn’t ever happened before, so why was he getting them now?

Why was this time different?

Maybe it was because she was out with him and only him on the now semi-unfamiliar streets of Brooklyn, under no pretense to need cover for finding a date. Maybe it was because he’d heard her heart skip a beat multiple times at the gala, and then again when they’d spent the evening watching  _ Stranger Things _ (from the beginning, which Bucky still felt bad about keeping her from her wanted binge session despite her protests that it was perfectly fine), giving him the classic signs of attraction. Towards  _ himself _ . Maybe it was because he was finding it harder to pass these little details off as that he made her nervous; he’d never made her nervous, never heard or seen things in her expression to indicate anything of the sort. The only exception being when he’d had that moment in her office. Maybe it was because he was starting to feel the same things.

Oh?

Oh.

Wait...

He blinked.

“You okay, Buck?”

Another blink, then he looked down at her. Her head was tilted curiously, and she’d stopped walking. “Yeah, sorry. Just got lost in some memories.”

She smiled sweetly up at him and bumped his shoulder with her own lightly. “Good ones, I hope?”

He mirrored her smile and chuckled, looking around. A similar problem had arisen at the gala; he couldn’t just spend all night staring at her big doe eyes, her cute, faintly rosy cheeks, or her little button nose. It wouldn’t help him figure out exactly what the hell he was actually feeling. And the thought of talking about this to someone else was nauseating, but he didn’t exactly know why. 

“Yeah, good ones.” He cleared his throat and pointed to a Starbucks across the street. “That used to be an antiques shop. Steve tried to work there one summer, but one day around all that dust made his asthma act up something bad.” Another chuckle, then, “So he ended up working the ticket counter at the movies a couple blocks down.”

Turning back towards the road ahead of them, she laughed, “Yeah, that sounds miserable either way.”

“It was, for sure. I didn’t even get free tickets out of it!”

They began walking again, staying mostly in the darker parts of the street. She’d been the one to suggest going out on Friday night rather than Saturday morning; it was harder to be spotted by potential fans. Which was true, but he was surprised that she’d suggested it before he even thought about it. She’d been taking extra steps to make sure he was comfortable and as anonymous as he wanted, and he was ever so appreciative. 

“I wonder if that theater is still there?” Paige mused.

“It’s not far away. I can take you there, if you’d like?”

“Absolutely.” That seemed to be one of her favorite words. “Lead the way, Sergeant Barnes.”

_ Different, different, different _ , he reminded himself. The way she said his name. Not like his own dates way back when. And yet…

She was different. At least from everyone else he’d met in the 21st Century so far. Physically, emotionally, everything. Not in that “Not Like Other Girls” way he’d seen men talk his entire life. That had always made him cringe. Life’s not a competition. 

No, no, more like… She was just normal. She’d led a fairly normal life, whereas he and the rest of his friends had decidedly not. Yet, he was so drawn to her. It wasn’t like they were totally unalike. As it turns out, they had a lot of similar interests and tastes. One particularly long discussion in the first floor kitchen, which also included Steve, had Nat rolling her eyes in an overly dramatic, but fond, fashion while calling them “a bunch of nerds.” Which just made Paige laugh, saying that she fully embraced her nerdiness, and that Nat was one to talk. 

So despite her differences and lack of traumatic life experiences that seemed to be a requirement to be friends with the Avengers, she fit right in. She was just… Paige. And he liked it. Liked her.

Did he  _ like _ her? Like _ that _ ?

_ It’s definitely looking that way.  _

He shook his head. There was time to get lost in his own head later.  _ Enjoy the present. _ And he did, chatting lightly about Bucky’s summer jobs and how much Steve hated the theater. Paige was privy to the life of retail; she’d worked it all throughout high school and college. She landed an entry level position at Stark Industries shortly after graduating from South Carolina, where she’d quickly worked her way up the ladder. She was glad for the experience, but she shared Bucky’s sentiments in never wanting to go back. And if he had any say in the matter, neither of them would go back.

The theater was still there. Fully renovated and modernized and with a different name, but still there. He smiled and pulled out his phone, snapped a picture, and set a quick text to Steve.

**You still owe me tix, punk**

When he finally looked back up while pocketing his phone again, he found Paige smiling gently at him. “What?”

“I’m gonna guess you just sent that picture to Steve, right?”

Guess he was that obvious. Which is what he asked her.

“Yeah, kinda.” She nodded towards the theater. “Anything you wanna see? Or do you wanna keep walking around? I’m up for... whatever.” 

She finished the sentence in a silly, unidentifiable accent and was having trouble not smiling at herself. It was cute, but confusing. Bucky filed that away for later. “Uh, I mean…” There wasn’t really anything interesting playing. 

Sensing his hesitation, she shrugged. “We don’t have to. Netflix is still an option. I have been meaning to watch  _ A Wrinkle In Time _ .” She suddenly sighed dreamily and looked off into the middle distance. “Chris Pine is so dreamy.” 

Bucky scrunched his nose. He was down for whatever she picked, since they had similar tastes, but maybe not when she made  _ that _ face. 

_ Where did that come from? _

She looked back at him and her face dropped. “Oh, uh, it’s a Disney movie too. I heard it’s cute. About space and time travel, I think. At least the space travel part I know is true. I never read the book. But we can pick something else, if you want. There’s tons of stuff on Netflix, and I have some Blu Rays, too.”

_ Shit. She saw.  _

“I feel like if I watch something Disney without Steve, he’s gonna kill me.” 

_ Nice save. _

A laugh from her relaxed his shoulders a bit. “I mean, you’re probably not wrong. We’ll save that for another time, then. Whatcha wanna do, Bucky?”

He contemplated his options for a few moments. They’d been walking downtown for quite some time. There were no overwhelming rushes of memories, just little ones, like the one of the old antique shop and movie theater, and that time he’d taken his sisters to the botanical gardens. It’d been really nice, swapping stories. And even though the temperature was just reaching that perfect point, it was almost 8:30. He didn’t want to keep her out too late; she’d start to crash soon. 

“We could go back to your place and watch more  _ Stranger Things _ ?” He refused to tell her that he’d already caught up. There were still references that he didn’t get, and it’d be easier for her to explain them when he wasn’t trying to pay too much attention to the plot. Not that he couldn’t look them up himself...

Usually, splitting his attention wasn’t that difficult. But he was starting to realize that things may not always be normal when she was involved, no matter how  _ normal _ he thought she was. Maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.

“Yeah, sure! We’re actually not far from my place, so thankfully, no cabs. And—oh!” She snapped her fingers and looked downright gleeful. “I actually made some cookies last night. I meant to bring them to the office today, but I was running late—again—and forgot them. So I guess you can have as many as you want.”

Bucky laughed as they started towards her place. “I will never refuse cookies. But,” he pointed a finger at her, “you should know that I’ll probably just end up eating them all.”

“Super soldier appetite and all, I know.”

Bucky inclined his head. “Well, even before the serum, I was a cookie fiend.”

“And now it’s just worse, huh?” She laughed, serving to widen Bucky’s grin, waving a hand dismissively. “No matter. They’re easy to make. Guess I should start making four batches: one each for you, Steve, and Peter, and one for everyone else. Five if Thor’s gonna be there.”

“I think he might be worse than me.”

“And even if he isn’t normally, he’ll still probably make it a competition. I think he’s still bitter about losing that bet.”

Bucky howled at that. “He’s such a sore loser. Almost worse than Steve, I’d venture to say.”

“You know, Steve was still grumbling  _ yesterday _ about how you supposedly cheated.”

“What a child.” He shook his head fondly. “Not my fault he got distracted.”

She turned to him with a twinkle in her eyes. “What did you tell him, anyway? I may need to distract him in the future.”

“I asked him why he hasn’t had a proper date since he unfroze, maybe insinuated the serum hadn’t enhanced  _ everything _ .”

Now she was howling, head thrown back and reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. “Bucky, that’s mean! And it  _ is _ your fault he got distracted!”

“Maybe. A win’s a win, though.” He leaned ever so slightly into her touch, and when she didn’t pull back—likely too busy laughing to really notice—he beamed even more.

“True. You’re incorrigible, but I love it. Keep doing it, please.”

“Well, with your permission, I’m definitely going to keep giving him shit.”

He could really get used to this, the easiness between them. How good it felt to be in her company. And if he ended up deciding that maybe he did have feelings for her, it wouldn’t matter. Well, it would, but he’d be content staying friends for the rest of time if she didn’t feel the same. 

He’d be up for…  _ whatever _ .

* * *

**Mid-April**

Sam Wilson was going to have a heart attack. This was not something he ever wanted to hear coming from Paige’s office. Or any office, really. But especially not hers.

“Harder, Bucky.”

“I’m pushing as hard as I can.”

“You’re a super soldier, I know you can push harder than that.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you!”

“You’re not gonna hurt me! Just do it.”

“Fine—”

“Ow!”

“See? I’m sorry—”

“No, that was because you caught my hair. Keep going.”

Sam couldn’t take it anymore. As much as he didn’t want to walk in on them going at it, he had to see this and make sure Bucky wasn’t hurting Paige. 

Apparently, they hadn’t need as much of a push as he thought they might. This was good.

But not while they were both supposed to be at work.

“Okay, Bucky, you hurt her and I’m going to kill… you...” Sam trailed off when he finally saw what was going on. 

They were both fully clothed. Paige was sitting at her desk, but she was sideways so that Bucky could reach her back better. One of his hands was on her shoulder, while the other one was hovering in the air away from where he’d presumably caught her hair on accident. 

“What the hell is going on?” Sam asked, baffled.

“I’ve got this kink in my upper back and Bucky’s trying to work it out,” Paige said innocently. 

Sam bit back the obvious joke.

Bucky scrunched his face. “Why are you going to kill me?”

“I heard…” He pointed at the hall, then back at them. “You said you didn’t wanna hurt her…”

Both of their faces went bright red, and they stumbled over words worse than what Sam did. He held up a hand to silence them, but Bucky kept talking.

“If I press too hard, I might make it worse, and she doesn’t understand that—“

“Barnes, Jesus. I know. Paige, you could go see someone in the Med Bay. That’s what they’re there for.”

She sighed and looked almost disappointed when Bucky’s hands fell away. “I know. But Bucky was already here so I figured I’d save myself the trip. Although I might need to go now, since he won’t do what I ask.”

Bucky shot her a look. “Hey, I said I don’t wanna hurt you. Even by accident.”

“I know. But you also know what you’re doing, so I trust you.”

Sam had had it up to here with the tension that was obviously building up between the two. “Okay, look, we can have the meeting later after you go get yourself looked at. I’m sure as hell in no rush.” He knew this was about setting up a press conference later in the day to go over yesterday’s mission. Sam hated those, so the longer he could avoid setting them up, the better. But he wasn’t really sure why Bucky was already in the office. Sam had led the mission, and usually he was the one who had to set up the press conference. Then his team would get the details and they’d go from there.

Paige couldn’t find a valid reason to not go, so she grumbled, “Fine. I’ll be back soon, so just hang out here,” and left. When she was gone, Sam turned to Bucky and just looked at him.

“What?”

“You know what massages usually lead to, right?”

Bucky was an even brighter shade of red than before. And now very angry. “ _ Sam! _ What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Sam just gave him another look. “I’m not an idiot. I know what I’m seeing.”

“Both of the things you said are wrong, Wilson. Especially the part about not being an idiot.” Bucky was very testy, and Sam was loving it. 

“You wouldn’t get so defensive if I was wrong.”

Bucky opened his mouth to argue, but he suddenly clamped it shut. Sam followed his gaze to the door and found Wanda walking in, pulling out her earphones.

“Good morning!” she greeted cheerily. 

Sam cast Bucky a look that said  _ we’re not done with this conversation _ . 

Bucky’s eye twitched at the corner in response, and he turned back to Wanda. “Morning, Wanda. Are you here for the briefing, too?”

She’d been too busy rolling up her headphones to notice their exchange. “Yeah, unfortunately. At least there were no screw ups this time.”

“Still doesn’t make me like doing these things.” Sam crossed his arms. Apparently Paige wanted them all here for this particular session.

“I don’t like them either.” She looked around for a moment and nodded to the empty desk. “Where’s Paige?”

“Med bay. She’s having some back pain that needed attention,” Sam explained simply. 

“Should be back soon, though,” Bucky added, tugging at his jacket zipper. 

This time, Wanda caught Sam’s glance at Bucky. She thought about taking a quick look in their minds, then immediately decided she didn’t want to see whatever it was they were hiding. It was was more likely than not that she’d regret it. “Does she still have that yogurt in her fridge?”

Bucky made a nonchalant motion at the mini fridge in the corner. “Yeah, help yourself to whatever’s in there.” He added quickly, “That’s what she tells me all the time.”

Sam made a face, followed by a soft  _ hmm _ ; she’d told him that plenty of times before, but he didn’t say that out loud. Not when he could make Bucky even more uncomfortable. He’d never pass up that opportunity. 

Bucky cleared his throat and fiddled with his jacket zipper even more. Sam was enjoying this  _ a lot _ . He’d have more fun if Wanda wasn’t here, but... he might wind up with a bloody nose again. It’d be totally worth it, though. “I haven’t seen Vision in a few days. How’s he doing?” Bucky asked after a moment.

That successfully distracted Wanda enough that she didn’t look too much into just how fidgety he was being. Sam noted how useful that was and filed it away for himself. They idly chatted (and Sam still found it adorable how easily Wanda talked about Vision) until Paige finally showed back up, looking more at ease. However, Bucky was now more tense than before. 

Huh. Sam wondered exactly how in love he was with her. And, it looked like he would actually have to push them after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm just like spamming these chapters but I have most of the story written and up on ff.net, so I figured I'd post everything I have on here (because I stupidly realized I haven't done that already lmao).
> 
> This chapter's a lil cheesy but whatever.

**Late April**

Paige had no idea  _ why _ the universe had decided to come together to bring Bucky, Wanda, and Carol into her apartment on a Saturday night, but she wasn’t really complaining. 

It had started out with Carol unexpectedly showing up on earth for something with someone named Maria (Paige wasn’t so sure who that was but didn’t press too much; Carol would tell her if she wanted) but stopped by a few days early at Tony’s request. Something about team bonding or whatever, Carol didn’t remember exactly why. Then, she’d ended up chatting with Paige in her office, where Wanda was already hiding out to avoid that one love struck agent that wouldn’t leave her alone. Because of course he wouldn’t take the hint that Wanda was definitely taken and definitely not interested. So Paige suggested that, since she had all the ingredients already for one of her favorite dishes, why don’t they come over and watch movies Saturday? 

They’d readily agreed, then been startled when Bucky announced his presence and pouted—honest to god  _ pouted— _ when he realized he hadn’t been invited. Paige almost threw up on the spot because of just how cute he’d looked. But she regained her composure when Carol mentioned she wouldn’t mind, to which Wanda had agreed. 

Now, Carol was with Wanda in her living room on the couch talking about one of the various planets she’d been on while Paige and Bucky were cooking in the kitchen. He had insisted on helping out and learning how to cook this particular dish.  _ “It’s gotta be good if you love it so much,” _ he’d said. Paige pushed away her initial thought and settled on the fact that, yeah, they liked a lot of the same foods. Nothing else. She was still struggling to cover up any non-platonic feelings that occasionally welled up. It wasn’t worth the eventual disappointment she’d face if she let herself hope for too long. That didn’t stop her from dressing in one of her nicer tops, even though everyone else was just in tees and jeans. There was never a bad time to look and feel good, right? Especially when surrounded by such attractive people. And one of those attractive people seemed to be looking at her a bit more than normal. 

_ Vindication _ . 

Despite being a simple meal, it did have several long steps, so she’d put on some music while she walked Bucky through the recipe. He occasionally asked what a certain song was, writing it in the notes app on his phone. It made her feel good that he liked a lot of the same songs, felt like she had good taste. Surprisingly, he seemed more into hip-hop than other modern music. Might have had something to do with the time he’d spent with Shuri.

“There really is more to you than meets the eye, huh?” she asked slyly as he tapped away.

He peeked up at her and slid his phone back into his pocket, smirking. “Are you callin’ me a Transformer?”

She grinned. He was a fan of those movies, but only for the giant robot part of it. Yet another thing they had in common. “Maybe. Can you chop these, too? Thank you!” She handed him the green onions and smiled again when she heard Wanda’s trill at whatever Carol was saying. 

A hum of acknowledgement and he began chopping again. “Where’d you learn this recipe?”

“Internet. Wasn’t even looking for it,” she shrugged. “Suppose those kind of surprises are the best, huh?”

He squinted and slowed his chopping briefly, side-eyeing her curiously. “Yeah, guess so.”

They worked in silence for a few moments before a different song started up. “Oh, I love this one,” Paige muttered as she began to sing softly along, not looking up from where she was seasoning the meat.

_ In your eyes, there's a heavy blue _

_ One to love and one to lose _

_ Sweet divide, a heavy truth _

_ Water or wine, don't make me choose _

Bucky listened intently, both to her voice and the lyrics. Whenever she said she loved something, he was sure to pay attention to why. He told himself it was because she was more in tune with modern culture than he was, and he just wanted to understand more. 

Obviously it was a lie, but that didn’t mean he was going to stop trying to convince himself.

The melody was soft and soothing, and the singer’s voice was nice. He could see why she liked it.

_ I wanna feel the way that we did that summer night (night) _

_ Drunk on a feeling, alone with the stars in the sky _

It was easy to distinguish between the singer’s own voice and Paige’s. However, it did surprise him how well she was blending into the song, even though it was higher than her normal timbre. Which he liked; kind of like Nat’s voice, but just shy of the same huskiness. It was nice.

Paige was no Ella Fitzgerald (even after all this time, Bucky still thought she was the best professional singer he had ever or would ever hear), but that really didn’t matter. He loved listening to her sing. Probably could listen to her the rest of the night. It’d be a win-win: she could show him her favorite songs, and he’d get to learn new music and revel in her presence, maybe even show her some of his old favorites. Those had to be on the internet, right? 

Another night, maybe. Unless Carol and Wanda wanted to join in.

_ I've been running through the jungle _

_ I've been running with the wolves _

_ To get to you, to get to you _

_ I've been down the darkest alleys _

_ Saw the dark side of the moon _

_ To get to you, to get to you _

_ I've looked for love in every stranger _

_ Took too much to ease the anger _

_ All for you, yeah, all for you _

_ I've been running through the jungle _

_ I've been crying with the wolves _

_ To get to you, to get to you (oh to get to you) _

It took Bucky a moment to realize exactly why his body had stopped moving, why his brain had briefly stopped working. Then it clicked. The lyrics themselves mixed with the way Paige was singing them struck a chord in him. He watched her carefully for any signs she’d seen the way his breathing had become  _ weird _ . She didn’t seem to notice, too busy tucking the spices back into their homes, still singing along.

_ Your fingertips trace my skin _

_ To places I have never been _

_ Blindly I am following _

_ Break down these walls and come on in _

Realization seemed to finally hit Paige, and she blushed and cleared her throat delicately. Which only caused Bucky to blush. Luckily, before he could get too awkward, Carol’s guffaw cut in and eased some of the tension that had unknowingly settled between them. 

“These good to go?” he asked, motioning towards the green onions.

That drew Paige’s attention back to him, and she nodded, then said, “Yeah, they go in next, thanks.” She mentally rolled her eyes at herself for being so ridiculous before taking a step to the side so Bucky could dump his plate into the pan. “Thank you.”

He looked up at her and smiled. “You don’t have to keep thanking me every five seconds. I’m doing this because I want to.”

Simple words, but his voice made her heart lurch. There was something behind the words, behind his eyes, that forced a wide, involuntary smile to play out across her lips. Thankfully, another song started up, pulling Paige’s attention away from his eyes. She could get lost in that ocean of blue.  _ Really wish he’d just wear sunglasses all the time. _ “I love this one, too.”

Bucky nodded. “I’ve heard this one before. I like it, too. Called ‘Sunflower,’ right?”

“Yep! Kinda sad but it’s just… Mmmm. So good.” She started bobbing her head back and forth, singing along with this one, too. 

Bucky watched her fondly for a moment. He’d already planned on adding this to his own phone, but her approval sealed the deal for good. Eventually, he tore his eyes away from her and tried to focus on washing the dishes that had started to pile up in the sink. The less he watched her, the more his heart would hopefully settle back to normal.

“I’d probably have this on one of those make-out playlists people to make all the time,” she chuckled. When she finally noticed Bucky’s hands had stilled again, blood instantly rushed to her cheeks.  _ Maybe he took that the wrong way? Shit. Why do I say things? _

Bucky tilted his head slightly towards her. “People have those?” He shouldn’t be surprised, really, but he had to say something so that he wasn’t just clinging to _ that _ thought for the rest of the night.

“So I’ve been told. It’s a nice idea, but I don’t know that I’d have more than like… one or two songs on there. Most of my favorites wouldn’t fall into that category.” 

“And what are your favorites?”

A breathy chuckle was the only answer she could muster at first, too distracted by pulling the meat she’d accidentally spilled onto the stove top back into the pan. “Mostly rock and alternative. I do like pop, too but some of the newer stuff isn’t my favorite.” She made a face. “Isn’t that how it always goes, though?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he laughed. “Steve still only listens to old records.”

“Why is that not surprising?”

She hadn’t meant for this to turn into a long string of love songs, but the shuffle feature can be ruthless. She grabbed the phone, trying to be as cool as she could so as not to arouse suspicion, as another song she definitely didn’t need to be listening to in present company started up. She scrolled for a moment and settled on a more neutral song.

_ The stage is set for my people, yeah _

_ Coming back like a sequel, yeah _

_ So hot I'm a fever, yeah _

_ Like the white wolf I'm gonna make you a believer, yeah _

At the mention of the  _ white wolf _ , Paige tilted her head to look at Bucky and winked playfully. And Bucky’s brain blew a fuse. He laughed and shook his head, but that was all he could manage at that moment. More than likely, she was just trying to get the normal joking atmosphere back, and it objectively was amusing, but Bucky couldn’t get his heart to stop beating so furiously. Why? She was just being herself.

And then it hit him.

_ Oh, God. I _ **_do_ ** _ love her. _

_ Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. _

She dumped the water chestnuts she’d been dicing into the pan. “Just gotta let these soften up, and it’s done,” she called over her shoulder for her other guests’ benefit.

“Sweet! It smells awesome, Paige,” Carol said, propping herself up a little further on the back of the couch so she could see into the kitchen better.

“Hopefully Bucky didn’t ruin it too much,” Wanda teased with a sly smirk.

He’d been so caught up in his startling epiphany that he hadn’t moved a muscle. It really shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it did, but still… It was going to be so much harder now that he knew what he was feeling.  _ You are royally fucked, Barnes. _

Luckily, Wanda’s jab seemed to snap him back into reality as he whirled to cast an annoyed look at her. “I’m actually a pretty decent cook, I’ll have you know.” Later, when he was alone, or at least not surrounded by someone who could read minds if she wanted, he’d mull over what the hell he was supposed to do with himself now.

“You’re probably better than Vision, I’ll give you that. But it’s not saying much, considering he literally has no sense of taste.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow at her, poised to say something snarky about Vision’s  _ taste _ . Wanda would have probably found it funny; they poked fun at each other all the time. However, he didn’t get to say it since Paige interrupted.

“In food, anyway.” She cast him a pointed look. “He has great taste in people.”

“Well, you can probably count me in with Vision,” Carol sighed. “I’ve never been a good cook. Maria always did—does the cooking. I’d just burn the house down, so I clean up.”

“What do you do when you’re out there?” Wanda lifted her head towards the sky.

“They do have restaurants on other planets, you know.” Carol was snarky as all get out. As usual.

“Yeah, okay, I deserved that.”

“You know what else they have in space?”

“More smartasses, I’m guessing?”

A few more light-hearted jabs at each other that had everyone laughing, then Paige plucked one of the water chestnuts out of the pan and took a bite. “Perfect,” she muttered, then louder, “It’s ready.”

She was nearly run over when Wanda and Carol raced into the kitchen, giggling and shoving each other out of the way. They even nearly knocked Bucky off balance while he was pulling down the plates from the cabinet. He was able to nimbly step out of their path and managed to gently pull Paige out of the way and into his chest, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

Paige gasped when she realized where she was, but didn’t immediately move. She wasn’t sure if he’d done it on purpose (looking directly at his face was an awful idea), and she didn’t want to send the wrong message that he’d rudely invaded her personal space or anything. Even though he didn’t seem to mind, keeping his hand lightly on her arm and chuckling as well. But she couldn’t stay long. Once the other women had moved out of the way enough, she reluctantly peeled her back off his chest and away from his way-too-warm presence, grabbing a plate and still laughing lightly. She kept her head down until she sat at the table, fearing that her face would give too much away. Her guests were far too perceptive for their own good. 

“I tried to make enough for a super soldier’s appetite and some extra company, so you guys didn’t have to fight over it,” she laughed when she sat down. 

Carol shrugged. “Nothing wrong with a little healthy competition, Paige,” she stated, mouth full and still hunched over her plate.

“Is that how you eat on other planets? Is this normal?” Wanda asked incredulously, nose scrunched. 

Carol shrugged again and shot her a cheeky grin, laughing when Wanda’s face twisted with more disgust. “Depends on where you are. This is just so good, I can’t help myself. Good job, Paige.”

“Just following the recipe,” she said simply before nodding at Bucky. “He helped, too.”

“Which is why I’m surprised it’s still so good,” Wanda cut in.

“Hey!” Bucky gaped.

“Is his cooking really that bad?” Carol asked, looking directly at Paige.

A laugh, then a playful glare at Wanda. “No, he’s pretty good. Wanda’s just being mean.”

“I grew up with three sisters! H.Y.D.R.A. took away a lot of things, but they didn’t take  _ that  _ skill away.” He’d been learning that it was okay to talk freely and openly about his past; it didn’t hurt as much as it used to. None of the people he surrounded himself with were going to judge, and, he realized as he looked around the table at the suddenly very empathetic faces, many had been through similar things. So he wasn’t alone. 

_ Whoops. Maybe shouldn’t have gone that dark. _

Carol sighed, decidedly less cheery than she had been moments ago. “Well, the Kree certainly didn’t teach me anything useful except how to fight. No room for cooking lessons when you’re trying to take over the universe.”

Wanda swallowed, adding, “Everything’s about efficiency and control with beings like them. Take away what makes us individuals. Not that much of my childhood was normal anyway, but von Strucker didn’t care about anything but destroying the Avengers and getting his way.” 

Paige listened quietly as they shared for a while, chewing slowly on her food. It was a weird feeling in her chest, something like a mixture of reverence and sorrow for everything they had been through. By all logic, they shouldn’t have survived. Yet, here they were, sitting around her dinner table in a very unplanned group therapy session. They were their own person again, each unique and strong and  _ kind _ . Doing what they felt was right. To prevent the same horrors from happening to other people. And she would do what she could as their friend to help them continue feeling like themselves, let them know that they were loved and valued. Not just because they were super powered beings, but because they were who they were. 

There was a slight lull as Wanda had finished talking about having a good support system where Paige could say something that had been on her mind a lot as of late. “H.Y.D.R.A.—and the Kree—have spent so much time taking things away from people that I think one of the best things to do, for both yourself and as a big middle finger to them, is to maybe get some sort of hobby, some skill, that makes  _ you _ happy, not because it’ll be useful to them. Because God and every other deity know that the thing they hate most is other people’s happiness. And I think you all deserve every ounce of happiness you can squeeze from the universe. And if there’s anything I can do to help, I’m more than willing.” 

_ Fucking hell _ , Bucky’s heart felt like it was going to explode in his chest. How was he so lucky to have someone like this in his life? Who looked at him like he’d never done anything wrong in his life? Who just wanted people to be happy, no matter what they’d done? Who just cared so much?

No wonder he was in love. 

“We’re all already just one big walking Fuck You to the people who tried to control us.” Carol shoved her spoon in her mouth and nodded. “Why not try to make it the biggest Fuck You we possibly can?” 

“Why not?” Wanda agreed. “Makes it harder for them if they try to control us again.”

“Not that we’ll let them,” Carol added, very serious. All eyes drifted towards Bucky, who was, obviously, the most susceptible out of all of them, even if his mind was his own again and the words were gone. And he knew it. But he was safe now, had friends, contingency plans. “Ever again.”

“You know,” Paige started softly, “this was supposed to be a nice relaxing evening with friends and good food. No dark stuff.” Dipping her head, she chuckled breathily. 

“Yeah,” Bucky winced. “Sorry about that. Kinda my fault, really.” And he did feel guilty—as he always did when she was around to hear his dark past—since he’d done nothing to stop the conversation when it started to take that turn. However, now he understood Carol and Wanda a little better, so maybe it wasn’t all bad.

She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. You don’t need to keep things bottled up. And this actually… reminded me. I’ve had my own brush with H.Y.D.R.A., though it’s not nearly as horrific as what y’all went through. Like really, truly insignificant in the grand scheme.”

This piqued everyone’s interest. And sympathy, which made Paige suddenly uncomfortable. 

She cleared her throat and began fiddling with her necklace. “I’ve been on very few actual dates in my life. And two of them happened to be while I was still at Stark Industries, right before I got promoted to the Avengers. Right before you—” she nodded at Bucky, whose frown deepened,  _ whoops _ —“showed up in DC and that whole mess happened. Turns out the guy who took me on those dates was with H.Y.D.R.A. and was most likely trying to use me for… whatever nefarious deeds they could conjure up with my level of clearance.” She exhaled sharply. “I didn’t really like _ like _ the guy, necessarily, but you know. Still sucks when the guy you thought was into you turns out to be like, pure evil. That was an interesting day, to say the least.”

She didn’t sound too upset at the memory, but it still had obviously left its mark on her. Bucky had the almost insatiable urge to reach out for her. Tell her that that thing she’d told them about deserving nothing but happiness? It applied to her, too. But the fact that she was across the table and not next to him… It would have looked odd to reach all the way across. Besides, Wanda had it covered, her hand now resting on Paige’s shoulder. So he settled for, “Well, fuck that guy and _ fuck  _ H.Y.D.R.A.”

She waved her hand dismissively, ignoring the way she wanted to melt at all the comforting attention, particularly the way Bucky sounded and was looking at her. “If I had to guess, he’s either dead or in jail. Either one works for me. It’s in the past, so it’s whatever. And like I said, not nearly as bad as what y’all went through.”

“Still goes to show how far these bastards’ reach goes,” Carol said lowly. 

“Yeah, so I guess nobody was unaffected. But, let’s not dwell on it too much. Supposed to be a fun night, remember? And the night is still young.”

“This is your place, so I guess we have to play by your rules,” Wanda sighed. 

“Damn right. But while we’re on the topic… What’s say we get everyone here a new hobby?”

Bucky liked where this was going. “That’s not a bad idea. Like a group hobby or something different for each of us? What did you guys have in mind?”

Everyone went back to their plates as Paige looked thoughtfully at each of them. The other two women shrugged and looked at her expectantly.  _ Ah, gonna have to do this myself. _ “So, Carol, we can teach you to cook? Whenever you come visit us, that is.”

“Good luck with that,” she snickered, more at herself than anything. “I’m willing to try, but don’t expect great results.”

“It’ll be fun, at least.” Paige shook her head and looked at Wanda. “What about you? Any particular skill you wanna try to get good at?”

She nodded. “Yeah, actually. I know English and Russian, but I think I’d like to learn another language. It can’t hurt, and it might be fun.”

“I can teach you Kree and some of the Skrull’s native language, but that’s all I'd be good for,” Carol laughed. 

“That might still be fun. And I think Bucky speaks more languages than I can count, so…” Paige offered, lifting her eyebrows at him. 

Even if he was going to refuse—which he wasn’t—how could he now? “As long as I know the one you pick, yeah, I can teach you.” He smiled broadly at Wanda. “Just don’t insult my cooking again and we’re good.”

“No promises.” Wanda took a sip from her tea. “What about you?”

He had actually been giving something a lot of thought lately. “I’ve been doing a lot of research on, well, space stuff, as Steve calls it, but I think I wanna try my hand at gardening. Growing plants. That stuff. I did it a little in Wakanda, but I wasn’t very good at it. Stuck mostly to tending to the goats.” He chuckled to himself. “So I could stand to learn from people much better at it than me.”

Paige couldn’t help the stupid grin now plastered on her face. Would he ever stop surprising her? “I think I can help with that.” She looked at Wanda and nodded. “We both probably can. She’s pretty good with plants, too.”

“And next time you and I are free at the same time, I’ll take you for a joy ride anywhere you wanna go,” Carol offered.

Bucky was positively beaming now. “I’m in, then.”

Carol’s chocolate eyes were now fixated on Paige’s. “And what about you, Paige? You’re in on this, too, you know.”

She tapped her chin and pondered her options for a moment, humming. “Maybe… I mean I know I go to those galas and stuff all the time, but it’s really just swaying to the music. I’ve never been good at dancing. And I’m like  _ okay _ at drawing. Maybe one of those?”

“I’ve got both of those covered.” Bucky was now looking very smug. And the idea  _ thrilled _ him. But when the attention turned to him, he felt his ears go red. Good thing he had long hair. 

“So you’re not gonna pick learning to fight? The one skill I could probably teach you?” Carol feigned disappointment.

Paige laughed, “I mean, in exchange for the cooking lessons we’ll give you, yeah, you can teach me some self defense.”

Bucky kept his mouth firmly shut and ignored Paige’s slight blush at Carol.  _ He _ wanted to do that, but objectively speaking, Carol was probably the right person for it. She could kick his ass with her pinky finger. So could Wanda. Then again, Carol wasn’t going to be around all the time, so he could probably sneak in a lesson or two with Paige. Another excuse to be around her. As if he needed more of those. 

“It’s settled then!” Wanda clapped. “And since everyone’s finished eating—”

“Who says I’m done?” Carol asked, starting to stand.

Bucky rose from his seat as well. “I’m still hungry, too. Leave some for me.”

“You’re gonna have to be fast, old timer.”

They nearly knocked over her bookshelf when Carol gave a particularly hard shove to Bucky, but Paige honestly wouldn’t have cared. Seeing them so at ease brought a warmth to her chest that she hoped would never go away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Early May**

Bucky really did not want to talk to Sam one-on-one because he knew exactly what Sam wanted to talk about. He’d been actively avoiding him—using lame excuses to bolt immediately after their classes with the agents, just downright turning around if he heard his voice anywhere nearby, and choosing to keep his pace a little faster on the morning runs—ever since their conversation in Paige’s office. Which he hadn’t stopped thinking about. Was he really being that obvious? Or was Sam just being a little shit like usual? He’d probably find out sooner or later; he unfortunately couldn’t avoid him forever. 

Sam Wilson was nothing if not persistent.

And unfortunately for the both of them, Bucky was already grouchy.

Thanks to F.R.I.D.A.Y., he found Bucky in the locker room, pulling on gym clothes and trying to get a workout in before their training with the agents later that day. 

He hadn’t seen Barnes all weekend, and apparently he’d been busy. He’d trimmed his hair back a bit, more or less resembling how he looked when they’d found him in Bucharest, maybe slightly shorter. Too short for a bun now, anyway. He’d ditched the full beard, too. Not quite clean shaven, but significantly more groomed than before. And new workout clothes? Had Paige actually managed to drag his reluctant ass out shopping? 

_ If so, that woman is a miracle worker and I’m gonna give her so many new plants.  _

“You are not weaseling out of this one today, Barnes.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes. “What if I have something else to do, Wilson?”

A finger pointed to the ceiling. “I checked with F.R.I.D.A.Y. You have nothing else on the schedule for today besides our session. And there’s nobody out there waiting to spar with you. It’s just me.”

“So you’re looking for an ass kicking. Okay.”

“You cheat, and you know it.”

“Uh huh.”

Bucky relented when Sam suggested weight training, deciding that he might as well get this over with. He could always duck out the instant Sam touched the wrong nerve. Which was only a matter of time. 

“So I’m not gonna ask why you’ve been avoiding me because that’s a dumbass question.”

Bucky let the last weight clink onto the barbell loudly. “Questions are only as dumb as the person who asks them.”

“By that logic, every question you ask,” he exhaled loudly as the bar touched his chest, pushing back up with a grunt, “is a dumbass question.”

“Keep this up, and I’ll add more weight than even Steve and I can handle.”

“Whatever, man.” Another pump of his arms. “You gonna do anything about that obvious crush you got on my girl?”

Bucky froze. He knew that’s not what Sam meant, but he couldn’t help his immediate reaction. “ _ Your  _ girl?” he asked, trying to keep his tone neutral and failing.

That’s what Sam had been waiting for. He gave Bucky a very pointed look.

_ Shit. _ “That’s not—”

“Barnes, dude, it’s fucking obvious. So are you gonna do anything?”

Bucky grumbled and didn’t respond, only half paying attention to spotting for Sam. What the hell was he supposed to say? Of course he wasn’t going to do anything. They were good friends, so why ruin it with one-sided feelings?

“Bucky.”

“What, Sam?”

“I think she likes you, too.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Physical attraction is different from emotional attraction. Even I know the difference.”

_ Oh, he’s not completely denying it. _ “I do, too.”  _ huff _ “Pretty sure she likes you both ways.”  _ huff _ “Dunno why she does. But I can tell.” Sam placed the barbell back on its hooks and rested his hands on his chest.

Bucky wasn’t twenty-four anymore. Whatever physical attraction Paige felt for him (and he felt for her, he’d realized not too long ago), he wasn’t going to act on. He’d just end up hurt in the end, and she would, too. And he sure as hell didn’t want that to happen. If he did anything, he had to be sure she felt the same in her heart. And— “She doesn’t.”

“You’re a fucking moron.”

”Yeah, you keep telling me that. And I have a feeling you’ll tell me why, even if I don’t ask.”

“Damn right I will. Barnes, I have never seen her that fucking flustered as she was at the last fundraiser. When she was dancing with you. Girl met  _ Captain America _ , and myself, and didn’t have half as much of a heart attack as she did when you finally went to talk to her that night. Even asked for you specifically with the whole roach shit. Which—whatever. Also, she can be a real recluse sometimes, staying holed up in her office, but now she’s basically in the first floor kitchen every single day. As are you. Then, there’s the matter of that massage you were givin’ her. The tension in that room was palpable, man. And she’s never let anyone outside the med bay do anything like that, as innocent as it may have been. You know what else? You’re at her place like every weekend now! Do you know how many times she’s invited me over to her place?” He held up a finger to illustrate his point. “Once. One time, and I’ve known her much longer than you. None of the other women here have even been over to her place as often as you.” Sam picked up the bar for his second set of reps. “That woman does not see you as just a friend.”

Bucky sighed irritably. “You ever stop to think you may be reading too much into these things?”

“Do you ever stop to think you’re not reading into it enough?”

“Do you do this every time a guy and a girl hang out?”

“Dude. You would not have spent the last two weeks avoiding me if I’m wrong.”

Of course Sam was going to keep pressing at this. A growl lodged itself in the back of his throat. But instead of replying directly to Sam’s very true statement, he went with, “Do you do this to Steve and Nat? Or Alexis and Ellie? Or is it just because you like testing my patience?”

“Nope, because there’s nothing between them.” Sam’s breathing was becoming more labored faster than normal; Barnes had stacked on a slightly bigger weights this time, the asshole. “Besides, Ellie told me she’s ace.”

Bucky grunted. That hadn’t been the best example, apparently. “Oh.”

“You’re so thick headed. How the hell did you get so many dates back in the day?”

He grunted again. “I’m a hundred years old, Sam. That was a lifetime ago.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t mean some of those moves you used back then wouldn’t work on someone already more than willing to drop her panties for you.”

Blue eyes went dark, and suddenly Sam’s weight was much heavier. That probably had something to do with the fact that Barnes was now pushing down against the bar. Not hard enough to actually hurt him, but enough that Sam was struggling to keep it from crushing his chest. As strong as he prided himself on being, he wasn’t going to last much longer. It was probably one of his dumber ideas, really. And he knew it. Of course Bucky was going to use his super strength the moment he got annoyed enough. 

Sam hadn’t meant it to sound so crude; he and Paige had both made their fair share of those types of jokes. He was just trying to get something out of Bucky. Admit just why he hadn’t made the obvious move when feelings were mutual. Although this definitely wasn’t the type of reaction he’d wanted. If Bucky had just yelled at him or something, instead of getting physical about it, Sam would have readily explained that it was a joke, and one Paige herself probably would have thought funny. But Sam was trying too hard not to die to be able to focus on anything else.

Thank god Steve’s voice rang out and distracted Bucky, allowing Sam to replace his weights and catch his breath. 

“What’s going on?”

“Good. Maybe you can talk some sense into him, Cap,” Sam wheezed, sitting up straight and returning Bucky’s glare with the same intensity. 

Steve looked very confused as he strode up to them. “Wanna tell me why you two are fighting this time?”

“Barnes’ got the hots for Paige and vice versa, but he won’t do jack shit about it.”

“Wilson’s being a dumbass and sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong and being real fuckin’ disrespectful.”

They’d both replied at the same time, still glowering at each other. Steve gave a heavy eye roll in response and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I knew this would happen eventually. Can you two not try to kill each other for at least five minutes?”

Under normal circumstances, Steve’s Captain voice wouldn’t make him wither this much. Even Sam felt the effects. Probably because he was also genuinely afraid of Bucky in that moment. So he kept his retort to himself.

“So. Sam’s right.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Don’t do that, Buck. I know you.”

“And we’re not dumb,” Sam added, crossing his arms in a manner that looked way too much like he was trying to mirror Steve, and Bucky had the worst time not rolling his eyes again.

But he did snark, “That’s debatable.”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “Bucky.”

“Steve sees it, too.” Sam gave a little nod in his direction and continued. “She does act different around you. All that stuff I mentioned earlier?”

Steve didn’t know exactly what had been said moments ago, but he and Sam had had this talk before. “It’s true. She’s… different since you two became friends. It’s good.”

“Yeah, well, it’s just nice having new friends,” Bucky said dismissively, trudging over time the free weight rack. “Doesn’t mean she likes me like that.”

Sam leaned forward. “She looks at you like you’re the goddamn light of her life, Barnes. I really don’t understand  _ why _ but—”

Steve’s stern look made Sam’s mouth slam shut so fast there was an audible  _ clack _ of teeth. “Bucky, Sam’s right. Why don’t you try asking her out on an actual date? See what happens?”

Sam’s voice was much gentler now. “Shoot your shot, bud. Even if we’re wrong—”

“And you are,” Bucky interrupted.

“—and she actually doesn’t feel the same, she’s not gonna stop being friends with you just because you’re in love with her. All of us know you’re not one of those guys that would make it weird, and I’m pretty sure she does, too.”

As much as he wanted to believe what they believed, there was no way. She was just being herself around him. Whatever emotionally romantic signals he thought he could read were just… misinterpretations. Wishful thinking and hoping. He turned back to the weight rack and refused to make eye contact with them, grabbing two of the heavier kettlebells. “First, I’m not in love with her.” He was going to continue to lie about it until they believed him and got off his back. It was stressful enough that he knew and was trying not to be too obvious, especially around her. He didn’t need these two knowing as well. 

Sam pursed his lips and Steve frowned, but neither interrupted. They’d give him hell for the “in love” part of it—since they hadn’t gone that far—later on, when he wasn’t so grumpy. 

“Second, she doesn’t see me that way. You two are probably just used to it, but  _ I’ve _ seen the way she lights up around the whole team and some of the staff. And before you—” he gestured at Steve, kettlebell still in hand—“start in on that physical reaction stuff, I know. And as I told  _ him _ already, it’s just physical. I know what that looks like. But that’s not… I don’t want just that anymore. I’m not who I used to be. And she deserves better. So I’m not doing anything. We’re fine being friends.” He finally looked up at both of them. “And third, why the hell should I take relationship advice from two of the most single people I have ever met?”

“I know you can be an asshole, but damn, man—” Sam started, sounding only a little offended, but Bucky wasn’t dealing with him yet.

“You won’t even call Sharon, so I don’t think you should be talking to me about any of this.”

The diversion was successful, because Sam’s attention was now fixated on Steve, mouth hanging open. “You told  _ me _ you’ve been talking!”

Steve’s jaw was clenched shut, glaring daggers at Bucky for a long moment before he paid Sam any mind. “I…” A regretful sigh, then, “I’ve been busy. Being on the council and running missions here and there is a lot of responsibility, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to drag her into the mess it creates.”

“Why don’t you let her decide that? She’s a grown woman.” Sam rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in exasperation. “So fucking stupid, both of you. Apparently I gotta do all the work myself.”

“Sam, no—”

“If you do  _ anything _ , Wilson, I will kill you.” Bucky was only half-joking, but made it sound like he was entirely serious.

Sam faltered for a second before deciding Barnes’s threat was empty. “Then you both better get your asses in gear. I cannot believe two of the biggest names in the entire world have two fucking perfect women waiting for them to make a move that should have been made a long time ago. They won’t wait forever, you know.”

“Why are you talking so much game when you’re just as single as we are?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I’m not interested in anyone.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed. He knew Sam was lying, but he saw an opportunity to end this conversation and maybe get them to go away so he could brood in peace. The day had started off bad; a nightmare had kept him awake and drudged up more awful memories, so he hadn’t slept well at all the night before. Now these two were trying to get him to confront feelings he really didn’t want to, trying to make him do something he had a sinking feeling would end badly. If they’d caught him on a better day, he might have been more open to their suggestions, maybe make Sam confess what he was hiding. Instead, he just rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

It looked like Steve didn’t fully believe him either, but let it pass. “So, Buck, you gonna take our advice?”

“Probably not. There’s no point.”

“We’re just asking you to test the waters.” Sam’s voice had gone soft again, pleading almost. “Maybe you’ll end up seeing what we see. She deserves to be happy and get what she wants, and as much as I love fucking with you, you deserve it, too.”

“Agreed. You should at least try.”

“Think about it.”

Bucky let out a long, deep sigh and turned to them, dropping the kettlebells back into their spot on the rack. Sam really was trying to help, and it was always hard for Bucky to turn him or Steve away when they got like this. So he chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment, contemplating what they’d said. Maybe they did have a point. It might not be a bad idea to, well,  _ test the waters _ . At the very least, he’d be able to get closure and stop worrying about this so much. Move on and just be the  _ friend  _ she deserved, not the pining and hopeless idiot he was currently being. But he wasn’t going to let them know he’d actually try. “I’ll  _ think _ about it. But I’m not making any promises.” 

This satisfied Sam. Enough to where he could give the semi-serious warning he’d been holding back. “Just know that if you somehow end up hurting Paige, my loyalties are always gonna be with her. So I’ll deal with you personally.”

“Sam,” Steve said, giving him a look. “Don’t—”

“You won’t have to worry about that. I hurt her, I’ll kill myself for you.” Again, only half-joking. 

“Bucky.” Steve sounded horrified at the prospect. “That’s not gonna happen, so just… Let us know—”

“Call Sharon.”

His sudden and determined command startled Steve. “Oh… Uh… Yeah. Okay. I will.”

“I’m holding you to that, Rogers,” Sam declared, giving him a look to match.

“Good.” Bucky went back to the weight racks. “Now can you two leave me alone? I’ve had enough self-righteousness for the day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my Team Cap boys. And Sam's a very good guy and he's very sweet, I just like to write him ribbing Bucky because he feels like too many people walk on eggshells around him. He just wants his friends to be happy and isn't afraid to gently bully them into doing stuff.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may... have projected onto Paige for this stuff. *shrug emoji*
> 
> Also this is long, so enjoy!

**Mid-May**

However Paige had expected her weekly Friday night in with Bucky to go, this wasn’t it.

“Can I ask you something?”

She paused putting away the spoons. He didn’t sound playful and lighthearted like he had a few moments ago, so she was a bit taken aback. He’d been bugging her about helping her cook from the corner of the kitchen, which she absolutely was not going to let him do. He wasn’t a terrible cook by any means, but he was so messy when baking, and she preferred to keep the amount of dough that would inevitably get in places it shouldn’t be to a minimum. Yeah, he’d help clean up, but she’d rather just do it herself tonight. Let him rest a little bit; he’d just gotten back from taking down some arms dealers with Rhodey and Nat in Haiti that morning, and the press conference had ended only two hours ago.

She’d invited him over, trying to sweeten the deal with pizza, cookies, and a movie. Not that extra bribes were necessary, as he’d made clear before. She’d fully expected them to resort to old routines and have a relaxing night. They both needed to unwind after their hectic week. 

He seemed to have other things on his mind, however. She turned to face him fully, trying not to sound as nervous as she suddenly felt. “Yeah?”

He hesitated, not really knowing if he should straight up explain it to her, or… maybe it would be easier to show her. He closed the fairly small gap between them methodically, asking slowly, “I’ve been wondering… why do you…” he trailed off when he was at his destination: in her personal space. 

He watched her carefully. Aside from the surprised and meaningful look on her face and her suddenly more rapid breathing, she made no other movements. She was used to his closeness; they did it all the time, from leaning on each other the couch, to bumping into each other (both on purpose and not), to the few times she hooked her arm under his when they walked around Brooklyn. However, it usually didn’t take long for her to somehow excuse herself from the close personal contact. Even if they just stood near each other, like they were doing at that moment, she’d eventually seem to come back to her senses and make up some excuse to move a little further away. At first, he’d hadn’t thought much about it. She was prone to being fairly shy at times, particularly around people she didn’t know. Bucky was the same way. But the more they hung around each other, he’d noticed she did it with everyone, not just him. Even when she was being particularly outgoing and had that glow of pure joy he loved seeing on her. And he had to know why she was depriving herself of what she wanted. It’d been bugging him for weeks, getting worse after his unwanted chat with Sam and Steve. 

Which may have been the main reason he was so inclined to try that “testing the waters” thing tonight.

It was longer this time than usual before she moved away. The air between them had become thick, particularly when Bucky put his hand gently on her arm. He’d rubbed little circles with his thumb for far shorter than he would have liked before she tore her gaze away from his to look at her feet. A sharp but small exhale, a step backwards, and she was at a safe distance again. 

His face fell as he watched her. She looked uncomfortable, but not because she didn’t want physical contact. Bucky knew she loved it; she’d explicitly told him so before. Which is why he was so eager to give it to her. That, and he loved it, too. But he had to know…

“Why do you do  _ that _ ?” he asked softly. 

Paige caught what he meant almost immediately. She could hear that he had no irritation, no anger in his voice. Only concern. She sighed, playing with the bottom hem of her shirt. She wanted to meet his gaze, but she couldn’t just yet. “I, uh…”

“You don’t have to tell me. I just—”

“No, no. I… I think I want to talk to someone about it. To you.” She tried to keep her voice as neutral as she could. It wasn’t something that bothered her nearly as much as it used to, but sometimes talking about it opened up several other cans of worms. She really hoped she wouldn’t end up having a breakdown in front of him. That was less than ideal, to say the least.

She steadied herself with a deep breath and finally looked up to Bucky. He managed to look sad and patient and encouraging all at the same time. How did he  _ do _ that? “I know you know this, but I actually love like, physical contact. I love hugs and heads resting on shoulders and hand holding, all that stuff. And I usually don’t mind people in my personal bubble. People I know, anyway. But…” She looked anywhere but his face. She wouldn’t be able to talk if she stared at him any longer. “The longer they stay there, the more worried I get about them finding a reason to not want to be there anymore. Do I smell and not realize it? Can they see that I didn’t wash my hair today and it looks gross or something? Is there some horrible detail on my face they can see that I’ve been trying to hide? Are they gonna take my closeness the wrong way and get, like, weirded out? And it scares me a little bit.”

She crossed her arms and took another steadying breath. “So, I give them the space back. Small doses, you know? So I can keep going back and enjoying those little moments. I know I shouldn’t be that self-conscious about that sort of thing, but I… I can’t help it. Un-learning horrible and stupid societal expectations is rough, man.” There was a short, dry laugh before she continued. “Especially when there’s not enough truly accurate representation out there in media and stuff. At least not for people like me, you know. I know that’s a minor thing and  _ I’m an adult _ and I know my self worth, but it still…” Another uncomfortable shift. “There’s a select few people I know don’t care one bit, and it’s easier with them, but that nagging thought is still there, still bugging me,” she finished, waving her finger at her head.

Bucky had stayed silent while she explained. When he felt as though she was done, he asked in a whisper, “What would it take to prove that I’m one of those select few people?”

She looked sharply up at him, eyes wide. She blinked a couple of times, unsure of exactly how to answer. And when he took another careful step closer, her breath caught in her throat. 

“I can’t judge you on any of that stuff. And I won’t ever. Especially not on the worrying about if you smell part. I know damn well I smell a lot worse than you think you do most of the time. And, if it’s any consolation, you always smell nice.” 

This earned a small smile, followed by, “Thanks. You only smell after you workout. Normal stuff. Your cologne’s nice.”

He chuckled and placed both hands on her shoulders. Gently and lightly, so she still had the option to push him away easily if she so desired. “I just want to be near you. And the only reason I’d go is if you asked me to.”

Her eyes started to water a little bit. She knew this was going to happen, and he was the last person she wanted to cry in front of—again, but bad cry this time. Didn’t matter that she’d seen him cry; it only made her feelings that much stronger for him, and harder to ignore. Her goal in their friendship was to be a source of light, a source of comfort. To be strong. A good friend. He’d been an excellent one so far, and she felt they both deserved to have as many positive forces in their life as possible Give him a sense of normalcy; he’d been deprived of that for so long. And although Paige knew crying and emotions were a part of that normalcy, she didn’t need to be the blubbering fool she knew she’d become if he kept looking at her  _ like that _ , welling up a hope she’d been trying so hard to bury. 

She had no idea what else to say, other than a nod and, “Okay.”

Bucky smiled and studied her face. Even though he could hear the strain and unease in her voice, his heart was soaring. She hadn’t turned him away. Maybe Sam and Steve had been onto something, that she’d let him stay in her life even if she didn’t feel the same way. That was more than enough for him, to just be around her. 

He lifted his flesh hand from her shoulder to gently cup her cheek. Her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned in ever so slightly to his touch, one hand now resting comfortably on his metal forearm. He wanted so badly to find her lips with his, but he reined himself in; it would surely ruin whatever progress they’d made in sorting out what was between them. They needed to go slow, and she needed assurances that he was going to stay. He’d let her pull away if she needed to, but he wasn’t going anywhere. So he settled for caressing her face. He began lightly tracing her jawline, but he didn’t get far before her eyes flew open and she quirked her head away slightly. He drew back his hand as if it’d been burned. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. Not your fault.” The rest of her body hadn’t moved, so at least he hadn’t crossed some unknown line. Or had he? 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. If there’s something you want to tell me, you can tell me. But I don’t want to push you.” Although he most certainly meant them, he didn’t mean to say his next words quite yet. But they just slipped out before he could stop himself. 

“I love you.”

_ Fuck. Shit. I hope that wasn’t too soon. Too late to try and cover it up now. _

At those three little words, Paige felt her heart stop.  _ Did… did I hear that right? _ She knew the answer when she saw the shock on Bucky’s face, which was quickly replaced by one that mirrored his words. She felt like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. It was almost… too much, the hope and fear fighting for dominance made her somewhat nauseous. To try and keep herself under control, she chewed on the inside of her cheek hard between deep, calming breaths. She needed to say it back because, as much as she tried to deny it,  _ she felt it too _ , but she also felt like saying it would cause her to wake up from what was obviously a dream. Because there was no way. At least, not romantically. Right?  _ This perfect, wonderful specimen of a human being, being romantically in love with me, with all of the people who are figuratively falling at his feet? Nuh uh. _

Paige deliberated for a long moment, waiting to see if he’d correct himself, prove her theory of “as friends” right. When he didn’t, she steeled herself, let the hope win out. Well, since this obviously was some sort of lucid dream, why not try and be bold? She was not going to write this down on her list of Dreams Where I Cry While Confessing Something. 

“I love you, too.”

Her voice had come out shakier than she’d wanted, but she wasn’t crying.  _ Yet _ . 

He could tell she was still trying to get ahold of her own emotions, but there was no mistaking the truth in her words.  _ She loved him back. _ Bucky wasn’t sure he’d ever grinned so hard in his life. He knew he must have looked like an absolute dope, if the way Paige was giggling now was any indication. It didn’t matter. It didn’t even matter that eventually, he’d have to tell Sam and Steve that they were right about the whole thing. All that mattered were those four words.

_ Barnes, it’s true: you’re a total fucking moron. _

The urge to kiss her had become almost overwhelming, but he still held his ground. She wasn’t done talking; he could see it as plain as day. And he’d be damned if he was going to ruin the mood by going too fast.

“And, um,” she continued, chewing her bottom lip and not meeting his gaze. She needed to get this out, for him to understand exactly why she might back away sometimes. “I pulled away because…” she took another deep breath. “I have a condition called PCOS. Lots of women have it, and there’s not really a cure for it yet. It can cause a lot of different... things. I got the main three, unfortunately. Tendency to be overweight, irregular periods, and—” she gestured at her neck—“hair growth. Like, dark, thick hairs in places most women don’t tend to get them. Which is just  _ great _ for self-esteem.”

She finally looked up at him again, instantly wishing she hadn’t. The look on his face was shattering her heart in the best way. She focused her attention on the small Avengers logo on his polo instead, then continued once she felt she could. “I had to shave a lot. If I didn’t shave every other day, my face and neck would look a lot like yours right now. It was, um… a real bad source of… anxiety for me. I got laser hair removal a few years ago, and it worked really well. I got lucky on that, really. But there are still days I just… and when people get too close to my face I still...” 

Bucky’s heart clenched painfully. She was definitely still struggling with this, despite how comfortable with herself he knew she was. He wanted so badly to help her understand that all of those imperfections she harped on didn’t matter to him one bit. He loved her, every inch of her. And he would willingly spend a million lifetimes trying to prove it.

He lifted his right hand again and stroked her cheek with his finger. When her golden brown eyes met his again, his gaze flitted down to her neck, and he gestured with his finger. “May I?”

He was asking to feel her neck. A small part of her brain yelled for her not to let him, that he’d just run away. She ignored it, as she often did when it reared its ugly little head. Nodding, she straightened her back and lifted her chin a little. He wasn’t going to hurt her. He never had. And instead of seeming grossed out, he was curious. Sympathetic, even—she wasn’t too sure if  _ that _ was the right emotion; her brain wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders at that moment.

But she did know that she trusted him. 

_ Well _ , she decided once she realized how nice she felt while he explored,  _ maybe this isn’t a dream after all. _

He traced every inch of her neck and jaw slowly, deliberately. He never put all five fingers on her throat at once; that might be too much for both of them, and not in a good way. Instead, he focused on being as gentle as possible. And god, she was so  _ soft _ . His gaze drifted to her face every few moments, watching for signs that he should stop. Her eyes were closed, just feeling his fingers lovingly following every dip, bump, and vein he could find. Her nervous features faded into… something Bucky couldn’t quite recognize. But she looked more relaxed. Particularly when he’d paused over the hollow base of her neck. He saw her jaw clench almost imperceptibly, but not out of discomfort. He quirked an eyebrow and a small smirk played on his lips. He’d remember that. Once he’d reached the other side of her face, he smiled and whispered, “Lovely.”

He didn’t move his hand away, so she reached up and laced her fingers through his. When her eyes finally opened, she found his face was much closer. And she didn’t mind. Not this time. He’d been so tender, but that shouldn’t have come as a surprise, really. He’d never been anything but sweet and gentle with her. Even when they teased each other, there had never been anything even remotely unkind in anything he said. 

Also, how could she be so fucking stupid? Of course he loved her! Of course this wasn’t just a one-sided crush!  _ Of fucking course _ she loved him! All the signs were right there! The stolen glances, the fond looks he gave her when she rambled, seemingly inane excuses for hanging out in her office, the way he reacted to the little touches she gave him, the way he openly gave her the excuses to touch him, the way she wanted to be near him all the time, the way she just wanted to hear whatever he had to say, the way they just got along, as if it was the most natural thing. Right there. Stupidly, she’d just totally ignored them or wrestled  _ so _ hard with herself to pass them off as nothing special, burying them beneath mounds of what she thought was logic. She’d spent so much of her life doing that anyway, so it was no wonder she’d been too blind to see it when it was actually happening.  _ Paige, you’ve been drinking Dumb Bitch Juice for way too long.  _

“I wouldn’t have minded before, either.”

His voice cut through her wandering thoughts, and with good timing, too. She was getting very mad at herself. Being pulled back to the present so suddenly took a moment to adjust and understand, but then, “Oh?”

He nodded. “It’s part of you. And I love you. Imperfections and all. Though they really aren’t.” It wasn’t like he expected to immediately cure her of this insecurity. He damn well knew that’s not how that worked. But constant reminders were a good start. She’d done it for him, and she deserved to know how loved she was. Not just platonically.

“And I love you, too.” Admitting it a second time was the final straw. Tears started flowing and she couldn’t stop them. He quickly pulled her into a hug and she buried her face in his chest. He pressed his lips into her hair, whispering, “It’s okay. I’m here.” When she choked out what sounded like a “sorry,” his grip tightened. “You don’t need to apologize. Don’t hold back. It’s what Dr. Basu says all the time, and it’s true. You have no reason to be ashamed of your feelings. I got you, Paige. I got you.” 

If it was something his therapist said, she’d be dumb not to listen. Isn’t that what she was telling him all the time? So as much as she didn’t want to, she stopped holding back. She was never a loud crier, just messy. This time was no different. She promised herself that she’d wash his shirt later as an apology for how badly she was staining it up. And she could deal with the embarrassment she felt about the whole thing later.

But for now, she clung to Bucky and just let herself go.

* * *

“Are you gonna post these to social media with some silly caption? Like, Instagram or whatever?”

Paige already had a cookie halfway in her mouth when he asked, and rather than stop and answer him straight away, she cast a perturbed look his way and finished shoving the cookie into her mouth. She knew that he knew how she felt about people constantly posting pictures of food. He did this every time she cooked for the two of them. Bucky looked very amused and waited patiently for her inevitably snarky reply. 

“Shut up, Barnes.” Paige didn’t bother to wait until she was finished chewing.

The oven timer had gone off just as she’d seemed to run out of tears, startling both of them. She’d apologized profusely and made him throw his shirt in the washer with her pre-loaded towels (“You are not walking around here in a mascara-stained shirt, mister. Let me take care of the cookies and try and pull myself together,”). He’d obliged and sat on the couch while she took care of the cookies. This was supposed to have been a relaxing Friday night watching movies and stuffing their faces, and she was determined to try and keep it that way. They’d both agreed to take things fairly slow. She wasn’t all that experienced in relationships, and it’d been a long time for him. And he was a different person, now. 

“Are you gonna bring those over here or stand there and look angry at me?”

“I think I’d rather stand here and look angry at you.”

“Just so you know, it’s not very effective. You’re not actually angry, so you just look cute more than anything else.”

Paige wrinkled her nose and turned away. If she kept looking at him and listening to his husky laugh, she wouldn’t be able to stop smiling, and her illusion of being annoyed would be gone. Even though Bucky was seeing right through it, she wasn’t going down without a fight. She shoved another cookie in her mouth and lifted up the plate. He was still in his tank top, which he’d mentioned he didn’t wear often (a leftover habit from before the war he occasionally slipped into); so tonight Paige silently thanked every deity she could remember, since she wasn’t sure how in the hell she’d keep her composure if faced with his bare chest right now. Though this was only slightly better. Why wouldn’t the washing machine hurry up? She really didn’t need him to continue looking  _ that good _ . She’d told herself to be realistic about the whole situation. Take it slow. That’s what they’d decided on, wasn’t it? This wasn’t Hollywood where everything worked out perfectly the instant after they said their “I love you”s.

However, she was finding it hard to not just drop the cookies and climb into his lap and make out for hours. Especially with his head cocked to the side and resting in his hand, watching her fondly with those big dumb blue eyes. Now she frowned for real.

Bucky caught her sudden shift in emotion and lifted his head up. “Paige? What is it?”

“Can you not look at me like that? While looking that good? That’s not fair.” They’d already aired their feelings, so now she didn’t have to hold back telling him how good he looked all the time while worrying herself silly about how he’d react. 

She sounded angry at first, but Bucky let out a hearty laugh when she finished. She made a face and huffed. There was suddenly a plate shoved into his chest, which served its purpose to get him to shut up. “You know, I was thinking the same thing about you,” he admitted before digging into the cookies. 

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t bullshit me, Buck. I know I look like an absolute mess.” Her brows knitted together when she remembered she hadn’t actually wiped her face off. “Speaking of…” 

He watched her go to the bathroom to wash her face. She did have mascara stains on her cheeks, but the only reason Bucky was even bothered by it was because he’d caused that. Well, partially, anyway. He’d wanted to try and fix it, but she had mentioned once before that she was able to move past things easier if she was allowed to handle it herself. Sometimes, people comforting her had made her feel worse, she’d said. And he completely understood. So, Bucky had held back, letting her make the decision to come to him if she needed to. She seemed to be in a much better mood now. Enough so that he could start playfully teasing her again.

When she came back a short time later, face completely devoid of makeup, Bucky had already polished off more than half of the plate. She’d made his favorite kind—her family recipe for snickerdoodles—on purpose, so he wasn’t liable for what happened when she gave him the whole plate. At least she’d already eaten a few.

“I always forget how fast you eat those things,” she mused, watching him stuff one of the larger ones in his mouth in a very undignified manner. When he gave her a toothy grin full of cookie bits, she made a big show to blanch. “Ew, don’t do that.”

He laughed and offered her the plate when she took her place next to him on the couch. She shook her head politely, saying she’d already had her fill. She waited until he was finished before pulling the blanket off the back of the couch, wedging a sizable chunk of it between them on purpose. Even though they were going to curl up together, she really needed a physical buffer between them. Er, between his chiseled upper body and herself. She could handle his metal arm draped over her just fine; she was used to it. Besides, he was always so warm. There was another blanket within his reach he could grab if he got too cold.

As she settled down and began browsing her phone for movies, he slipped his metal hand into her free one. “What’s on the agenda tonight?”

“I was gonna ask you what you wanted.” She handed him the phone with her Netflix queue pulled up, relishing in the whole holding hands thing he’d initiated. 

_ How old am I again? _

Bucky looked down at her and said earnestly, “Whatever you want. Whatever helps you feel better.”

She tilted her head up and was met with sincere and soft blue eyes. “I’m already feeling better, Bucky. Truly. Told you I’ll move on if you just let me be dramatic first.”

He chuckled at the memory. She’d said it so theatrically when talking about an irritating phone call she’d gotten that day, but he knew she was serious. She usually pulled herself together pretty quickly after stressful situations. It was something he’d always admired about her. Bucky tended to hold onto feelings if left to his own devices, but he was getting much better at letting trivial things go. “You’re right.”

“As usual,” she interjected smugly. 

“Don’t get cocky, Paige.”

They eventually tossed Netflix aside and settled on  _ Just Wright _ , which had been on cable—their last resort when nothing immediately jumped out on Netflix. Bucky didn’t complain. He hadn’t seen it before. Plus, it was one of Paige’s favorite movies, and one of the few rom coms she genuinely enjoyed. Not wanting to interrupt the movie dialogue on screen, she took the pauses the long commercial breaks offered to explain exactly why she hated so many “chick flicks.” Not all, but a lot. Bucky didn’t blame her, really. He was more into sci-fi and fantasy. That and comedy were usually what they settled on for their movie nights if there wasn’t a show they were binging (though that was a little harder to do together, since they both liked to watch ahead of the other). But for tonight, he was content watching what Paige called “a good slow burn”. 

“See?” She gestured at the screen with her free hand as the credits began to roll. “She’s not throwing away any aspect of her life to be with the person she loves. She’s doing what she loves, she’s still friends with the same people she was friends with at the beginning plus some new ones, and now she’s got a bomb ass job and a caring partner. And the whole thing felt so natural. What about this is so hard for so many other romance books and movies and shit to get? Like  _ that  _ is truly the dream.”

“I mean,” Bucky laughed, “I’m not an expert on the subject, but maybe because people keep paying to go see the same tropes?”

“Fair. But even the escapism isn’t that good in most of these things, though. Like it’s just… too unrealistic. Or it  _ shouldn’t _ be romantic but they try to make it and lots of younger people fall for it. For instance, there was this movie we watched in college once where the two main women were best friends, and one of them was getting married to a guy the other woman had introduced her to. But the guy had always had feelings for the main character—the one he’d known first—and then they eventually confessed one night. The rest of the movie was about them cheating behind her best friend and his fiancee’s back! And they, like, kinda made up at the end after shit hit the fan. But, like, that’s not realistic or romantic and none of them should have ended up together like they did. It was one of the most infuriating and fucking stupid movies ever,” she finished, huffing. 

Bucky was thoroughly amused by her outburst. But he wasn’t going to poke fun at her. And he understood where it was coming from. “Stuff like that happens in real life, I imagine. But, like you said, it shouldn’t be romanticized.”

“Exactly! Especially if it’s about cheating. I  _ hate  _ movies about cheating. Like every time someone’s like, ‘But I love them and they love me more than their current partner!’ Or ‘But they didn’t really mean it because they still love me,’ I get so angry. Just leave them, you dumbass! They don’t truly love you if they cheat. Jesus Christ.” A pause, and then, “We’re talking about movies, not real life. Real life’s more complicated. Abusive relationships and whatnot.”

Bucky thought about laughing because of how worked up she was getting, though it was totally called for, but something in her tone caught his attention, especially when she finished with, “Anyway… I don’t care how much you love someone. If they’re unfaithful, it’s not worth it. If it’s me, I’m leaving them immediately.”

“Is there something you want to talk about?”

His concerned tone caught her off guard. She shifted to get a better look at his face. “No, Bucky. It’s never happened to me. I just have very strong opinions on this. And I’ve seen too many people get hurt by it. I’m okay, though, really.” She smiled warmly up at him and placed a reassuring hand on his cheek. 

His face was suddenly very warm, particularly where she was now stroking his cheek. He searched her eyes and found truth in her words. Relieved, he gave her a small smile back, whispering, “If you really want to do this, I want you to know that I will never do that to you.” He wrapped his flesh hand around hers, pressing it more firmly against his face. “Nobody deserves that. Especially not you.”

“You know…” she trailed off briefly, and Bucky’s heart almost skipped a beat when she leaned in closer. “I was thinking the same thing about you. You don’t deserve any of the bad shit that’s happened to you.” 

She sat up straighter and leaned back. Bucky instinctively wanted to pull her back to him, but that would have to wait. Curiosity and sympathy danced in her eyes as her gaze drifted to his metal arm. He held it up in front of her so that she could examine it more easily. In the time he’d known her, she’d never once asked to look at it like this. They would have brief chats about it, sure, but she never pushed too hard. Bucky had originally thought she was just being polite, trying not to accidentally dredge up bad memories. But now, as she carefully traced the lines of gold and silver, her face inches away while she studied it, he knew there was another reason. 

She looked back at him after a moment, questioning. The thought of giving him his personal space back was there, but an encouraging smile and nod let her know that he was perfectly okay, that he wanted her there. She turned her attention back to the vibranium arm, working her way up to his bicep.

Though it wasn’t the same as human flesh and bone, this arm was much more sensitive than the last one. He could feel her slow breaths against the metal. It sent chills down his spine, and he fought very hard to not show exactly how her touch made him feel. The partially loose tank top didn’t fully cover the point where flesh met metal, so when she got close enough to see for herself, she looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“Bucky, I… I didn’t realize… it went this far… and looked like that…” she breathed. He bit back another shiver, trying not to focus too hard on how close she was and the pure emotion in her voice. As if it was her fault. “I’m…”

He shook his head and interrupted. “It’s okay. You let me, now it’s only fair I let you. I trust you.”

Her heart shot into her throat. She really should stop being so surprised at how open he was with her. She nodded and let her fingers glide over the scars. She was too busy studying them to notice the goosebumps that radiated out from the points of contact or the way Bucky’s breath hitched in his throat. Initially, at least. Her lips tugged up at the corner and she filed that away for later, instead choosing to focus her attention back on the main part of the arm. If she was doing what she thought she was doing, she didn’t want to rile him up too much. 

“It’s interesting,” she began slowly, “that they chose to put gold accents in your arm.” 

Bucky’s mind had gone a little fuzzy, so he didn’t understand what she was getting at. “Why so?”

She shrugged lightly. “It’s usually associated with royalty, high status, etc. It’s a very eye catching color.”

Realization dawned after a few heartbeats. “So that’s why Shuri… because I’m so bland and she thought I needed color.”

She was suddenly looking at him, apologetic and defensive. “You’re not bland! That’s not what I was saying, and I don’t think that’s why—”

“No, she actually said those words to me. She was talking about my clothes at the time, but that's definitely why my arm looks like this. I don’t blame her,” he chuckled. 

“I mean, that’s probably fair. Because, from what I’ve heard about her, I think most people would pale in comparison to her.”

“That is true. I need to introduce you two sometime. You’d get along great.”

“I would  _ love _ that. And you are  _ not _ bland. I’ve seen you wear plenty of other colors, and they all look good.” A pause, then, turning her attention back to his arm, she asked, “So she designed this?”

He hummed and wiggled his fingers. “It’s much better than the last one. Not that it was bad, but still. More responsive, a lot stronger, and more sensitive.” He looked at her pointedly. 

“Oh?” She suddenly had a mischievous glint in her eyes. Bucky maybe slightly regretted saying that last part. She followed one of the gold lines with her nails, and Bucky was straining so hard not to outwardly show how much that was affecting him. He was actually afraid of breaking some teeth because of how hard he was clenching his jaw. It only got worse when she brought his hand to her face and planted a light kiss on his palm. 

The air around them had become almost electric, and neither of them was having an easy time breathing normally. 

“Can I kiss you?”

Well, yet again, he hadn’t planned on saying that, but when they locked eyes, his brain-mouth filter shut down. He did not regret asking, though. She could turn him down and he’d be fine with it, but to his surprise, she smiled and nodded. 

“It’s embarrassing exactly how long I’ve wanted you to ask that.”

He slowly cradled her face in his hands and leaned closer. When she whispered, “Sorry in advance about my breath,” he ran his thumbs across her cheeks and shook his head. 

“Don’t apologize.” Before she could say anything else, he brushed his lips against hers briefly. Just the light contact sent her brain into a frenzy, and she started seeing stars behind her eyelids. She’d deal with how corny it was later. Right now, she was too busy focusing on how  _ good  _ everything felt. Even his stubble tickling her face wasn’t nearly as weird as she thought it would be. He planted a few more soft, quick kisses before she threaded her fingers through his hair and held him in place. She needed more, needed it to be deeper, and he was more than willing to respond accordingly. However, in her desperation to make the moment last as long as she could, she forgot to breathe.

“You okay?” he asked when she suddenly pulled away. He sounded almost as breathless as she felt. 

“Yeah, just was an idiot and forgot to breathe,” she managed. She kept her forehead pressed to his. As he chuckled, she continued, “I’m probably not very good at this.”

He smiled against her lips, not actively kissing because she was still catching her breath. “I’d be more than happy to practice as much as you’d like.”

She gently ran her fingers along his scalp as she repositioned her hands at the base of his skull. She had to focus to keep them there, otherwise they’d roam; then, things might get a little too intense. A pleasant sigh escaped his lips, and she laughed. After a moment, she opened her mouth to make a sly comment, but he cut her off with an ever deeper kiss.

Paige almost didn’t remember to breathe again. Bucky noticed her lack of air and slowly backed off, but not before tenderly dragging her bottom lip between his teeth. It was her turn to sigh, and Bucky’s whole body felt like it was on fire.  _ Slow, slow, slow,  _ he had to keep telling himself. Even though she seemed to finally remember to breathe, he had to keep giving them both a little break. 

“I like practicing,” she’d whispered the first break. She was surprised she could even hear herself talk, her heart was beating so loudly in her ears. Surely he heard it, too.

“Me too, sweetheart. Me too,” was his reply before their lips met again. When they broke apart a second time, he kissed her nose and said, “I love you, like, a lot. Sorry it took so long to tell you.”

She giggled. Because she wasn’t thinking straight, it came as a surprise when she formed a coherent response. “Stop taking the words from my mouth.” They both chuckled lowly before she added, “I love you, too.” It felt so nice to be able to fully express herself and know that the feelings were reciprocated. “And I’m sorry, too.”

“We need to stop saying sorry, remember?” He gave Paige a quick kiss on the lips when she laughed before moving to her jawline. He heard her gasp, but she didn’t move away. “Tell me if you want me to stop,” he murmured into her skin. Goosebumps formed under his lips, and she nodded, unable to say anything. He left soft kisses all over her neck. Occasionally her fingers dug into his skin where she’d gripped the wrist of his right hand, which was now resting on her upper arm. Her other hand had slid down to hold his metal one, flexing every now and then as well. He made his way back to the base of her neck and left tender, open mouthed kisses on the sensitive spot he’d found earlier.

“Bucky, Jesus...” She tipped her head back farther. It wasn’t a plea for him to stop, but rather to keep going. 

Her grip tightened even more, and Bucky found himself involuntarily groaning. Her voice… He had to pull away, suddenly breathing harder. “Don’t…” he pleaded hoarsely. “I think we should stop for now. Can’t go slow when you do that.”

She laughed breathily, “You started it.” She leaned away from him but didn’t let go of his hand. They stayed apart for a few minutes while they composed themselves. Neither had meant for it to get that far on a first kiss, but they weren’t really complaining. 

“And for the record, you taste like cookies, so that was nice.”

* * *

Paige never considered herself a morning person. She hated getting out of bed before 10. Even if she was excited for the day, it was a real struggle to make herself actually get out of bed. She had a habit of setting at least 6 alarms for work days. And more often than not, she barely made it to work on time. Tony understood, so she didn’t get called out for it. A miracle, really.

Once she was out of bed, though, she woke up pretty fast. Most of the time. Some mornings, particularly on weekends where she didn’t get to sleep in, were still rough. Not much good came out of interrupting her routine. Which is why it shouldn’t have come as any surprise that when she finally willed herself to get up and start coffee while the sun was just peeking out above the skyline, something bad was bound to happen. 

Thankfully, in this case, she wasn’t holding anything. She hadn’t even made it to the coffee machine to turn it on, so at least she didn’t burn herself. Small victories. 

For probably the thousandth time in her life, her clumsy feet got the better of her. Under normal circumstances, she may have been able to recover before she hit the ground, possibly even preventing a fall. She wasn’t fully awake, however, so when her foot got caught in her slightly-too-long pants leg, she hit the floor with a loud thud and an even louder  _ oomph _ .

She heard a rustle in the living room, followed by a disoriented grunt. She didn’t hit her head, thankfully, so she was able to register that it was Bucky, who she’d left on the couch the night before (she couldn’t offer him the guest bedroom because it was in total disarray, and she’d mentally kicked herself for putting off cleaning it). It’d been very late when they finished the movie and had their little moment. Despite their talk about taking things slow, she didn’t really want him to leave the apartment. Neither of them had anything to do that weekend, so why not just spend it at her place? She offered to wash his clothes when he agreed to stay, but he countered it by saying that he’d run back to the Avengers campus and grab some clothes when he went to pick up their lunch. 

_ God, we are already so domestic. _

Despite being still groggy as hell, she understood that she might need to lay low for a moment while Bucky collected his mind. He’d mentioned that sometimes, if he was startled awake, he might resort to old and very bad habits. They came much less frequently and his recovery time was quicker nowadays, but Paige wasn’t willing to risk either of their health and safety by being an idiot. 

_ I mean, I’m still an idiot but I’m not gonna make things worse. _

She listened quietly to his stuttered breathing and heard his feet shifting around. She was hidden behind the kitchen counter on the floor where she fell. Her knee and wrists were beginning to ache, but she stayed still. A few short moments passed. His breathing began to slow, and she finally heard him softly call out her name. It wasn’t loud enough that it would have woken her up if she’d been in her bed, so she knew he at least knew where he was.

“I’m here, Buck. Kitchen,” she said, almost as softly. 

Paige slowly pulled herself into a sitting position and was met almost immediately by Bucky’s incredibly wide eyes. “Hey, what happened? Are you okay?” He had crouched in front of her, hands on her shoulders.

She nodded, sighing, “I’m okay. Maybe gonna have some bruises, but what’s new?”

“What happened?” he repeated. A moment of hesitation, then his voice lowered. “I didn’t… do anything, did I?” It’d been a long time since he’d been startled awake with someone else nearby. The children in Wakanda hadn’t been as sneaky as they thought, so he always knew where they were.

She huffed a laugh and shook her head. “No, no! You’re fine. I’m just really clumsy, as usual. You were still asleep when I tripped over my own feet.”

Relief flooded his features, followed immediately by more concern. “Did you hit your head or anything?”

“No. Stayed on the ground to keep from scaring you more than I already had. Wrists and knee will be hurting more later, but I’m fine otherwise.” She smiled up at him. He returned the look before pulling her wrists to his face. 

“How bad do they hurt?” 

She made a face. “Like they normally ache after I fall. I’m fine, Bucky. Just embarrassed.”

He didn’t let go of her wrists just yet, but he let them drop into her lap while he massaged the muscles. “Just what are you doing up this early anyway?”

“I was like half awake and thought that I’d just go ahead and get out of bed and make you some coffee. Be a normal adult for once. Take care of my house guest.” She looked away sheepishly, trying to ignore the way her skin tingled under his hands. Again. “And even if I don’t just stay awake the rest of the day, I can always try and go back to sleep later. So much for the nice gesture.”

Bucky held back a laugh. “That was very sweet of you, but you don’t have to get up early just to make me coffee. I’m an adult, I can do things by myself.”

“That’s debatable.”

“Says the woman who tripped on a flat surface.”

She glared at him playfully. He only grinned back and leaned in to kiss her. “Aw, no! I have morning breath! Let’s wait until I’ve brushed my teeth,” she giggled, pulling away. She didn’t get far, seeing as he was still holding onto her wrists. 

He laughed and pulled back too. “That’s fair, that’s fair. I bet mine is pretty gnarly, too.”

“Gnarly? That’s a new one for you. ”

He pouted. “I’m not a total idiot. I am fluent in 9 languages, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’m fluent in none of them. How’s that?”

Bucky threw back his head as a deep, hearty laugh rocked his whole body. It always caught him off guard how funny Paige could be. At least to him and a few others. Mostly Parker, who had the same sense of humor she did. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why they were both in his  _ Top 5 Favorite People  _ list. 

When he finally was able to look back at her, she looked very proud of herself. “You liked that one, huh?” she asked, laughing as well. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners and his lips literally curved upwards when he laughed made her heart flutter, and she left it unchecked this time. No need to do that anymore. 

He nodded. “Yeah, that was a good one.” He leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. Those were perfectly fine in her book, and she had told him that he never had to ask permission. “ _ I’m a slut for forehead and hand kisses, _ ” she’d said. The regret had immediately shown on her face, and Bucky’s sides had started to hurt from the laughter. 

Bucky decided that they didn’t need to stay on the kitchen floor all morning. In one swift motion, he scooped her up into his arms, bridal style, and stood. 

“Hey, whoa!”

He frowned and realized his mistake. He’d been so overcome with affection that he’d failed to check with her first. “Sorry, should have asked first. You okay?”

“Yeah, you just took me by surprise is all. What are you doing, anyway?” she asked, throwing her arms around his neck to steady herself. He was effortlessly cradling her in his arms, but that didn’t mean she was totally balanced herself. 

“Don’t want you falling again. Where to? Bed or the couch?”

Her face flushed at the thought of him putting her in her bed and exactly what that might lead to. “Couch, please,” she said maybe a little too quickly. 

Bucky caught that, then half a moment later his face went red, too. He laughed it off and gently set her on the couch, then went back into the kitchen to rifle through her limited selection of coffee pods. Most of the pods were actually for hot chocolate, which might come in handy later when it inevitably got cold in the apartment. She liked burying herself under blankets, so she kept the thermostat down, even in winter. He couldn’t really blame her for it; her blankets were always soft and thick and warm. Just like her, which is probably why he liked them so much.

He tossed aside the chipotle chocolate coffee, whatever the fuck that was, assuming it was for when her brother visited. He liked to try weird things. The chocolate and banana coffee sounded more her speed, so he plucked that one and a generic arabica bean for himself. While his coffee brewed, he took a moment to stretch. His muscles had been wound up tight after being woken up so suddenly. Hoisting his arm over his head, he turned back to the living room. 

Bucky was met with a wide eyed stare from Paige, whose bottom lip had disappeared under her teeth. He narrowed his eyes at her, confused.

“Can you please go put your shirt on?” 

Bucky laughed when he heard her tone. He wasn’t going to wear it to bed, so he’d left the shirt in the dryer. Waggling his eyebrows at her, he casually lowered his arm back to his side. 

She frowned at him and buried herself deeper in the fleece blanket until only her eyes were peeking out, and they watched each other for a few moments. Paige tried to keep her glare up by staring at his nose (the eyes were too risky; sometimes her brain would short circuit if she looked too long) while Bucky was trying not to look too amused. He was about to give her a sly remark when his phone suddenly went off.

Both of their heads jerked towards the source of the sound. Bucky instantly recognized it as Steve’s ringtone. With a few long strides, he crossed the room and answered with a frown. Something was wrong if Steve was  _ calling _ him. 

“Hey, Steve.”

“Hey, Buck. Where are you?” He sounded concerned.

“I, uh,” Bucky hesitated as he glanced at Paige, who had uncovered most of her face and was watching with concern. “I’m at Paige’s place. Why, what’s wrong?” 

There was an awkward pause before Steve answered. “Paige’s place? Is she okay? Did—”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s fine. It was just late when we finished the movie last night, so I crashed on her couch.” 

They had discussed the night before about keeping what happened under wraps. It wasn’t like it was forbidden or anything; they just wanted to figure out their relationship between themselves before revealing it to the public. Well, not social media public, even though eventually that would happen—rumors had already started to swirl the first time they went out as friends, though F.R.I.D.A.Y. and Paige had been able to stamp them out before they got out of control—but to their coworkers and teammates. It was just weird for both of them if they had dozens of other people whose opinions did matter very much to the two of them crowding around and either giving them a hard time or fawning over them. Sam and Steve in particular. So, for now, it was just between Bucky and Paige. 

“Okay, okay,” he sighed, relieved. Bucky thought he heard something else in his tone that might have been amusement, but he didn’t get to ponder it for very long at all before Steve continued. “Sam and I were just worried. You were late—”

“Shit.” Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Morning run, yeah. I’m sorry, Steve. I probably should have texted you last night. That’s my bad.”

Content that everything was all right, Paige snorted and buried her head back in the blanket. Bucky rolled his eyes at her. 

“It’s all right. Just unusual for you, and Sam kind of panicked—”

Bucky heard Sam cut Steve off. “ _ I _ was not the one panicking, Cap.”

“Tomato, tomahto.” Bucky swore he could hear Steve waving his hand. 

“You were freaking out over me?  _ Aww _ . That’s really cute, Steve,” Bucky teased. Sam chortled sardonically in the background. 

Paige muttered, “Steve is really adorable.” A sideways annoyed glance only made her giggle.

“Do you want us to wait for you, or…?” Steve was pointedly ignoring Bucky’s jab.

“Um…” Bucky looked back at Paige, who raised an eyebrow. He contemplated joining them. He did love his morning jogs. Especially towards the end, when Sam was running out of breath and Bucky could dog the ever loving shit out of him before he and Steve raced off to finish their route. And it was part of his routine. Routines were important. However, the longer he stared into those honey brown eyes of hers, the easier it was to decide to say no. At least for today. 

But, before he could actually answer Steve, Paige whispered, “I can just go back to sleep. Use one of my travel mugs and go on your run.”

Well, maybe not. “Yeah, just gimme 30 minutes and I’ll be there.” A quick confirmation from Steve, then Bucky hung up. “So, you’re kicking me out?”

She frowned at him. “No, silly.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t let me stand in the way of your guy time. Besides, I’m still so tired.” As if right on cue, Paige let out a big yawn. “See?” she laughed.

He squatted in front of the couch and kissed her forehead. “I’ll come back with lunch and some spare clothes. Maybe a few goodies, too.”

“Oooh,” she hummed. “You know, I have been thinking a lot about those scones from—”

“The bakery down the street? Great minds think alike.”

He’d end up wishing he’d stayed with Paige that morning; Steve and Sam kept pestering him about what exactly had happened. 

_ This may be a little harder than I thought it would be. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this definitely isn't the end of these two! I've got lots more planned!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some somewhat pointless fluff, really.

**Late May**

Paige hadn’t been paying attention to the time. Well, she had, but she didn’t much care to move from her spot. It was too hot to be anywhere else in the apartment besides right here. She couldn’t believe that the whole building’s A/C broke right on a Friday—her Friday off—when she couldn’t be at the Compound for at least 8 hours a day in sweet, blissfully cool air. She had the option of going somewhere public like a cafe or the library where she could stay cool, yes. But she had no desire to actually go out in public. Her quota for that had been reached for the week.

Only Bucky was allowed to come over, because she’d never actually tired of his presence before. And they could plan on doing absolutely nothing but watch TV, tend to her plants, practice some drawing, maybe dance and make out a bit, and they’d both be perfectly happy. They’d done that the last two weekends, and it had been downright  _ wonderful _ . That’s probably what they’d planned on doing again. Paige was up for anything, really, so even if he’d wanted to go out and do something more productive (besides joining Steve and Sam for their runs and, once, her lunch with Rhodey), she’d be willing. The MOMA had been mentioned a lot lately.

Rather, she’d been willing when she had A/C.

Now, she was camped out in front of her fridge, door open but resting against her shoulder, sporting a loose tee and her sleeping shorts. Her head was resting against one of the shelves and her palms were facing upwards; they always got  _ so _ clammy.  _ I must look ridiculous. _

“Paige, where are you?” Bucky called out. She’d given him a key, but he hadn’t needed it since the door was—oddly—unlocked. He chalked it up to the fact that she knew he was coming. However, he quickly tossed that idea out the window when he walked into the kitchen and found her basically limp and halfway into the fridge.

Bucky instantly began to panic.

“Paige? Pagie holy shit—” He shot across the room and crouched down at her side. Assess the damage, figure out what happened, make sure she’s conscious—

“Hey, Bucky,” she drawled, smiling lazily up at him. 

His hands hovered over her arm. He didn’t see any marks on her exposed skin, besides the few faded little scars she’d gotten in a myriad of silly ways. She was awake, but he could feel that her skin was hotter than it should be. “What—are you okay?”

She sat up a little straighter when she registered the shakiness in his voice. “Yeah, yeah. Are you?” She reached up and took one of his hands in hers. He squeezed it.

Her face was flushed, but she looked alert enough for Bucky to relax a little. “I’m okay. What…ah, what are you doing?”

“A/C went out. It’s _fucking_ _hot_.” Her head lolled back against the shelf again and she sighed. She was starting to get too warm again, and it wasn’t entirely because of the weather. 

The tension left Bucky’s shoulders. “Yeah, it is. Don’t know why I didn’t realize it before.” 

“Because you’re always hot.” Bucky wasn’t sure which way he was supposed to take that, until she waved her hand and added, “Both ways you’re thinking of.”

“Am I now?”

“Don’t play dumb, pretty boy.”

“Who said I was  _ playing _ dumb?”

She laughed and sat up more. The fridge gave its “door open” warning beep before she could snark more. Paige frowned. That thing was so annoying. 

“God, this is miserable. There’s only like 2 times I don’t mind sweating.” She studied Bucky a moment while she thought. There was a glint in her eyes and Bucky knew what she was thinking. He flashed her a cheeky grin, but she just stuck her tongue out in response and held up her fingers as she ticked off the reasons. “I’m exercising. I’m at the beach. And stop looking at me like that. I’m already burning up enough.” 

Obviously she wasn’t going to actually say that last reason, so he let the joke slide. “Well… You could always come stay at my place this weekend…” Bucky offered while brushing her damp hair away from her skin. “It’s a lot cooler there. And since we’re not doing any of those things this weekend, you can avoid sweating entirely.”

Paige squinted. The thought had crossed her mind before, but there were a few issues with them being  _ there _ . But ugh, not dying of heat stroke was enticing, to say the least. “What about… like everyone else?”

“I’ll sneak you in, if you’re worried about it. I’m pretty good at that. And I know you don’t really want to do anything, so I don’t think we’ll have a problem with leaving the place without being noticed.”

Paige nodded. “True. I am lazy by nature.”

“That’s perfectly fine by me,” Bucky chuckled, then kissed her hand. “Come on, we can get some food on the way.”

“Good idea. But I need a shower first. I feel disgusting. And I  _ know _ I smell this time.”

* * *

Getting into Bucky’s place unnoticed was easier than Paige expected. The new apartment building had an underground parking garage and interior entrances, so it wasn’t like they had to walk across the lawns in full view of everyone. And it was around dinner time for the rest of the team; most of them were in the communal kitchen in the main part of the compound. Bucky still surveyed the area and asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. to double check for him before leading her up and into his place, feeling much like a teenager again. 

Once inside, Paige openly gawked at pretty much everything about the apartment. 

Tony absolutely  _ spoiled _ the Avengers. 

Not that he didn’t seem to spoil all of his friends and staff—Paige’s paycheck was  _ very _ nice. But Bucky’s on-site apartment was nicer than she was sure she’d ever be able to afford on her own. The decor was much like the rest of the facility’s communal areas: high-tech minimalist in some areas (the fully-equipped kitchenette and bathroom), warm and cozy and maybe a little cluttered in others (the bedroom and tiny laundry room, oddly enough). The living room was both of these and none of them all at once. It was an odd combination of styles, Paige admitted, but it worked. 

The floor-to-ceiling windows, which were now dimmed to keep her presence under wraps, made the space feel light and airy. She noticed several sketch books on the shelf next to one of the windows. It was obvious the view provided great inspiration, so she mentally added an easel and paint supplies to her list of potential presents for him. He didn’t have a lot of other personal items laying about, apparently choosing to keep most of that in his room. 

To top off all of the cool stuff, Bucky had a claw foot tub. A claw foot tub. Paige wasn’t sure she was ever going to leave. Why did he ever want to leave?

Bucky watched her explore, totally amused by how blown away she was. “It’s too much, really. It’s nice, but too much.”

“I’ve been in the old rooms. They were homey enough. And I knew the new building was gonna have nicer facilities, but I didn’t think he’d make them this nice.” She paused and scrunched her face. “I don’t know why that’s a surprise, really.”

“Me either. What I’m most surprised about is that he didn’t build a shitty one just for me. ...I don’t think I would have complained too much, actually. I did live in a hut in Wakanda for like a year. And worse places on the run. So this is… different.”

She stopped fiddling with the books on the bookshelf (lots of fiction and a few nonfictions on planets, the nerd) and looked at him. Something in his tone caught her attention. “Do you like it?”

He contemplated his answer for a moment. “It feels… empty sometimes. Some nights I don’t sleep well here. I’m used to being alone, but those spaces were smaller. Or there were goats and kids that would come see me. There’s basically an empty apartment between every occupied one here, so… It’s been an adjustment.”

“Are you okay, though?”

The question caught him off guard. “I… I think so. If I’m catching your meaning right.”

She laughed and made her way over to him. “Sorry, that was maybe a little too vague. What I mean is… Do you have nightmares because of the amount of space you have, or…?”

“No, no,” he assured her. “If I have nightmares, it’s not because of that. I’m okay. But I think I prefer having someone nearby. Someone special. That’s why I like the weekends so much.”

She threaded her fingers through his and rested her chin on his chest. “I thought you just liked my cooking and kicking my ass in Mario Kart.”

“You are terrible at it,” he laughed. He caressed her face with his free hand. She no longer seemed to mind unexpected contact, always leaning into the touch with very little to no hesitation. “But I think you know what I mean.”

“Mhm,” she agreed as she stood on her tiptoes to press their lips together. It was short and sweet before she pulled away reluctantly. “Sorry, Buck, I have  _ got _ to pee.”

He laughed and let her scamper to the bathroom, returning to unpacking their dinner. 

They’d spent most of the evening laughing over Chinese take-out while Bucky recounted the day’s antics, which had been mostly nothing unusual. Except that Peter had shown up just before Bucky left for the day, babbling about this girl at school named MJ. Paige thought it was adorable, and Bucky had too. 

“I told him to talk to you about it next time he sees you,” Bucky told her after he’d finished swallowing a mouthful of kung pao chicken. “You were a teenager once, right?”

She cocked an eyebrow at him. “Once, yeah. I don’t know what to tell him except to be himself. My high school experience was maybe a little different than theirs.”

He shrugged. “You’re not wrong.” His attention was still on her. She didn’t seem bothered, but… “Something you wanna talk about?”

Still unbothered. “No. It’s not like I was bullied. Self confidence issues we’ve talked about, yeah. Mine was fine otherwise. Had lots of friends, had fun. Peter just seems like a little more of a loner than I was. Also he’s way smarter and way more awkward and basically a superhero, to top it all off, so I’m not sure what useful advice I can give him,” she chuckled.

Satisfied with her answer, he turned back to his plate. “True. Kid’s a bit of a mess. And I should know.”

“Then why don’t you talk to him about it? You got the girl, after all.” 

He raised his eyes to meet hers. “Is that what happened? I thought you were just humoring me.” 

The cheeky grin while he chewed made her burst into a fit of laughter. Which was good because it covered up her blush. It was still weird sometimes to joke about their feelings this openly. Very nice, but still a little weird. At least to Paige. “You are very handsome, so I’d be lying if I said I was just humoring you.” she managed once her laughter had subsided. 

“Speaking of humoring me…”

“What’s up, my love?” She batted her eyelashes at him, fully expecting that his request was going to be something inane. A movie request, likely. 

Bucky’s heart had already sped up before he’d even asked his question, not really knowing what her answer was going to be. It almost stopped when she called him “my love”. They’d already said they loved each other, and even had one or two pet names. But that one struck Bucky a little harder, for some reason. He was finding it more difficult to ask his question the longer he stared at her.

“Hey, Bucky?” 

She was suddenly playing footsies with him under the table. That seemed to snap him out of his trance. “Sorry. I, um… Remember how I said it’s easier to sleep with someone nearby?” A nod. “Well, I don’t wanna make you sleep on the couch or anything, even though it is pretty comfortable, so I was wondering if you’d like to, y’know, sleep with me.”

Paige couldn’t contain her smile, though she wasn’t sure if it was due to her own nervousness or joy. He seemed nervous enough for the both of them, so she didn’t make the joke that was  _ right there _ . “Absolutely.” 

He grinned back at her, but it faltered a little as a thought occurred to him. “I don’t wanna hurt you. I’ve got F.R.I.D.A.Y. already set up to keep me from… moving around too much when I have nightmares. She’s monitoring me constantly when I sleep, so you won’t be in any danger.”

Her loving smile was  _ to die for _ . “Bucky, I’m not afraid of you. I do sleep like a rock, after all. You’ll be up before me anyway, so hopefully I won’t startle you awake again.” She took another bite of her food, then pointed her fork at him. “It’s good that you have that set up, though.”

“Planning ahead. I’ve thought about this a lot.”

The smile slipped into something much more flirtatious. “Oh, you have, have you?” That one was too good to pass up. His blush was definitely worth it.

“Maybe.”  _ Yes, but we’re not gonna talk about that right now. _

They eventually decided that, because Bucky had a TV in his room, they’d go ahead and crawl into bed. It allowed them to get comfortable without immediately trying to go to sleep; it always took both of them a while to, anyway. Though Paige was fairly tired after sweating and being miserable most of the day. 

“Your bathroom is just… so nice. I might never go back to my place.”

He looked up from his phone as Paige walked out, turning the light off. Bucky was already done getting ready, so he’d begun searching for something to watch. “I don’t think I’d mind that.”

“I don’t think I would, either,” she winked at him. She paused as she remembered something. Bucky watched her curiously and found that he was not prepared for what she did.

With the skill of someone who’d been doing it all her life, Paige yanked off her bra without taking off her shirt.

Bucky was… compromised. 

“You, uh… You sure you wanna sleep like that?” She was still wearing a baggy t-shirt and her yoga pants but… okay that didn’t make it any better at all. 

“This is always what I wear.” She made it sound so obvious, as if there was no problem at all. 

“Well, yeah, but…” 

She finally saw his face, and her cheeks went red. “Right, yeah. Well, just keep your hands to yourself and we’ll be fine,” she laughed. She had to say that because she wasn’t sure she’d actually tell him  _ no _ if he asked later, especially if he was looking at her like that. Like she was personally responsible for putting the sun in the sky.  _ I am  _ **_so_ ** _ weak. _

“Whatever you want, Paige.” Being told what to do was making it easier to regain his composure. Obviously he wouldn’t do anything without being asked to, but it was the principle of the thing. He’d have to let her know about that so she could keep him from getting too dazed. ...Later, when he could articulate thoughts better. 

“You decide on anything?” She carefully crawled into the bed with him and tucked herself into his left side. It felt right, curling up like that, even if she was suddenly much warmer. Bucky was like a goddamn furnace, and it never failed to surprise her for some reason. 

_ Oh, yeah _ . He’d forgotten about that for a moment. “Uh, I don’t know. Something educational? Talking to Peter today made me kind of miss school?” He sounded as confused about it as Paige was. 

“Really? God, I don’t miss it.”

“Understandable. I think I mostly just miss the learning part of it.”

“Fair. Good thing is, the Internet exists so you don’t actually have to go to school to keep learning. Most of the time.”

“True. And books.”

“Remind me to take you to the library soon and recommend some of my favorites. But for right now, what about like… Brain Games? I’ve only seen like 2 episodes but it really gets you thinking.” Which meant maybe they wouldn’t be thinking about making out or anything for a little while. And it worked, because they fell asleep dreaming of optical illusions, Paige curled up at Bucky’s side with his arm draped over her shoulders.

He had a really hard time the next morning making himself get out of bed for a run. She detached herself from his side sometime the night before and splayed out on the other half of the bed, looking very peaceful but also a little bit messy. And if he didn’t need to keep up the charade, he would have pulled her closer and gone right back to sleep.

The thought entertained him for most of his run, and he had a particularly hard time deflecting questions. But, with practice came ease, and he’d get good at it eventually. For now, though, he settled with running ahead of them, only slowing down to bug Steve right back about Sharon. Things seemed to be going well with them, and Stark had even offered her a place with the Avengers. She was still weighing her options, though. Bucky hoped she’d end up joining; he liked her, and, more importantly, so did Steve.

And when he did finally return to his apartment, her smiling face blinking blearily up at him from under the covers was motivation enough to endure a thousand mornings of Sam and Steve pestering him.


	10. Interlude - Tentative Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter written purely as practice for myself that takes place one of the first weekends Paige stays at Bucky's place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kinda came to me at like 6am one morning and I, for some reason, just had to write it down. It's just a fluffy little piece that helped me practice present tense from a couple months ago, since I'd only ever really written in past tense.

**Early June**

“We are not doing that again.”

“Tomorrow will be twice as long, then. Captain’s orders.”

A growl. “I’m gonna kill you.”

“Tried that twice and failed both times.”

“Third time’s a charm.”

“Well, good luck with that.”

“Fuck off, Steve.”

His shirt is peeled off the second the door shuts behind him. He’s always hated the feel of wet fabric sticking to sweaty skin, and today is no different. Add the fact that it’s muggy as hell outside with a longer-than-usual run and a very smug-about-the-whole-thing best friend, and you get one very sweaty and miserable Bucky. He’s so miserable, in fact, that he actually forgets he’s not home alone today. 

He’s just finished wadding up the now disgusting and smelly fabric into a wad when he hears a _clunk_ as that plastic water bottle she likes to carry around hits the floor. His eyes dart towards the sound to find Paige in his kitchen, pupils wide, mouth agape, and empty hand floating in midair. 

“Morning, sweetheart,” he beams. At the very least, he’s not expecting her to be out of bed at this hour. Or even awake for that matter. It’s all such a fantastic surprise after a grueling morning. And though he entered the apartment tired and desperate for a nap, the sight of her sweet self wearing one of his loose shirts and her sleep shorts, hair still messy from sleep, makes him want to put off the shower and nap for just a little longer. Even if only to chat for a few minutes. Or complain about how much he wants to strangle Steve again.

This seems to pull her back to reality as she disappears below the counter, stammering a broken greeting back. 

He tilts his head curiously and wanders towards her, but not before throwing the offending shirt into the open laundry machine. When he enters the kitchen, she’s stood back up from cleaning whatever few droplets of water managed to spill from her bottle. She’s beet red, and Bucky thinks it’s the cutest thing, though she won’t look directly at him, instead opting to fill her bottle. A wicked grin splits his face as he realizes exactly why. “You’re up early.” A little lower pitch than usual, but it gets the reaction he was looking for; he can see the tiny goosebumps forming on her arms. 

Clearing her throat, she nods. “Yeah, surprised myself too.” Her voice is scratchy, both from under use and embarrassment. 

He knows that he can do this later, after his shower, and likely get the same reactions, but the moment is so enticing, so why wait? He winds his metal hand carefully around her waist and bites back a laugh when she stiffens slightly and almost drops her bottle again. They’ve done this before, so he knows it’s okay, but it delights him that all he needs to do is disregard shirts to turn her into a fumbling mess. Gently, he turns her to face him. 

Both of his hands come down to rest lightly on her waist while she clings to the water bottle in a near death grip. “Everything okay?” he asks, nose pressed to hers.

“Mhm,” she mumbles. “You just… uh… don’t have a shirt on.”

Although he likes sleeping in just sweats and/or boxers, he’s been sparing her from this kind of reaction. She’s always staring at his arms when he wears tanks, so being shirtless seems like the right way to short circuit her brain. And it’s working like a charm right now. That’s filed away for later; he can use it as leverage to get out of mandatory public appearances. Or as payback for when she scrapes her nails across his left arm in that way that makes him dizzy.

“I don’t. Got a problem?” 

“Sort of.” There’s a short, breathy chuckle when he kisses her nose.

“Oh? So what are you gonna do about it?”

She leans back, the spell only partially broken, and sets her bottle off to the side, almost missing the counter completely because she’s too busy trying not to break eye contact. Trying to regain composure. “Well, my love, I feel like whatever I tell you to do, you—” 

The sentence hangs in the air, unfinished, her lips now too busy kissing him back. He was planning on letting her speak, get some more of their flirty repartee going, but he can’t be held accountable for his actions when she calls him that. 

The kiss is sweet—he can still taste her vanilla chapstick—though a little saltier than usual. But soft. So soft and wonderful. As he always reminds her that she is. Faintly, the sensation of her hands gripping his forearms registers. That, his biceps, and anywhere on his head are her usual spots, seemingly unsure if he’ll let her hands wander. And he likes those places. But it’s not where he wants her hands this time; he didn’t stay shirtless for nothing, after all. And she’s too shy to do it herself. Slowly he releases her waist, sliding his fingers down her arms and loving the goosebumps that follow before grabbing them instead. Guides them to his bare shoulders, then traces his fingers down them again before finally settling at her hips.

He’s sweaty and smelly, he knows it, hates it, and he almost considers tearing himself away for a shower. Almost. The feel of her hands gently roaming the broad, hardened planes of his chest is so damn nice that everything else can wait. She’s tentative, especially when she reaches his upper abs. A quick pause in the kiss to nod that _yes it’s okay,_ and she lets her hands continue their journey. It’s a struggle not to laugh when she sighs pleasantly, fingers dancing over his abdomen and to his sides. But the trails of fire her touch leaves in its wake are enough to keep his mouth firmly pressed to hers, lest he find himself making embarrassing noises. Well, ones worse than the little huffs he gives every few moments. Which is likely to happen once she reaches back up to his left shoulder—

And it happens. An involuntary, throaty groan. He just can’t help it. The scars are sensitive, and her hands are so tender and loving. Nothing like how he’s used to being touched there. Nothing like how he’s used to being touched anywhere between 1943 and now. Nothing like the medics of today, who are nice enough in their own right. But even that isn’t the same.

No, this kind of touch is _divine_. A class all its own. And maybe that’s just because it’s Paige.

She laughs after a few moments and pulls away. She knows what she’s doing; she’s done it before, but usually his reaction isn’t this bad. Even his knees are weaker now, which is embarrassing considering exactly who he is. Now’s not really the moment to care about that, though. It’s just the two of them. The sudden loss of her warmth is cause for him to whine. She only laughs harder and gently pats his left arm before whispering, “Go take a shower. You smell. And you’re kind of sticky.”

He cracks open his eyes finally and is met with her wonderful face. She looks almost as dazed as he feels, though her nose is wrinkled now. Another sigh escapes, although this time a dejected one, and he nods. Guess this is what he gets for trying to tease her. “Good idea.” The thought of asking her to join crosses his mind, but they’re not there yet. And that’s okay. He’ll gladly wait for her, especially if it means little moments like this. Where he can forget about the decades of bad touches, where he can melt into her touch, her laugh, her eyes. All things pleasant and loving and warm, where the only bad kind of cold in his life comes from how his bed feels the nights she’s not there.

And if he has any say in the matter, those empty nights will end much sooner than later. 

“Don’t rush. I’ll be here when you’re clean again. After all, I’m not done with you.”

She says that now, but he knows she’ll turn back into that flustered mess when he comes out of the bathroom. So he just winks back at her and hides his smile when her bottom lip disappears and she turns red again. _This is gonna be fun._


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Avengers! And some awkward interactions. ;)

**Early June**

“You guys act like whatever rules you have on Earth are the same everywhere else in the universe.”

“Lots of other planets don’t even have these types of laws.”

“Ah, yes. And most of those places are veritable shit holes, right? We have these laws for a reason. If left unchecked, our society would surely delve into chaos. I’m sure you’ll discover that the longer your colony stays on Earth. And I’m willing to bet your planet would have eventually followed the same path as this… Sakaar you’ve mentioned.” 

“That, Secretary Ross, is where you’re wrong. Sakaar is an outlier, and I’m pretty sure they overthrew their monarch, so it’s probably much better now anyway. Many of these  _ other _ planets are peace loving, and fantastic places to visit or move to. As a matter of fact, Asgard let refugees come and go freely, as long as they weren’t from a place we were actively at war with, and there were never any real problems.”

“Except ones that your brother caused. And your father. And your sister. Which happened to be a lot.”

“Yes, yes, okay, Valkyrie. I think they get your point.  _ My _ point is that we are no longer at war with other planets, and neither is Earth, and we already have an established home here at the consent of your United Nations, so I’m not sure why you and the rest of the Council want to put them through so much of your Earthly legal… mess when they’ve already been through enough. Our people just want a home.”

Paige kept her mouth shut. Being a native earthling and watching other countries do the whole  _ refugees and foreigners are dangerous _ thing for practically her entire life provided a clear understanding of how governments could be. And how much they liked control. 

Ross kept pressing. “You seem to be forgetting, Thor, that all of your people went through the same process when they arrived seeking asylum. Why should we treat stragglers any different?”

He had a point, as much as she hated to admit it. Paperwork and legal documents were basically the backbone of Earth society. So setting up the new residents with all of what they’ll need to assimilate into society here made sense. Even if they chose to stay in New Asgard and never venture out to any other country, it wouldn’t be an awful idea to have documentation. Putting them through all the other steps the Committee and other governments wanted to, however, was just unnecessary. 

Instead of listening to Thor and Valkyrie’s holograms argue with Ross’ hologram, she focused instead on flipping through her notes on the mission. Normally, the Accords Committee wouldn’t bother with the Guardians or Carol’s space missions; that was their territory, and unless it directly affected the Earthlings, they were left to their own devices. However, both the Guardians and Carol had received the same distress signal from a small group of Asgardians that were trapped on a hostile planet. And with New Asgard now located in Norway, this meant the mission fell under the Avengers jurisdiction. Which in turn lead to the argument currently happening over getting the stragglers that were on their way settled. 

This all wasn’t any concern of Paige’s, really. It wasn’t that she didn’t care—-she did—but she usually wasn’t invited to these meetings. The classified outer space stuff didn’t often make it onto social media in the first place, and, more importantly, it didn’t warrant a public briefing or any other such public appearances. 

So the only reason she was here was to make sure that the people involved in this mission didn’t openly talk about it on whatever social media equivalent they had in space. Some of the Committee members didn’t want to run the risk of word getting out that Earth was actively accepting literal alien refugees. And it was physically painful for her to resist rolling her eyes when they had debriefed her. Social media wasn’t really a thing the non-Earth based Avengers were too keen on, and even if they did, they’re mostly not dumb enough to post classified information. Mostly.

Her sentiments were thankfully shared by Tony, Steve, and Nat, who hadn’t spoken up much during this meeting, either. They settled for shared looks of disappointment and annoyance.

She’d already given her basic speech, so there was no reason to continue actively listening to the argument. Besides, she hated the sound of Ross’ voice. Instead, she opted to focus on double checking the ticket status for the Mets/Cardinals game the team was going to that night. So far, everything looked good, and only a few people had declined to go. Nat had just gotten back from a mission of her own the day before, Vision and Wanda weren’t into baseball and wanted to stay home, Clint was out on the lake with his family for the week, Bruce had cooped himself up in his lab again and wasn’t keen on going in the first place, and Peter and May were on a cruise that Tony had paid for personally. Everyone else who lived at the facility was going, including Sharon (who Paige was looking forward to spending more than ten minutes with) and Pepper. 

Eventually, the arguing subsided, the meeting was adjourned, and several holograms began fizzling out. Thankfully Ross and the Committee were first, leaving all of the other active Avengers to stand around and chat for a little while.

“So he’s a real asshole.”

“Did you not get that sense when you first met him?” Quill asked, turning to look at Valkyrie.

“I get it, I do, but it’s not just him,” Steve shrugged.

“I think everyone in this room—physically or otherwise—shares the sentiment, but Cap’s right.” Tony waved his hand around. “This isn’t just his doing. Governments here on Earth, are, well…”

“Like that,” Paige offered. “And they have half a point. Half. It’s important they do some of this stuff.”

“And I thought the Krylorians had weird rules.” Rocket crossed his arms.

“Well, you can’t always teach an old dog new tricks. It’s almost always been like this,” Nat noted, not looking up from her own tablet. 

“Just glad  _ we _ don’t have to do all that nonsense,” Quill said, a little too happy about it all.

“And on that front, you are lucky,” Thor grumbled. 

“Anyway,” Steve announced. “Thanks for at least not cussing him out or anything.”

“Do you take me for a brute, Rogers?”

“Oh, no, I’m pretty sure he was referring to me,” Valkyrie corrected without a hint of shame. 

Everyone started laughing when Steve just shrugged in response. 

“Well, I’m gonna go take a nap,” Natasha sighed, stretching before standing and heading for the door. “All this bureaucratic nonsense wears me out worse than missions. I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

“And I think I need a drink,” Tony mused, following behind her.

“Tony, it’s like 10:30,” Paige protested lightly.

He simply flashed her a smile and shrugged before he disappeared from view. 

Paige’s mood had lightened significantly now that the Committee had left. She turned to Steve and asked, “So, like, once you reach a certain age, do you just start drinking first thing in the morning? Is this an old people thing?”

“I think it’s just a Tony thing,” he replied.

“What, you never went to college?” Carol asked.

“Oh, I did, but drunk me is, well, the same as sober me. Except for maybe a little less… stiff. I prefer to be sober and watch drunk people get weird. You know, mother hen the hell out of them.”

“Me too,” Steve agreed, flashing her a knowing smile. It took  _ a lot _ to get Steve drunk (Asgardian mead seemed to do the trick), but Paige guessed his aversion to it went back to even before the serum. 

Valkyrie scoffed, “You guys are boring. No wonder you get along.”

“I consider that a compliment,” Paige beamed. 

“Now you sound like Maria,” Carol laughed. “We used to get drunk, but she was always the responsible one, no matter how much she’d had.”

“You’ve said that name before,” Steve mused in a tone that suggested he wanted clarification, since she obviously wasn’t talking about Hill.

Carol seemed to realize that she’d never actually explained who that was. “Oh, uh, well she’s my partner. Maria Rambeau.”

_ Well, that should have been obvious from the first time she mentioned her. _ Paige felt dumb for not figuring that out sooner. “Cool! Are we gonna meet her?”

Carol smiled. “Yeah, eventually. Stark mentioned something about a Fourth of July party?”

Steve chortled, “He likes  _ everyone _ to be there. Not surprised he invited you guys.”

Paige threw her arm around Steve’s waist and squeezed. “And it’ll be Steve’s birthday! So even if you don’t come for Tony specifically, at least come to wish the birthday boy a good day. How old are you gonna be again?”

He rolled his eyes and put his arm around her shoulders. “A hundred.”

“Damn, dude.” Quill blinked. “I mean I like really vaguely remember you from school, but I didn’t realize you were  _ that _ old.”

Thor snorted, but didn’t say anything.

“Yeah, well, a few decades in the ice tends to do wonders for your body.”

“Funny how some of the oldest people here are the best looking,” Paige hummed. She looked at Thor and Valkyrie, then back up at Steve, winking. 

Steve raised an eyebrow at her, but didn’t voice his immediate thought. And he filed away the fact that she hadn’t moved away from his side yet for later. “That’s a weird way to compliment people.”

“So it’s gonna be a big party.” Paige turned back to the holograms. “Don’t forget to bring presents! Oh, and dates! I wanna meet everyone’s S.O.”

“No presents, please—”

“S.O.?” Mantis asked, tilting her head and leaning forward. Paige really needed to have another major sit down with them about the important parts of Earth culture. 

“Significant other. You know, like Maria is to Carol.” She motioned at each person as she spoke. “Or Quill to Gamora. Or Sharon to Steve.”

“That sounds better than what we call him,” Rocket mumbled snidely. 

“I am Groot.”

“I thought we agreed never to bring that up again!” Quill’s eyes went wide as the other Guardians and Thor snickered. 

“And what about you?” Carol asked, ignoring them and looking at Paige, arms crossed but not closed off.

Paige managed an innocent smile, not noticing how Steve was now watching her curiously. She was too busy trying to stay normal about the whole thing. “Nah, nobody special for me.”

Drax was the first to speak up, and he sounded mildly confused. “Really?”

“Nobody at all? What about Bucky? Or Sam? I don’t know Sam that well, but you guys seem close.” Carol was now wearing one of those signature smirks. “And Bucky seems to like you.”

Paige didn’t like that tone or her expression, but she just laughed and held up her hand. “Nah, we’re all just friends and coworkers. You know how I am about coworkers. I did tell you what happened last time.” She kept her voice relaxed. It still wasn’t the right time to tell everyone, and the baseball game was going to be a challenge enough.

Steve watched her carefully, catching the way her cheeks were rosier than normal at the mention of Bucky. He’d ask about the coworker comment later and spend whatever amount of time he needed to convince her that Bucky was worth it, and maybe throw hints that she should make a move if he didn’t soon. Also warn her about hurting him, too, because poor Bucky was definitely head over heels, even though he hadn’t done anything about it. Might wanna get onto him a little more.

Carol’s voice went softer. “You and I both know they aren’t like that asshole. But if you want, I can probably bring someone else with me. What’re you into? I for sure know some women up here, think I can scrounge up a few good men too. And a few with no specifically defined Earthly genders.” 

“Ah, yes.” Thor clapped, then pointed at Paige. “If we’re playing matchmaker, Valkyrie and I could bring a few candidates? Anyone else there single and ready to mingle, as you earthlings say? What kind of people should I bring?”

“I think we might know some people, too,” Gamora added. “Nice people.”

Okay, might wanna get onto Bucky a lot more, Steve decided. And Paige looked suddenly very uncomfortable. This wasn’t good.

“But probably no A’askavariians. I didn’t get along too well with them, so they might not have a good impression of us…” Quill said, more to Gamora than anyone. 

“That was you?” Carol asked incredulously. “No wonder they were so aggressive at first.”

Drax and Rocket began cackling, and Paige just looked at Steve with an arched brow. His face read  _ I don’t want to know _ . Which was fair. Paige turned back to the Guardians to find them arguing amongst themselves again. 

Carol rolled her eyes. “Anyway, what’s your type, Halcomb?”

She wanted to reply “tall, dark, handsome, metal arm” but settled for, “I’m up for whatever, but for now I think I’m good. Thanks guys, really. I don’t think y’all need to bring anyone with you. Unless you really want to. But don’t worry about me, please.” She looked pointedly at Valkyrie and Thor, who raised his hands up in surrender. Under different circumstances, she just might have taken up their offers.  _ Might _ . But that time had long since passed. Now, it was time to divert the attention to somewhere other than herself. She was getting very uncomfortable. This type of conversation had always made her uneasy, even before she ever met Bucky. “So, what about you guys? I mean, besides you two,” she pointed between Gamora and Quill, “anyone else have any dates they’d like to bring?”

“Didn’t you mention that there was some monarch that took a liking to you, Nebula?” Steve asked. Paige saw a playful glint in his eyes and stifled a snort.

Nebula shifted uncomfortably, and Rocket was laughing now, “Man that woman was  _ so _ persistent.”

“It’s not funny,” Nebula scolded, swatting at him. “I was highly uncomfortable.”

“Oh, god. Did she start stalking you or something?” Paige grimaced. She side eyed Steve because stalking was never a funny matter. But his face read that he didn’t know it went that far. So she let it pass. 

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

“Is there someone I need to take care of for you?” Carol asked in all seriousness. “Not that you can’t do that yourself.”

“No.” Nebula looked shyer than Paige had ever seen her before. After a brief pause, she added, “Thank you, though.”

Gamora turned her attention away from Nebula. “And to answer your question, Paige: no, no other dates for us.”

“Thor, Valkyrie?” When they shook their heads, she nodded and spread her hands out in front of her casually. “All righty then. If anything comes up in the meantime, shoot me an email. Or call me, whatever. I’m almost always available. But don’t forget to get Steve some presents. Anything an old man would probably like—“

“Paige.”

* * *

“So what the hell does the peach emoji mean?

“Jesus Christ, Barnes.”

“Why do you… did Peter send you that?”

Bucky presented his phone to Paige and Sam, which had his message history with Parker displayed, scrunching his face in that adorable way he did when he was confused. “Yeah, he said something about how this one guy on the cruise was being rude to someone else, and then he just said he was a real peach and black dot.”

Paige was laughing hysterically. So much so, that she couldn’t respond. Luckily, Sam was there to explain.

“The peach emoji means ass. Usually it’s meant to be more suggestive than that. He’s probably calling the guy an asshole.”

“Why is he using emojis to say  _ asshole _ ?” Bucky pursed his lips and looked back at his screen. “I’ve heard him say  _ fuck _ before.”

“Kid’s weird. And stupid.” Sam shook his head and looked back at the field. “No wonder you two get along.”

“Are you  _ still _ mad about the airport?”

“No.” 

Bucky was unconvinced. He gave a soft snort and rolled his eyes.

Paige’s laughter had calmed down enough that she was able to add, “I would say May’s probably trying to get him to ease up on the language, but she’d be one to talk.” She shrugged. “Which means he’s either trying to curb himself, or he’s just trying to confuse you.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow and looked at Paige out of the corner of his eye. “Well, that’s what I have you two for.”

She leaned over and tapped at his screen. “Here, send him this back.”

“ _ Don’t you mean a real eggplant? _ ” He looked at her, eyes squinted. “So what does  _ that _ one mean?”

Paige cleared her throat in an attempt to hide her laughter. “Dick.”

Bucky leaned his head back in a half groan, half laugh. “God, youth culture these days.”

“You’re such a fuckin’ old man,” Sam teased, rolling his eyes. 

“Hey, watch your language,” Rhodey chided, looking pointedly over at Steve. “Cap’s right there.”

Even though he was on the complete other side of the box, Steve definitely heard him, and when he snapped his head towards them with a very disgruntled expression, nobody could contain their giggles. Especially when he mouthed, “Fuck off,” at Rhodey. 

The game had been going surprisingly well, despite Paige’s apprehension about the whole thing. And not just on the field. She and Sharon had spent most of the first few innings chatting away, and as reserved as they both naturally were, they got along fairly well. Eventually, though, Sam tore her away to watch the game and keep him company. In his own words, “Bucky’s being his usual self and I desperately need to talk to someone with some sense.” Paige had laughed and happily settled down in the seat between them, careful to keep her hands on her drink and not reach out to hold Bucky’s hand. They sat together for several more innings, joking and listening to Bucky reminisce about how different the game itself was nowadays; Sam only occasionally made fun of him. It always fascinated her to hear first-hand accounts of how things were in the Forties, especially when it came from Bucky, so she was intently listening. She may have been a little biased about that. The night was shaping up to be much less stressful than she thought it might, surrounded by people who kept trying to push her and Bucky together. So far, it had been a lot of fun.

And then it happened.

Paige so,  _ so _ regretted agreeing to Tony’s suggestion of sitting on the porch of their VIP box. It was just cool enough that they didn’t need to stay inside with A/C to be comfortable, but if she’d known this was going to happen, she probably would have booked it. Or at least moved seats, stood off in the corner,  _ something _ .

Everyone else had eventually taken the available seats, and in between innings, the video board lit up with the Kiss Cam. Much to their chagrin, the cameraman found Steve and Sharon.

They kissed shyly and quickly, then, after a round of hoots, hollers, and whistles from everyone in the box and the rest of the crowd, it landed on Pepper and Tony. 

Paige’s heart and mind began racing. 

_ Shit. This is not going to end well.  _

Goddamn Mets camera operators. Of course they were going to keep looking in the box for more victims. Of course Bucky would be too amused by how embarrassed his best friend was to realize what was going to happen. Of course she was the only other woman there, so of course they’d skim over any of the other Avengers, who would have been much better and more fun targets anyway. And  _ of course _ Paige would be too frozen in panic that she would start to get up a little too late.

She shouldn’t have been so surprised at it all, really. It was just her luck. The camera operators were probably expecting her and Bucky to kiss, since he did have his arm slung over the back of her chair and was inclined ever so slightly in her direction. In theory, that sounded very nice; Bucky looked handsome as hell as always, especially decked out in Mets gear and wearing that stupid, giddy grin on his now clean shaven face.

But this was not the time or place for it. 

Bucky looked very confused when he finally noticed Paige’s body language, discomfort rolling off her in almost palpable waves. He opened his mouth to ask, then suddenly whipped his head towards the scoreboard, where he and Paige—and most of Sam’s face—were looking right back at him. There was a time where he might not have minded all the attention that was now riveted on him, all the cheers and whistles from beside and below him. But not anymore. Now, all he felt was the strong desire to immediately shrink like Scott and Hope could. Maybe he’d sneak away to San Francisco and “borrow” those Pym particles or whatever for any future situations like this.

And, to top off all the embarrassment he and Paige were already feeling, Sam, instead of taking the route that would have caused the most laughs (leaning to his left and kissing Rhodey on the cheek), leaned over, cupped a hand on the right side of her face to hold her in place, and planted an annoyingly sweet kiss on her left cheek.

Despite her obvious distress at the whole situation, Paige laughed and pushed him away good naturedly, shaking her head and giving him a smack in the chest for good measure. She was pretty sure she was redder than the Cardinals’ jerseys and did not feel good about that at all, but held on to her composure well enough.

Bucky didn’t care that Sam kissed her on the cheek or put his hands on her face. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last, and Paige had mentioned that she didn’t mind it from him. What he did care about was that fucking look Sam was wearing  _ and _ that he’d done it in front of, essentially, the whole world. That would cause more headaches for her, and probably both Sam and Bucky, even if they weren’t personally on social media. His jaw began ticking and he could see in Sam’s eyes that he knew what was going to happen later. 

Nothing violent. Just a stern talking to about making Paige’s life harder. But still a conversation Sam would not enjoy. However, despite the knowing glint in Sam’s eyes, he didn’t let up with the teasing look.

Some of Bucky’s anger faded when Paige excused herself and swiftly made her way back inside. As much as he wanted to follow, he didn’t, settling for watching her until she was out of view. At least she didn’t look that upset. Embarrassed, yes. But okay enough that he felt comfortable letting her leave. So he turned back to Sam and gave him an even deeper frown, muttering half-hearted curses in several languages. 

She returned a few minutes later with a brand new glass of wine, plopping down between them again and interrupting their mostly playful bickering. Bucky guessed that her slightly more relaxed demeanor had something to do with the wine and her innate ability to calm herself down. 

Unfortunately, it would only help for that night. The next few days would be filled with skimming through a few tweets and posts, replying via the official Avengers accounts when necessary and feeling the constant desire to slam her head into the nearest wall at full force. Not every comment was nice, and though she’d long ago learned how to effectively brush off the negativity, the rest of her week was the most anxiety ridden that it had been in a long time. She hadn’t felt like this since that week that essentially broke apart the Avengers. Even then, nothing had been directed at her; it was about what was going to happen to her friends, the world. Things she could handle worrying about. She didn’t have time or patience or energy to slip back into very old and long forgotten self-loathing. She was determined to work through this as best she could, ignoring the almost certain possibility that this wouldn’t be just a one-time thing. 

Eventually Sam made his way into her office and requested that Paige have someone make a tweet for him explaining the situation, since his phone would not stop blowing up asking things like  _ who is she? Why they haven’t gone public yet?  _ And _ are they actually a thing?  _ Sam was tired of constantly responding to texts and emails personally; it was way too time consuming and annoying as hell. Paige had been going through that same thing with people she wasn't close to; humans get very nosy and personal when they think they might know someone famous. 

The public would figure out who she was eventually—she’d been on camera briefly before at press conferences, and it wasn’t like her job  _ required _ her own anonymity. And she’d been thinking about asking for Sam’s permission to comment on the whole thing—or telling him  _ he _ needed to make some sort of statement. So now that she basically had his approval, she waved her hands, and good old F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded that she would take care of things. Sam thanked her earnestly and deposited two cacti and a succulent Paige had never seen before on her desk. Then another kiss on the cheek before she shooed him out of her office. 

“Just so you know, you’re perfect.” He’d winked at her and seemed to want to elaborate more, but left her office half a second later with a look she couldn’t figure out. 

She had a feeling what he said didn’t have to do with what had been eating at her lately, but something else entirely. But she didn’t ask for clarification and figured she might not want to know.

Her mood lightened a little after that, but it wasn’t until Friday night came around and she was wrapped up in Bucky’s arms for the night that she felt truly better.

“It’s gonna be such a struggle if we ever decide to start going out on actual public dates. Or even at these events. I rarely ever look good in candid photos.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows at her. “I think you always look good.”

“You’re biased.”

“Maybe,” he chuckled softly. “Does it make me wrong?”

She didn’t answer right away, opting to ponder that for a moment. “Not really.”

“You know, I’m perfectly fine doing as few public dates as possible. Besides, I think with my status as an Avenger, I might be able to get a few private reservations at places. So we don’t have to go all out.”

“I don’t  _ want  _ to go all out, so that sounds fine with me.” She snuggled in closer to him, and his arms tightened around her in response. “I’ve never had the desire to be a celebrity. I’m much happier being reclusive. Maybe eventually I can reach cryptid status.”

“ _ That _ sounds ideal.” He pressed his cheek to her head. “Why don’t we both become local cryptids? The only time the public sees me is the occasional mission I take and those galas. Even then, I’m only gonna go to those things for Steve and because they’re for good causes. And because you’ll be there.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” They sat in silence for a few minutes, absently watching TV until Paige remembered something. “Did I tell you that one of the tweets I saw the other day thought we were together, but broke up and now I’m with Sam for some reason? The sheer drama of it all.”

His deep laugh shook her and the couch, and she couldn’t help but laugh along. “They’re only about a third right.”

“Yeah, if I left you for anyone, it would be Sam.”

“You cut me real deep, Paige.”

“That was the goal, my dear.” 

“You’re cruel.” He poked her in the side, causing her to squeak and elbow him in the ribs.

“Speaking of Sam…”

“I’m starting to actually worry you’re gonna try and leave me for him.”

“No,” she chuckled. “He just... He said something earlier this week that confused me a little. It’s probably nothing.” 

“Yeah, he called you and Sharon that when he was trying to convince Stevie and me to ask you out. And he did it again this week to me. He is relentless,” Bucky said once Paige had explained. “He’s gonna be so mad when we finally tell him.”

“Yeah he will. And okay, good, because I know he doesn’t like me like that so I was real confused about that whole thing.”

“And you still plan on leaving me for him? I don’t see that lasting too long.”

“ _ Bucky Barnes _ .”

After some more laughter, another comfortable silence settled between them, though it didn’t last very long. Eventually Paige spoke up again. “Just so you know, no matter how bad this shit storm gets, I’m not actually gonna leave. I think I love you too much for that. And my job. I can always just pass off the social media stuff to someone else and deal with just press conferences and my other duties. I’ll work something out so that I don’t end up wanting to rip my hair out.”

He tilted her head up with his finger so he could look into her eyes. There was a brief pause before he spoke when he got lost in the affection swimming in her eyes. It took his breath away every single time, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to it. “I love you, too. And I’m sorry you even have to deal with this.” He was going to continue apologizing, but the stern look on her face silenced him on the matter. So he continued with, “Look, if it takes building a cabin in the middle of nowhere and staying there 24/7 to keep us happy, I’m more than willing. Seems to work for the Bartons. So I’m game.”

“I don’t think we have to go that far. But same. For now, though, this is fine with me. I mean, the sneaking around will have to end, but these weekends are nice. And since we’re not really paying attention to  _ Mythbusters _ and I’ve been dying to do this all week, can we please make out now?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just an excuse for me to write T'Challa again.

**Mid June**

Paige wasn’t surprised to hear music from one of his favorite Lo-Fi Hip-Hop stations when she walked into Bucky’s apartment. Nobody batted an eyelash about that anymore. She was surprised, however, to hear his oven timer going off. He’d asked her to spend the weekend at his place, but also mentioned that he was going to run errands before she got off, so she thought they were just going to do take out and play video games or watch TV. She’d also hoped he’d give her more drawing lessons. Those were always such nice evenings. 

“Hey, what’s this timer for?” She shucked her bag of toiletries onto the end table by the door and made her way into the empty kitchen.

Bucky’s voice drifted from his bedroom. “The noodles.”

That made sense, since they were the only thing actively cooking on the stove. Paige turned the timer and eye off and pulled out the strainer, muttering to herself, “Ah, the nood-lays.” She dumped the contents of the pot into said strainer and chuckled to herself. “The  _ noods _ .” She had trouble not laughing at her own joke as she called out, “Hey, Bucky, I’ve got your  _ noods _ .”

“ _ Paige _ ,” Bucky chastised. He was suddenly much closer than Paige remembered, so she squeaked and nearly dropped the pot. Bucky laughed, then lowered his voice to where only she could hear. “It’s not just us tonight.”

She looked up at him, nose scrunched and face flush with realization that someone else might interpret her joke wrong. “Who else is here?” She hadn’t seen anyone when she entered the apartment. So—

“What… Nudes? Do I need to leave you two alone?” 

Paige and Bucky’s heads both turned to find T’Challa in the doorway of Bucky’s room, looking awfully confused. Paige didn’t think she’d ever been more embarrassed. She couldn’t figure out an appropriate response fast enough for her liking and worried that too long of a pause would only make things more awkward. Thankfully, Bucky was there to pick up her slack.

He pointed to the strainer in her hands and explained, “Noodles.”

“You know, nood-lays? I have like a billion weird names for foods. Sorry if that sounded wrong!” she laughed as her brain finally regained functionality. 

T’Challa visibly relaxed and he sported that signature smirk of his. “Well, that sounds like someone else I know.” He inclined his head behind him. Paige frowned again when she registered that there was someone else there besides T’Challa. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bucky look at her expectantly. 

Another voice rang out from the bedroom, also obviously Wakandan. However, this one sounded younger and more feminine. “Thank Bast. I was getting worried that all you adults were being gross.” 

Paige recognized Shuri’s face the instant she appeared from behind T’Challa, and she was excited. But, she definitely hadn’t expected either of them to be there, which may have contributed to her sudden lack of social skills. There’d been no email or anything saying they would be showing up. That meant this was most likely an unofficial visit. T’Challa didn’t do a lot of those these days… 

Something shiny caught Paige’s eye. Shuri was holding... 

Bucky’s arm.

She’d been too busy with the noodles and her bad joke to realize Bucky’s left sleeve was just hanging loosely.  _ Oh, wow. Way to be observant. I’d get us killed if I was ever out in the field. _

Bucky seemed to read her thoughts on her face when she focused on him. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Some people are just more observant than others.” His tone was way more mocking than sympathetic.

She lightly smacked his available arm and stuck her tongue out. She’d get him back later for that. For now, though, she needed to address the fact that she hadn’t greeted either of their guests. She turned to find T’Challa looking very intrigued, while Shuri looked confused. “I’m so sorry, I haven’t even said hi.” She walked over to them and gave a miniscule bow. She knew that wasn’t really custom with them, but she couldn’t help it. They were royalty. “It’s great to see you again, T’Challa!” she chirped. 

“And it’s always a pleasure to see you, too, Paige,” he greeted back warmly, extending his arms out for a hug that was quickly received. Things had gotten busy for the King; they hadn’t been able to talk as much lately, unfortunately. T’Challa seemed to be thinking the same thing. “The gala feels so long ago.” The embrace ended, and T’Challa motioned at his sister. “By the way, this is my sister, Shuri. Shuri, this is Paige Halcomb.”

“ _ Ndiyavuya ukukwazi, _ ” Shuri greeted in Wakandan. “These two have told me a lot about you, so it’s nice to actually meet you.” She grinned and stuck out a hand. Only, it wasn’t her hand, it was Bucky’s. 

“Shuri.” T’Challa lightly bumped her shoulder, sounding like a mother trying to wrangle in an unruly child. Shuri lowered the arm and pouted.

Paige laughed. Oh, she already liked Shuri. “Likewise, Princess. It’s easy to see why you’re like Bucky’s favorite person.”

“Is that so?” Shuri glanced quickly between Paige and Bucky. 

Paige was instantly nervous. The look on Shuri’s face screamed that she knew there was something between them. Paige was very quick to try and change the subject. “So, Bucky’s arm comes off?”

“Yeah, and nobody told me about that when they first gave me the arm,” Bucky said, not looking up from where he was chopping green onions. He was surprisingly efficient. Paige considered herself a great cook, but she definitely would have found that hard to do with one hand. Then again, practice makes perfect. “So imagine my panic when Shuri, without any warning whatsoever, reaches under my arm, presses something, and it just fucking pops off.” Bucky winced when he realized what he’d said and quickly added, “Sorry.”

Shuri didn’t seem to care about his language. “Oh, you big baby. T’Challa was supposed to tell you when he delivered it, but at least now you know.”

“You didn’t actually show me how to do it, and we were pressed for time!” T’Challa protested.

“I did, too!”

Now that Shuri’s attention had been diverted, Paige stole a glance back at Bucky. He seemed to feel her gaze, turning to smirk at her. Her heart skipped a beat as it always did when he fixed her with that look. Well, maybe she'd forgive him for not giving her a heads up about dinner guests. Before she got caught staring, she turned her attention back to Shuri and T’Challa.

“Well, whatever. It’s a good thing he hasn’t needed it to come off until now,” Shuri huffed.

“What’s wrong with it now?” Paige asked, suddenly concerned.

“Oh, nothing. I just wanted to update it. It works just fine, but I want it to work  _ better _ . And I can only really do that in person. I also had a few things to add to it.” Shuri held up the arm to show it off proudly.

“Which is why she pestered me to come visit,” T’Challa added.

“Plus, I did miss my favorite broken white boy.”

Bucky looked up at that. “Is there another broken white boy I should know about?”

“What’d you add to it?” Paige interrupted, taking a step closer for inspection. 

This brought Shuri’s attention back to the arm. “Well, now he can interface with certain technology. It operates much like a kimoyo bead,” she added for Bucky, who grunted in understanding. “It can also project a personal shield, which I’ll show you how to activate later.”

“After dinner,” T’Challa reminded her. 

“After dinner,” Shuri repeated, rolling her eyes. “I thought about making it just like Captain America’s, but that’s so impractical. It’s like the size of a dinner plate!” she finished in a German accent. There was now a goofy grin on Paige’s face. Shuri immediately recognized the look and responded with a grin of her own. “You get it!”

“Of course! That’s one of my favorite vines!” Paige laughed.

T’Challa looked  _ tired _ .

“You’re right, I do like her, Bucky,” Shuri called out.

“Told you,” Bucky beamed.

Paige was glad to still be laughing, because it likely hid her blush. Sheesh, would she ever stop doing that?

Shuri got herself back on track after a few seconds of giggling. “This shield is much bigger. It should cover your whole body. You can thank me later.”

“I’ll do that right now, actually,” Bucky called over his shoulder. “Thank you, Shuri. You’re the best.”

“I know I am. Oh, also, there’s more feeling in it now.”

Paige  _ did not _ look at Bucky. Though, she could practically  _ feel _ him stiffen from across the room. Unbeknownst to her, Bucky decided that he wasn’t going to let her touch that arm until maybe she forgot about what Shuri said. She was just going to torture him.

“It won’t hurt like an actual arm will when it gets injured, though. I made the pain receptors automatically shut off at the first sign of significant damage. Obviously you’ll still be able to use it like normal after that.”

Paige was constantly blown away by the things Bucky had told her about Wakanda, technology and all. Tony’s inventions were all fantastic, too, and Paige felt blessed to be constantly surrounded by such impressive technology and brilliant people. And she regularly let them know how awesome it all was. She’d add Shuri to that list. “That’s all so amazing, Shuri,” she breathed. “You’re a genius.”

“Don’t make her head any bigger than it already is.”

Shuri shot a look at T’Challa. “Don’t listen to him. He’s just jealous that I got the brains in the family.”

Bucky eventually got his arm back. Shuri showed them how to reattach it, which was fairly easy as long as the angle was correct. She assured them that it wouldn’t just pop off by itself, which seemed fairly obvious to Bucky. It was still nice to have the confirmation, though. 

He knew he didn’t need to make anything special (which T’Challa had kept telling him, even though it fell on deaf ears), but he felt the need to make the one Wakandan dish he’d been good at. Nobody openly complained, and Paige seemed to love it, so Bucky considered it a success. Especially since there had been no shortage of laughter long after the food disappeared into full bellies. Bucky knew Shuri would be the life of the party, and she didn’t disappoint. 

“So,” T’Challa began in a low whisper. Shuri had pulled Paige to the side to show her footage of her lab and some of the less-secretive inventions she’d been working on while T’Challa and Bucky cleaned up the kitchen. Bucky had tried to be a good host and do everything himself, but T’Challa wasn’t going to be useless.

Bucky didn’t like his tone. “What?”

“Bucky,” T’Challa challenged gently. “I have a fiancée. I know what it looks like when someone’s in love. You’ve bugged me enough about it. You don’t have to pretend around me.”

He couldn’t really argue with him. He settled for sighing as he scrubbed. “Fine, fine.”

T’Challa smirked. “Well, are you two still dancing around it or…?”

Bucky shook his head. “No, we’ve been… We had a talk while back. Turns out she feels the same.” His face was now very warm and T’Challa looked highly amused. “We’re just taking it slow. We’ve both got issues. I’m also kind of in the public eye, which makes things weirder...”

T’Challa instantly understood. He knew a little of what that was like. “It’s not easy.”

“No, but it’s easier with her. With friends.” Bucky put down the dish and looked at T’Challa. His voice was quiet, but full of emotion. “I owe you. I owe you both. I don’t think I can ever repay you. But I’m not going to stop trying.”

T’Challa held up a quieting hand. “No, you owe me nothing. I was… correcting a mistake. My mistake, and my ancestors’. And helping someone who needed it. It was my choice. I don’t regret it. And you shouldn’t, either.”

Bucky felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes, but he blinked them back. T’Challa and Shuri’s kindness had offered him a second chance at life, to do good and help fix all the trouble he’d helped cause. It had been a slow process, the recovery, but he hadn’t expected it to be fast or easy. He also hadn’t expected to have so many other people trust him so completely. There had never been any hesitation from anyone when Bucky felt ready to join them on missions, even Tony. Any awkwardness between them was usually Bucky’s fault. But he was working on it. And the fact that he could work on it at all was a miracle in and of itself. 

Bucky would spend the rest of his life thanking people, and it would still never feel like it was enough.

T’Challa saw the thoughts and emotions swimming in Bucky’s eyes and was quick to try and keep things from getting too intense. “We’re not going to get emotional while they’re having fun, my friend,” he said, clapping a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

Bucky chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Come on, I have some new Steve stories.”


	13. Chapter 13

**July 4th**

As expected, Stark’s Fourth of July Extravaganza was… extravagant. And packed. That may have had something to do with the fact that it was also Steve’s 100th birthday. Steve had even mentioned that he wasn’t expecting it to be  _ this  _ big. Every enhanced person the Avengers had ever had contact with were present. In addition to the various superheroes, a number of caterers, agents, scientists, doctors, nurses, and any other manner of facility employees and the friends and family they brought were there. (Bucky wanted to invite Becca and her family, but she had gone to Boston to visit her son, saying she’d catch up with Steve and him when they got back.) So there were  _ way _ more people than normal. And though the facility could definitely handle the large influx of bodies, it still made Bucky feel less than comfortable. 

Steve and Bruce—who also looked about the way Bucky felt—had taken it upon themselves to introduce him to the people Bucky had personally never met, like Valkyrie, Dr. Stephen Strange, and a man named Wong. The latter two were... wizards? Bucky was only half listening when they’d been introduced, a little too overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people on the lawn. Wong seemed nice enough, but Strange reminded him too much of Tony, so he made up some excuse that he was hungry and hurried off to one of the vendors, leaving Steve and Bruce to make small talk. If they visited another time when there weren’t so many people around, he might be fascinated enough to ask more questions. But not right now.

He didn’t hover around the pizza stand too long. Besides the fact that one of the women serving the food was giving him bedroom eyes and trying to flirt with him, he spotted Parker not too far away, chatting with Drax and Mantis. He gave the woman a small polite smile and made his way over to his preferred group of people. He didn’t come empty handed, though, and he loved the appreciative smiles the other three graced him with when he handed over the slices. That may have been another reason the caterer seemed so desperately inclined to talk to him, thinking he was just buying food because he was interested. Oh well.

The group chatted about the Guardians’ latest escapade on some faraway planet, and Bucky started to feel more relaxed. 

“I’m not really sure I know what your powers are…” Peter squinted at Mantis once their story was finished. “You never really explained it.” 

“Emotional manipulation?” Bucky tried. He wasn’t real clear on them, either. 

“I can feel the emotions of others if I touch them. I can also alter emotions, yes, if they are okay with it,” she answered cheerily. 

“It’s great for when you want to embarrass someone,” Drax added gleefully. 

“Quill will not let me touch him anymore.” Nobody had prompted her about that, but Bucky guessed she said things like this all the time.

Peter squinted again. “Why?”

“She told the whole team about his love for Gamora before he even told her.” Drax was entirely too happy about this. “It was hilarious.”

Bucky bit back the urge to physically distance himself from her. That would be way too obvious and prompt shenanigans he did not want to get into. These three in particular were little shits, even if Peter tried to act totally and completely innocent all the time. He did not need any of his feelings announced for the whole world to hear. He and Paige weren’t ready for that. 

“I can also make people go to sleep if they need me to. But he won’t let me do that, either.” 

“He’s no fun. Except when we pull a practical joke.”

“Oh yeah, yeah, yeah! Hey, can you try that sleep thing on me?” Peter stuck his hand out excitedly. “I wanted to ask you about it, y’know, when we were fighting, but that didn’t really seem like the right time. And then we lost but we didn’t really lose so my question just kinda got lost in all that.”

That made Bucky kind of want to try it, too. Peter’s attitude about almost everything was infectious as hell. So curiosity would get the better of Bucky today. As long as she wasn’t trying to read his emotions, it was probably safe to try, right? He offered his own flesh arm. “Yeah, me too.”

The two Guardians looked thrilled by this idea as Mantis placed a hand on each of their arms. Her antennae began to glow, and the last thing Bucky remembered was her simple chant of, “Sleep.”

Man, Mantis’ powers were  _ strong _ . It usually didn’t take much to wake Bucky up, but he found it very difficult to fully regain his connection with reality when he did start to stir. It was likely that not much time had passed between passing out and waking up, as he at least knew what short naps felt like. The sound of people calling his and Peter’s name reached his ears, but they didn’t sound worried. Amused was more like it. Then suddenly there was another voice he didn’t recognize at first, low and close to his face. The faint scent of wet dog reached his nose just before the sensors on his metal arm detected something was touching it. Grass, yes, but also something else. Small and grabby, like hands. And not tenderly, like Paige or when it was being examined. This touch had a purpose and was unfamiliar and searching. And clawed? 

“There’s gotta be a release mechanism…”

_ Fuck.  _

Rocket. 

Trying to get his arm off. 

Now the giggles in the background made sense. He summoned all the willpower he had to force himself to move. Eyes flew open first, then a quick jerking motion to hide his metal arm behind his back as he sat up straight. Once his eyes focused, he fixed his rather irritated gaze on the talking raccoon. 

“Oh come on, Mantis. You couldn’t have put him under just a little bit more? I almost had it!”

“I’m gonna give you five seconds to get away before I fling you into that lake. Ask Sam. It’s not a pleasant experience,” Bucky threatened. An empty threat, since he’d never actually thrown Sam into the lake, though the thought had crossed his mind more than a few times. Rocket didn’t need to know that.

“Ah, jeez, fine, fine,” Rocket mumbled, reluctantly backing off. “It’s just an arm. I’m sure you can get that princess over there to build you another one.”

“Why do you even need it, fur face?”

Ah, right, the other people. Bucky looked up to find Carol looking very authoritative. Not for the first time, he wondered if she and Steve were somehow distantly related. 

“Just in case. You know who gave Thor his eyeball, right?” 

“That doesn’t mean you need my specific arm,” Bucky growled, standing up slowly.

“Rocket, leave him alone,” Paige laughed, startling Bucky slightly. She placed a hand on his left arm and he struggled not to smile too hard. Which was hard, considering how adorable she looked, dressed so very festively in red, white, and blue stars. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” There was a certain twinkle in her eyes, but Bucky didn’t stare too long or try and comment on it. He had to at least try to act normal. So he settled for quirking one corner of his mouth up a little more before looking at Mantis. “That’s some powerful shit, Mantis. Peter hasn’t even woken up yet.”

Mantis grinned. “Thank you.”

At the same time, Paige turned her attention to the kid, who was face down in the grass. “Oh, Peter,” she laughed, crouching down to shake him awake. 

“I’m awake, Mrs. Sloan, I promi—” His voice was muffled by the grass.

“Peter, it’s Paige. And you’re at the Compound, not school.” She was trying so hard not to laugh, and it was adorable. 

He sat up quickly, still a little bleary-eyed, and mumbled several erratic apologies for falling asleep. Then, once he realized where he was and what had happened, he apologized again, this time with a ditzy grin. “That was so cool! I know you did that to Thanos and all but  _ wow _ .”

“I hate to pull you away, kiddo, but Shuri wanted to show you something,” Paige apologized before tugging him away to join Scott, Hope, Shuri, and Cassie. 

“Did you actually think it was a good idea to fall asleep with him here?” Carol asked Bucky, who quickly tried to cover up the fact that he’d been watching Paige a little too long.

“What? Oh, yeah, I thought he was still… over there.” He nodded lazily to the other side of the lawn. “How long was I out, anyway?

Carol raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Only about two minutes, actually. Long enough to get his attention.”

“Good thing I woke up when I did.”

“Mhm. I was this close to letting him take it.”

“Is that so? Smart move. You would’ve had to answer to Shuri.”

“I think I can handle myself, Barnes.”

“Oh, I know you can. Normally. You’ve met Shuri, right?” 

She laughed and offered him a one of the cups of lemonade she was holding, motioning for him to follow. “Yeah, yeah.” She looked at Drax and Mantis. “Sorry, guys, got someone I want him to meet.” 

The someone ended up being Maria and her daughter Monica, and Bucky could immediately see why Carol was so in love with Maria. Witty, no-nonsense, kind, intelligent, and pretty. And Monica was a spitting image of her mother, but acted more like Carol: impulsive, funny, headstrong, playful. They were an absolutely adorable family, and Bucky was instantly in love with them.

Eventually, Carol pulled Bucky away again, as Maria and Monica veered off to chat with Rhodey and some agents Bucky faintly recognized.

“So.”

“So…” Bucky repeated. She seemed nervous, and he had no idea why. It was a very different look on her.

“You know I’m still kind of catching up on the past twenty Earth years.”

“Uh huh.”

She shifted and looked around to make sure nobody else could hear. Once she was satisfied, she went on. “And a few years ago they legalized marriage for everyone.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide, and he nearly stumbled backwards in shock. He knew  _ exactly _ where this was going. “Carol? Are you…?” he whispered fervently, not even trying to hide the face-splitting grin.

She blushed and turned away, patting her pants pocket in affirmation. “Later tonight. Either right before or during that ridiculous fireworks show I’m sure Stark has planned.”

Bucky’s laugh came out a bit louder than he intended, and he quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry, sorry. But that’s incredible! I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks. It’s about time, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah. You deserve it. You both do.” He threw out his arm—the one not currently holding a drink—asking for a hug, which she happily gave him. She wasn’t particularly touchy-feely, but it came easier between them than with most people. Kindred spirits, Steve had called them once. 

“So do you.” 

Lips twitched up at the corners, but he shrugged and looked away nonchalantly. “One day. Need my help with the proposal or anything?”

Now that the big news was out of the way, Carol returned to her normal lighthearted self. “Nah, thanks. Monica knows, and it’s already hell trying to get her to keep her mouth shut. So I’m good. But you.” She poked him in the arm. “You shouldn’t wait too long.”

That tone of hers was cause for him to look at her suspiciously. Her eyes were always open windows to her soul if he looked hard enough, so he didn’t need to ask what she was referring to. Instead, he just sighed, “Wish people would stop telling me that.”

“Well, apparently you’re too dense, Barnes.”

“Also wish people would stop telling me  _ that _ .”

“You seem to need—” her communication device went off, which disrupted her train of thought. “Sorry,” she mumbled as she read it.

Bucky nodded and turned his attention back to the various groups of people talking around. He liked people watching sometimes.

“She is cute.”

Drax’s voice, for some reason, reached Bucky’s ears over everyone else’s. Apparently he and Mantis had wandered to this less crowded area sometime while he’d been otherwise occupied. Nebula and Groot had joined them, though the tree didn’t seem to be paying much attention again.

_ Teenagers. _

“Oh, then maybe you should go talk to her?” Mantis offered. 

Bucky watched them discreetly, wondering exactly who they were talking about and if he should offer to introduce anyone. It’d been a long time since he played matchmaker, and the prospect excited him. Maybe Carol’s confession had helped to amplify that feeling.  _ Some Winter Soldier I am _ , he thought gleefully. 

Drax shifted. “I’m not sure I should.”

Nebula did that head tilt of hers, sounding both amused and concerned. “Why not? Are you afraid?” 

Another shift, followed by a shrug. “I don’t know Terran customs. The last time I tried to woo a woman was my wife, who was the same species. And it was a long time ago.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow and took a sip of his drink. He remembered hearing about Drax’s family back in March and sympathized greatly with him. He deserved some romantic-based happiness in his life. Maybe Bucky really should stick his nose in, offer advice.

“She is quite different from what you’ve told us about Ovette. Didn’t you say she never danced to anything?” Mantis asked. 

They weren’t looking anywhere in particular, so he couldn’t exactly narrow down who they were talking about. But it did mean that it was someone who’d been at one of the events. That ruled out Valkyrie, at least. Besides, it was highly unlikely she’d be interested in Drax. And apparently the Guardians’ cultures were at least somewhat monogamous, which meant it wasn’t Wanda, Pepper, Hope, Carol, Sharon, Okoye, or Nakia (Bucky needed to go talk to the latter two before it got too late; he missed them). Maybe it was one of the many other guests roaming around somewhere? 

“She didn’t. And it was the most beautiful thing. But I may be willing to make an exception now. Terrans are different. I think they  _ all _ like to dance.”

“She is nice. You should go talk to her at least,” Nebula urged.

“But she said she’s not looking for anyone.” He sounded slightly defeated, and Bucky frowned. 

“So? Just because you’re not looking doesn’t mean you can’t find something.”

“I am Groot?” Groot asked, finally looking up from his handheld.

“Over there,” Drax nodded. “And stop swearing.”

_ Finally, we’re getting somewhere. _

All four of them lifted their heads to look across the lawn. Bucky followed their gazes, and promptly crushed his cup. 

The small group they were looking at included Bruce, T’Challa, Rhodey, and Steve. The only woman within spitting distance of them was standing next to T’Challa and leaning against the bar with a drink in her hand, looking as radiant as ever with the evening sunlight casting a golden glow over her features.

Paige.

_ Oh, no. _

“What’s going on, Barnes?”

Carol’s voice startled him, and when he turned to face her, she was pocketing her communication device and looking pointedly at the destroyed Solo cup in his hand, still leaking lemonade onto the vibranium.

“Oh, uh.” He looked down and released his death grip. There was really no point in lying to Carol, but he did it anyway. “Just remembered something. ‘M fine.”

She frowned. Obviously she could tell he was hiding something, but she didn’t press him. “Might wanna go wash your hands before that dries and makes the metal all sticky.”

He couldn’t care less about that, really. But he nodded stiffly and moved towards the outdoor kitchen a few feet away.  _ I was about to try and set up my girlfriend with someone else. _

He washed up quickly, then made his way over to Paige’s group, feigning that he needed another drink. Alcoholic, this time. Even though normal stuff did nothing for him. He couldn’t let Drax down easily in person because nobody but T’Challa knew, but—

The thought that T’Challa would definitely do what he could to subtlety convince Drax not to pursue Paige if Bucky had never overheard the conversation eased his tension a little bit. He wasn’t  _ jealous _ , really, but he still didn’t like the idea of Paige having to deal with someone flirting with her because she appeared single. She’d mentioned that she was never good with rejecting people; she’s just too nice. Best to spare her the trouble. 

And he couldn’t just  _ tell _ Drax about them. That guy could not keep a secret. 

So Bucky settled for hovering around her the rest of the evening. Even if they weren’t talking, he stayed close enough that he could intervene if Drax tried flirting. Well, what he likely considered flirting. Earth culture seemed way different from whatever he was used to. 

Thankfully, nothing came of the conversation he’d overheard, and eventually Tony made an announcement over the extremely loud PA system that the fireworks were about to begin. Bucky discreetly pulled Paige to the side where they could easily watch Carol and Maria, but he didn’t tell her why.

And when the sky lit up in a brilliant array of colors and shapes, Bucky nudged Paige with his shoulder, motioning to Carol when she finally tore her gaze away from the sky. Soon, everyone’s attention was on the proposal rather than the fireworks. 

“I spent all that money paying people for a spectacular display only to have the spotlight stolen? Come on, Danvers, aren’t you bright enough as it is?” Tony would tease later.

Totally worth it, though, Bucky reckoned, watching Carol and Maria’s joyful tears. 

And he wasn’t afraid to admit that he’d started tearing up a bit, too. Everyone else was doing it, so why not join in? 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone gets suspicious!

**Mid-July**

“Sam is a _fucking_ _menace_.”

Paige snorted, both at Bucky and the meme Shuri had sent her, and tossed aside her phone. “Not to me, he’s not.”

“Yeah, I know,” Bucky huffed, flopping down on the couch in Paige’s office. He’d finished early with the recruits; it was his short day of the week, and they were moving along nicely, so he and Sam felt no need to stay any longer. Plus, Sam was getting on Bucky’s last nerve. Again. “That’s another problem we can discuss some other time.”

“Oh?” Paige was suddenly defensive. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Not what it sounded like, sorry. I just mean that when we, you know, go public, he’s gonna be even meaner to me because he likes you so much.”

“Not in  _ that _ way.” 

“I know. But he told me he’d always be on your side. Either way, he still tries to make my life a living hell.”

She chuckled, relaxed again. “What’d he do this time?”

Bucky looked about as embarrassed as the kid who’d been pantsed in front of the whole school. This was going to be both really good and really bad. “We were showing the newbies good ways to get out of choke holds if they don’t have any weapons within reach. I was holding Sam’s neck with my metal arm out where he couldn’t reach me with his hands. Instead of using his feet, or hitting the inside of my elbow, or  _ any other method  _ that he was supposed to use, while I was giving them tips, he reaches under and just fucking pops my arm off.”

Paige burst out into laughter that was silenced when she saw the look on Bucky’s face. 

He was positively  _ sulking  _ now. “I don’t know who the fuck showed him that but I’m going to kill them. I wasn’t expecting him to do that, and you know how sometimes my balance will be off for a few seconds while I adjust.” A nod. She did know. They’d been practicing to get him used to it ever since Shuri had shown them. “So because he’s an asshole, instead of just turning to them and saying something like ‘use your head and know your enemy’ or whatever, he punches me with it and I actually fall over. Do you know how embarrassing that is?”

Paige couldn’t help but chortle. She felt so bad when Bucky started pouting, but it didn’t make it any less amusing. “He was being smart about it, though, you gotta admit.”

“No, I will not admit it. He could do that in our private sparring sessions and it’d be okay.”

“Would it, though?”

Bucky frowned. “Probably not. Still, this was worse because it was in front of everyone else.”

She coughed to stifle the next bout of laughter she felt coming on. “I know you, so what did you do to get him back?” She turned to her tablet when it buzzed with a reminder.

“Threw him across the room.”

“So he’s in the infirmary now?”

Bucky shook his head. “No. I’m not that mean. I should be, though.” He paused and sat up. “I think Steve did this on purpose.”

“What, put you two together on this? Wouldn’t surprise me. What does surprise me is that he doesn’t have this Get Along shirt for the two of you when you’re acting like brats.”

“Sam’s the one who starts it!”

Paige looked up from her tablet with an arched brow. “Every time?”

Bucky faltered. “Well, not every time, no.”

“Then you’re not helping yourself, bud.” She tapped a few things and scowled at the tablet.

“I’m not just going to take it sitting down, though. Besides, he deserves a taste of his own medicine every now and then.” He then noticed how cross she was. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

She sighed and rubbed her face. “I’ve got a conference call in like…” she glanced at the clock on her tablet. “10 minutes. With Secretary Ross. That I totally forgot about until just now. And I was having such a good day...” The Secretary of State’s name always came out of her mouth so sourly. She really hated him and Bucky was right there with her. “You know how irritated I get when he’s in on them.” She paused and looked up at Bucky, who was watching her curiously. She was about to ask him to leave so that she could stew in peace during the inevitably frustrating meeting, but then a thought occurred to her. Bucky had a knack for keeping her calm when she needed it (romantic feelings aside), so his presence might keep her at least a bit less testy. “I’d... like you to stay during my call. Keep me from losing my shit. If you want. But could you go get us some of those smoothies from the kitchen first, though? I don’t think I can make it through this without some.”

He smiled sweetly. “Yeah, sure.” Those were her favorites, and she always seemed to be in a better mood when she had them. And, apparently she was well prepared for this, Bucky noted as she pulled out a bottle of rum from her desk. 

“You’re an angel.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, sweetheart.”

—

“Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” Tony swirled around in his chair, bored as hell and a little concerned Paige hadn’t shown up for her usual briefing. His office had a nice view, but it wasn’t like anything was happening outside his windows. And he was totally done with reading through the latest Accords amendments. The sooner Paige gave him the run down, the sooner he could go back to his workshop. To the important stuff.

“Yes, boss?” the AI asked.

“Where’s Paige? She just running late, or…?”

“She’s in her office, on a conference call with Secretary Ross and the FCC, remember?”

Tony clicked his tongue. “Totally forgot about that. Whoops. And here I was fixing to get mad at her.”

“I highly doubt that.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. sounded skeptical. And for good reason. 

“Yeah, you’re right. Well, I can always tap into her office camera and watch her get pissed off. That’s always fun.”

“Fun?”

Tony shrugged. “I don’t like seeing her mad, but she has a much harder time covering up her anger than other people when it comes to Ross. And the expressions she makes are, objectively, hilarious. I heard her call him a ‘mother fucking bitch of a sore loser’ when he didn’t get his way once. Gotta love that mute button. Plus I kinda wanna know what they’re talking about.”

“Is this a good idea?”

The subtle hints F.R.I.D.A.Y. had been throwing at Tony went completely over his head. “She’s let me listen in before. Actually told me she doesn’t care about the camera, security reasons and whatnot.” Which she had. She knew where it was, too: front right corner, plain as day. “They do the usual bullshit on these calls but sometimes I find things I can hang over their heads. It’s weird they don’t use the holo conference more often. Then again, maybe I’m glad. Paige might have already been fired by now. Whatever. Let’s have a look, shall we?”

“On it.”

Well, Tony sure hadn’t expected to see anyone else but Paige in her office for this. Least of all, Barnes. He also definitely didn’t expect them to be sitting so close together, with one of her legs draped over one of his, staring idly at the phone while he played with her hair. He knew they were good friends, but this? This wasn’t the way  _ just friends _ sat together. 

Barnes. Really? Barnes? Wasn’t he supposed to be doing drills—oh, Wednesday, yeah. They were with Rhodey for flight lessons. Tony still had trouble keeping up with what day it was. 

His attention was drawn back to the screen when Paige threw her head back against Barnes’s shoulder with a delightfully frustrated look aimed at the ceiling. Tony vaguely heard Ross saying something about new regulations, and suddenly Tony felt exactly as annoyed as Paige looked. That is, until Barnes wrapped an arm around her waist and buried his face in her hair. He was muttering something, but it was too low to be picked up by the mic. Her expression softened considerably at that. Tony frowned.

“Is this—“ he gestured at the screen—“public knowledge? Did I miss out on something?”

“You haven’t missed anything, boss. It’s not public. Miss Halcomb has been asking me to bring any rumors of the two to her for assessment. And, my records indicate she’s been spending more and more nights at Sargeant Barnes’ apartment. Her office is in privacy mode now, too,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. added as an aside.

“Huh.” Tony didn’t really like where this was going. His unease jumped up a couple of notches when he noticed the rum bottle on the desk as well. Alcohol could lead to… Then he remembered that that bottle was a present from himself to her. He never really saw her drink that much in the first place, so he let it go. Not much of the bottle was gone anyway. They’d probably just spiked those smoothies sitting on her desk, he mused. 

His issues with the big bad White Wolf (Tony still scoffed at the moniker; Winter Soldier sounded much better, but he knew why Barnes changed it) had been resolved for a while now. Though his stomach did occasionally churn uncomfortably when memories of his parents came unbidden at the sight of Bucky. He’d never be truly over the trauma—and neither would Barnes—but he’d stopped blaming him a long time ago. He was invaluable as a team member, for sure. And the younger generation seemed to adore him as much as he adored them. 

He was a good egg that had been tossed into a frying pan of unfortunate circumstances.

Still. Tony wasn’t sure he wanted him around Paige in  _ that _ capacity. She had been a vital member of the staff, and everyone loved her. Tony even saw her as a sort of younger sister. If something bad ever did happen between them, Barnes might not last very long. But Tony still didn’t want her possibly quitting because of one person. “I don’t think I like it. May need to create some sort of… rule against coworkers… It’s never a good idea.”

“But boss, Ms. Potts—“

“What about her?” Tony was suddenly concerned. Until, a split second later, he realized what the AI was getting at. “Oh, yeah. Good thing I was the boss and wasn’t stupid enough to enact that rule then. I would have just broken it anyway, probably.”

“And they won’t?”

Tony blinked. Shit. Barnes was apt to break rules every now and then. Especially if he didn’t fully agree with them. Tony unhappily remembered the whole quinjet incident. And it wasn’t like Paige was a true saint, either. She was a good person, but she had her moments of rebellion. And if Barnes was there, being all sweet… well, even Tony might have issues resisting his devilishly good looks. He ran his hands over his face. “God, I hate it when you’re right.”

“What would you like to do?”

Tony settled for watching the two and listening to some FCC official—he recognized the voice but didn’t care to try and recall the man’s face or name—drone on about something that wasn’t Avengers-related at all. Paige had her arms crossed now, and occasionally, they’d peck each other on the cheek. But otherwise neither of them moved for the rest of the call. They looked cute. Tony didn’t like it. “I dunno. I’ll think about it. Probably talk to them. Maybe drop a few hints. Scare ‘em, hopefully.”

“Subtlety is not your strong suit, boss. And I don’t think they’re afraid of you.”

“Unfortunately, you’re right again.”

Ugh. Really? Bucky Barnes?

* * *

“So,” Tony began, plopping himself onto the bench next to Paige. They were sitting in the common area having lunch and generally being their normal selves. There was no outward hint of what he’d seen on his computer a few days ago. Not that anything had happened after the meeting.

“Hey, Tony. What’s up?” she greeted cheerfully. Though there was a bit of confusion there; it wasn’t often he joined them for lunch. 

“You not eating?” Bucky asked before biting into his sandwich.

Tony waved his hand dismissively. “Had lunch already. Though, that lasagna does look—and smell—delicious.”

Paige instinctively pushed her Tupperware towards him. “Have some! There’s too much here for me anyway.”

“No, thank you though.” He held up his hand gently. “You’re very generous. Isn’t she, Barnes?” 

Immediately, Bucky was suspicious. He was fairly good at reading when people were hiding something. And right now, Tony looked and sounded very much like he wasn’t joining them just for the hell of it. “Yeah,” he answered slowly. 

Paige, blissfully unaware of the sudden tension in Bucky’s features, shrugged and went back to her food. “So, was there something you wanted to talk to us about? Or did you just want to bask in our lively company? We were just having a riveting conversation about mollusks.”

Tony blinked. “Mollusks?” That was almost too inane. Was she trying to throw him off?

She nodded vigorously. “Yeah! Did you know that there are around 100,000 species that fall under the mollusk classification? I was watching this documentary about them last night and they’re so cool, and I have a lot of thoughts.”

Tony blinked more. Yeah okay she wasn’t  _ actively _ trying to throw him off. Her expression was too genuine. “Huh. That’s… fascinating.” Tony stole a glance at Bucky and found him smiling into his sandwich. He was a little too entertained by this. 

She knew Tony’s distracted tone all too well, but she also didn’t really want to know why he’d sat with them in the first place. Her gut told her it might not be good. “It is! Wanna hear more facts I learned?”

“She knows a lot.” Bucky looked proud. He turned back to Paige. “I think you would’ve been a good scientist or zookeeper or something.”

She sighed dreamily. “Yeah, except that I hate math. In another life, though.”

“Not like this life is so bad, right? You’re here with us now, having lunch and talking about mollusks.” 

“No, you’re right. This is a pretty good life.”

They’d continued looking at each other throughout their exchange. Despite the matter-of-fact tone they’d had, Tony was still going to jump out of his skin with discomfort at the obvious  _ thing  _ that was going on. “Yeah, we’re really glad you’re here. Barnes especially, I see.”

Whatever had bubbled up between them vanished in an instant, replaced by confusion and panic. “Well, yeah…” Bucky swallowed, trying to stay neutral. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Tony cocked an eyebrow. “Certainly looks that way…” He maintained heavy eye contact with Bucky, who didn’t back down. Tony couldn’t really read what was going on in Barnes’ head, but his rigid posture said enough. 

_ Shit _ . Well, that gut feeling had been right. Paige tried not to let her face falter.  _ Tony knows _ . 

Tony stood and patted Paige on the shoulder. “I’ve got some other stuff to get to, so I’ll leave you two to continue being  _ friendly _ .” The weird emphasis on the word was not missed by either of them. “Enjoy the rest of your lunch. Don’t forget you’ve got weapons training to get to, Barnes.” He flashed them a half-assed smile and headed in the direction of his lab.

Once he was out of earshot, Bucky sighed loudly. “Well, fuck.”

“Yeah, my sentiments exactly.” Sam and Steve were one thing, but they just had suspicions of how they felt, not that they were actually together. How the hell did Tony  _ know _ , though? They’d been careful, only really being lovey-dovey in— “Oh, God. The camera in my office,” she groaned. Embarrassment drove her to bury her face in her hands.

Bucky had clocked it the first time he was ever in her office. He figured it was for emergencies, or one of F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s cameras. But he didn’t think Stark would resort to actually spying on her. “That seems kind of low—”

“Not really, actually. It’s okay. I’ve told him he could watch and listen in on my conference calls whenever because, like, they’re conference calls. And I don’t, like, do anything bad. Maybe take my shoes off or nap when I have a headache. But nothing that would warrant me even caring about the camera. He just must have decided that yesterday was a good day to listen in and caught us.”

Bucky gnawed on his lip. “I mean, it could have been worse. We could—” 

Paige poked an eye out from behind her fingers. “Yeah, well, let’s never make out in my office.” They hadn’t done it yet, and she wasn’t too keen on the idea in the first place. The thought of anyone seeing that made her want to die on the spot. She was so  _ not _ composed when the were making out.

“Yeah, good idea. Think he’ll tell anyone?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know, honestly. I mean, he didn’t directly tell us he knew. So maybe that means…” 

Paige didn’t really know what that meant.

“He could just be warning us because he still doesn’t really like  _ me _ .”

Paige’s hands fell into her lap. “He tries to do anything to you, I’ll maim him myself.”

Bucky laughed as his heart thrummed happily in his chest. It always did that when she got protective. Even now, when the mood wasn’t exactly light and carefree. “That’s sweet, but likely unnecessary.”

“Ugh, this is why we wanted to keep it secret. Having to deal with other people’s opinions about this while we figure it out ourselves sucks.”

“Actually, I think Tony and Sam are the only ones who will be weird about it.”

“Because  _ of course _ it’d be the two most dramatic people we know. Which reminds me again of the Internet. That’ll be fun.”

“God, yeah.” He sighed and looked at his watch. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, Tony’s right, unfortunately. I’ve gotta get to training.” Standing, he crumpled up his trash into a neat ball. “I’ll see you later, okay?” He fidgeted with the trash, distracting his hands so they didn’t reach out to hold hers. There was still the risk of someone else walking in. He added in a very low whisper, “Have a good day, sweetheart.”

She nodded and kept her voice just as quiet, but full of affection. “Don’t tell me what to do.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he responded lightly. She had been brilliant in suggesting that be their subtle way of saying  _ I love you _ in public.

_ Thank God it’s the weekend _ , she thought before going back to her food.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is that "Bucky has a nightmare" warning I have in the tags. So a bit of angst. Next chapter's fluff, so you can skip this one if you want/need.

**Early August**

Many times in her life, loud noises had woken Paige up suddenly in the middle of the night. Ear-splitting claps of thunder, large branches clattering on the roof, dogs barking, someone purposely scaring her awake, and even the occasional TV being turned on after nobody had bothered to turn down the volume the night before. Standard things in life that rarely called for more than a few short moments of erratic heartbeats. 

This night, however, was totally different. She had never woken up to the sound of blood curdling screams, much less ones coming from right next to her.

But it was only there for a moment before it trailed off into the opposite direction, stopping altogether a few terrifying seconds later. She scrambled off the bed, thudding to the floor and cursing up a storm before quickly regaining her footing. Blood pounded harshly in her ears, mixing with the ringing the screaming had caused, which prohibited her from clearly hearing what was going on, besides grunting and panting? And the room was pitch black, so until her eyes adjusted, there was no hope of seeing what exactly was happening. Nevermind trying to work out logically what was going on; her brain hadn’t fully caught up yet.

But then, bless F.R.I.D.A.Y., a lamp flickered on, softly lighting the room.

It was still hard to hear, but the sight before her made her blood run cold.

Bucky, back flush on the opposite wall, hands and legs bound by awfully thick metal bands. He wasn’t actively struggling, but his whole body was wound as tight as one of Clint’s bowstrings, chest heaving erratically, eyes wild and looking everywhere but nowhere. And he was so  _ pale _ . She’d been through his nightmares before, but he usually just tossed and turned, maybe muttered a few things in different languages. Talking and shaking him awake worked for that, but this? This was another thing entirely, and she wasn’t sure what she should do. 

But she had to try something.

“Bucky?”

No response, only still stunted, heavy breathing. 

“Bucky?” she tried again, a little louder. 

This seemed to slice through his clouded mind enough that his eyes stopped wandering, settling on something in the middle distance. His breathing was becoming more even, though it still wasn’t anywhere close to calm. 

“Bucky, baby, hey. Can you hear me?” 

He nodded slowly, but she wasn’t sure he recognized her voice. Not yet, anyway. She could barely recognize it herself, it was so wobbly and raspy. She inched closer to him, but not too close. He was still partially stuck in whatever nightmare he’d had. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

The AI’s voice was calming, steady. Because someone had to be. “Sergeant Barnes’ heart rate was skyrocketing, and not in the good way. But it’s slowing down now. You should probably keep talking.”

Paige nodded. “Can…” She took a steadying breath. “Can you let him go?”

“Are you sure, Miss Halcolmb?”

“Yes, please.”

At her request, the metal bands released Bucky, whose feet were maybe only an inch or two off the ground. But without the added support keeping him upright, he collapsed onto his hands and knees, hair falling in a dark curtain around his face and obscuring it from view. Trembling slightly, he sat back and pulled his knees tightly to his chest a few seconds later.

“Where are you?” Paige asked in a barely audible whisper as she crouched down to his level.

A few more tense seconds passed before she was able to make out the word “cold.”

Likely in Siberia, and he could  _ not _ stay there. “No, you’re at the Avengers Compound. New York. You’re home, Bucky.  _ Safe _ .”

With an enormous amount of self control and a dash of fear at how he would react, she was able to keep from reaching out and holding him, trying to get him to understand that there was nothing but warmth here, love, and H.Y.D.R.A. was long gone. She knew the cold he thought he was feeling had seeped deep into his bones, and she wasn’t sure he’d ever fully shake that feeling off. But she still wanted to try to wrap him up in her arms and rescue him from the hell he was reliving. 

“Home?” His voice came out a little stronger, but the uncertainty in it shattered her heart all the same.

“Yes, home. A place  _ you chose _ to settle down. It’s warm here. You’re safe. It’s just me.”

“You?” He looked up at her then, and she could see, even in the low light, how his eyes were full of apprehension and fear.

She took a deep breath again and kept her tone calm, gentle, informative. “Yes. Paige Halcomb. And you are James Buchanan Barnes. And I love you so very much. I will never hurt you.”

His eyes were suddenly much brighter, and some of the fear disappeared, replaced by flickers of recognition. “Paige?”

An inch or two closer, but still not close enough to reach out and touch him. “Yeah, it’s me. I’m here. And you’re safe, my love.”

That seemed to work wonders. “Paige.” Her name left his mouth in a shaky, defeated sigh. “Oh, god.”

“Bucky, you’re okay. It’s okay.” Her voice nearly cracked on his name.

“What… what happened?” 

“You had a nightmare. A bad one. Started screaming, F.R.I.D.A.Y. pulled you over there.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, and she noticed he was still trembling. “Did I…?”

“No, I’m okay, you’re okay. Nothing else happened.”

“Okay.” A small nod accompanied his slightly relieved tone. 

She clenched and unclenched her jaw for a moment before deciding to ask the question. This thought had been brewing since the lamp first came on. “Do you want me to get Steve?” He might be the best person to help in this situation. Steve was going to find out eventually, so it might be fitting that he be the first to know, though she had wanted the reveal to be under much more normal, better circumstances. 

But  _ that _ didn’t matter right now. 

“No, no. Just… please keep talking,” he begged hoarsely.

So she did. Reminded him of the good things that had happened that week. That earlier that day, Peter had brought May, MJ, and Ned by so they could meet some of the staff. That Bucky had said Ned actively fanboying had been the highlight of his week. That they had an event coming up soon, so he needed to go shopping for suits again, but not to show her what he got, keep it a surprise. That Becca had come over bearing belated birthday gifts for a blushing Steve. On purpose, she left out the part where Tony had been very obviously side-eyeing the two of them all week, and that one of the newer agents had accidentally broken their wrist on his arm in a sparring session. He only needed good things.

Eventually, he stretched his hand out cautiously, and Paige immediately scooted closer and grabbed it, giving a reassuring squeeze. “Paige, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he managed.

She knew she should have asked first, but she couldn’t stand it anymore. She closed the remaining distance between them carefully and pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her middle and buried his face in the crook of her neck with a shuddering breath. His skin was scalding hot, and Paige knew she’d eventually start to sweat, but she only tightened her grip. “Don’t—Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. You’re okay, I’m okay, you’re  _ safe _ , you’re  _ home _ . I’ve got you.”

The dam broke, and sobs wracked his body. She continued whispering reassurances while she stroked his hair. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed before the tears slowed and his breathing became even again, but it had definitely been more than just a few minutes. 

When she felt he was calm enough, she asked, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

A deep breath through the nose was the only reply for a moment, until, “It was… Siberia.” As she suspected. “I still had memories. The chair. Over and over again until…”

It tore at her heart that he was still reliving the horrible things H.Y.D.R.A. had put him through. She just wanted to make it all go away forever, make it so that it had never happened. She let her own tears fall into his hair, which he felt and immediately pulled back to look up at her. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, voice still weak, but she shook her head. 

“Stop apologizing, Bucky. This is not your fault. Please, don’t blame yourself, okay?” She cupped his face in her hands, pressing her lips to his forehead. “It’s not your fault.”

“I’m sorry you have to see this.”

“Don’t be. I knew what I was signing up for. But  _ I am sorry _ you have to go through this.”

“What’s that thing I keep telling you?”

The tiniest smile on his face and in his voice made her chuckle, “I know. But you started it. I keep telling you not to apologize for all this.” Her smile faltered as she pulled his head back to her neck, wiping away her own tears in the process. “It’s usually not this bad. Do you know what might have triggered this one?”

A small nod. “Therapy today. I’ve had this… image in my head for a few days, and I can’t… I don’t know if it’s real or not. Tried figuring it out with Dr. Basu, but…” He gave a small defeated shrug. 

“Then maybe you should take a break from that image. I know that’s hard, but I’ll do what I can to keep you distracted. Maybe you should go out with Steve or something, too. It’ll probably come back to you when you’re not actively thinking about it later. Kinda how those things happen sometimes.”

Another nod. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I haven’t had a night like this in a long time.” He shuddered but kept talking. “And if that’s what caused it, I don’t think I want to keep doing it. Especially not with you here.”

She began carding her fingers through his hair again, smiling when she heard his faint hum of appreciation. “You don’t scare me. I mean, you do when things like this happen and all I can do is watch, but I’m not afraid of you. And if we’re gonna do this, you have to let me be here and help you. After all, F.R.I.D.A.Y. can only do so much.” She glanced at the ceiling and gave it a small smile. 

“She’s right, Sergeant Barnes,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. agreed. “This is the fastest you’ve recovered, besides the night Captain Rogers was called in.”

There was a small nod before he shuddered again. Paige pulled away from him for a moment. “Hey, are you still cold?” she asked, running her hands over his face and right shoulder. To her, he was still burning up.

“Yeah. I shouldn’t be.”

“Do you think a shower would help? Or a bath? I’ve still got some bath bombs, and that might help ground you or something. Or do you just want some blankets? Or sit in front of the fireplace?” The physical stimulation of warmth was most likely what would crack through the wall still surrounding his mind. 

He let out a short, dry chuckle. “I know I’m already sweating.” He tilted his head up and pressed a light kiss to her throat. Even his lips were hot, and not in the sensual way, but she didn’t flinch away. “I think I should try a bath.”

“M’kay,” she hummed. “You want me to join you?”

It was only partially a joke. She felt… ready to let him see her, if that’s what would help him. She didn’t think it would lead to anything happening—he was still too fragile. But if he needed constant human contact to keep him here, she’d gladly do that.

He leaned back and looked at her, blue eyes much more focused than before, now dancing with confusion and curiosity as he searched her face. “You don’t have to.”

“I’m fine. It’s  _ you _ I’m worried about.” Her finger traced his jawline while she held his gaze, letting him see that she was absolutely serious. “If that’s what you want, I’ll join you.”

After a moment, his lips tugged upwards at the corners. “Thank you,” he whispered as he started drawing circles on her back with his thumbs, “but I think I should try it by myself first.”

They slowly stood and made their way to the bathroom, where she ran the water for him while he sifted through her available bath bombs, eventually deciding on the vanilla one. “Smells like you,” he said with a small smile. She let him test the water, then turned it up at his request. It might be too hot, really, if the intense amount of steam rising from the water was any indication, but she knew he’d be okay. He needed this, so she said nothing, instead turning around and letting him get undressed and settled.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” he shook his head quickly. “Please.” 

He pulled the tub tray (a gift from Wanda, actually) up far enough to cover himself and called out that everything was okay. 

She carefully made her way to his side, sitting on the tiled floor next to the tub, and laced her fingers through his outstretched hand, giving it a squeeze. “Better?”

His smile was answer enough for her, but he responded, “Better. Thank you.”

“More  _ Parks & Rec _ ?” The bathroom had a TV on the opposite wall—because of course it did—so she figured they could try watching something to distract him. That seemed like the most calming show, besides another nature or space documentary. But a part of her worried that somehow that might pull forth other not-so-great memories.

“That works.” Bucky leaned over the side of the tub and pulled her hand to his face, kissing tenderly. “Thank you, Paige. For everything.”

She responded by leaned forward more and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “Anything for you, my love. And I mean it. I love you, and I’ll always be here.”

“I love you, too.”

The bright smile he flashed her fully reached his eyes that time, and Paige relaxed for the first time in what felt like—and probably was—hours. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff and implied sexual content, but I promise it's safe for work. I mean, there's cussing, but otherwise it's clean. 
> 
> Also the latter half of this is... eh, but I've still left it in there.

**Mid-August**

“I know I said this like a hundred times already, but  _ fuck _ .”

“That is what we did.”

She lightly elbowed his chest. “ _ No _ , it's not. I asked you to make love, and  _ that's _ what we did. There's a very big difference in the two.” There was a pause. “You're very good at it, you know.”

He laughed and stroked away the few bits of dried mascara from around her eyes. This time, he didn’t feel awful at all about ruining her makeup. “You're not bad yourself, you know.”

“I have a good partner,” she hummed. “So lack of experience doesn’t seem to matter too much.”

“Plus, I think all the tension we've been building up for a while now helped.”

Paige was giggling now. “I mean, you're not wrong.”

There was a comfortable silence between them as they cradled each other’s faces. It was disgusting, really, how god awfully adorable they were being. But Bucky didn’t care. This was the woman he loved, laying beside him feeling as open and happy and loved as he felt. She looked as beautiful as ever, though he couldn’t remember a single moment where she didn’t look lovely. Even drooling in her sleep with her face smashed between the pillow and blanket, as she did often when he rolled out of bed long before she even thought about waking up.

He’d had a suspicion the moment would come eventually, but he hadn’t expected it so soon, honestly. They’d had plenty of times where they had to tear themselves apart before it got too far. It wasn’t as if the desire and the trust and the love weren’t there, but… Relationships were complicated. And sure, being really good friends made things easier because they genuinely liked each other. But they didn’t want to regret anything because they’d gone too fast, not thought rationally about things before doing them. They had both needed time. Besides, Bucky liked slow.

So when they came back to his apartment after the latest fundraising gala all Avengers and essential staff had been required to attend—leaving a little earlier than everyone else so that they could sneak in—he’d imagined they would bake some of the cheap cookies he’d bought and stuff their faces before crawling into bed to watch more  _ Parks & Rec _ . Maybe have another makeout session because, really, it had been so hard to maintain a professional and  _ just friends _ attitude during the gala when she looked like she did in that simple but elegant yellow evening gown—which was now pooled on the floor at the end of the bed; might need to hang it back up soon so that it didn’t get wrinkly, he mused. Oh, and his velvet burgundy suit, which she had  _ very _ much liked.

Instead, she’d pulled him almost immediately into the bedroom and asked him to make love to her, that she was ready. He’d asked no less than 5 times if she was sure. If she hadn’t thought it was so funny and sweet, she might have been annoyed enough to not want to. And he didn’t stop asking and making sure she was okay before he did anything. He tried to be as gentle and loving as he possibly could as they explored each other. Sometimes, they’d get too into it and make a weird noise or grip too hard. They'd both immediately stumble over words, trying to make sure each other was okay and apologizing over and over. That was usually followed by giggling, and they both loved it. It was more perfect than Bucky could have ever imagined, awkwardness and all. 

They’d eventually cleaned up and she’d thrown on her favorite of his shirts to wear—it wasn’t as loose as her own sleep shirts, but Bucky sure as hell wasn’t complaining—before they crawling under the sheets. He might pull that shirt off later… But for now, they just laid together, blissful and ignorant of the outside world.

She shifted so that she could curl up against his chest and sighed contentedly. “You are probably the softest man I've ever met,” she mumbled, interrupting his reverie. “Like, on the inside. I mean, I’ve known that for a while but… You really are.”

“Mmm, no, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m a big, scary Avenger.” It didn’t surprise him that she was calling him soft. She did it all the time. And he’d spent the last… well he didn’t know how long it’d been since they got home, but he’d called her soft and warm and beautiful and all sorts of other sweet nothings that she seemed to enjoy. Because  _ god  _ she was, body and soul. She was every nice thing he could think of to tell her. He’d figured out early on that she liked returning kindness offered to her, so there had been no shortage of compliments and loving words on her end, either. And she most assuredly meant them, too. 

God, they really were too cute.

She laughed, “Nope. You’re like a bag of fluffy kittens.”

“Kittens have claws.”

“You’re declawed.”

“You know damn well that's not true.”

“ _ Bucky _ .” 

“What?” 

“You’re a marshmallow on the inside so stop denying it.”

“Wrong.”

“I think you should change your hero name to Marshmallow Man.”

Being  _ this _ happy didn’t help him pull off the “offended” charade. “No!” he laughed. “That’s not scary or heroic at all!” When all she did was laugh even harder, he continued, “You’re terrible at superhero names. We’re never letting you pick them out.”

“Am not.” She’d buried her face into his chest, so the words came out muffled.

“Are too. That’s okay though, I still love you.”

“I love you, too,” she chuckled, then took a deep, relaxing breath. “I don’t think I ever wanna leave this bed. Not that I don’t feel that way normally, but, like, especially right now.”

“Me, either, baby.”

They fell into another long, comfortable silence until something occurred to Paige and she began chewing on her bottom lip. “I don’t know why I forgot about this until just now…” she started. That was a lie. She’d been thinking about it for days but hadn’t really found the right moment to talk to him about it. Pillow talk seemed like as good a time as any, she figured. Plus, she really didn’t have any good reason to not bring it up.

He waited patiently for her to continue, drawing little patterns on her back. Sometimes it took her a moment to find her words. They had all the time in the world as far as he was concerned, so he was in no rush to do much of anything. 

“My parents want me to come to their place for Labor Day weekend.” 

By itself, the statement wasn’t something that would make her this hesitant. But it sounded like she was going to say more, so he kept quiet. A few beats, and she still said nothing. He raised an eyebrow for her to continue. When he realized she couldn't see it, he made an accompanying noise. 

“You know I haven’t been, like, super vocal to anyone about us. And that includes my family.”

That one surprised him a little. She was very close with her family, so he’d half expected her to tell them, if she told anyone. Or her best friend. But he knew outright that hadn’t happened. He’d told Becca, and Paige’s family and best friend were fairly private people, so this was a little unusual. “What have you told them?”

“Just that I was possibly seeing someone, going on a few dates. Didn’t know where it was gonna go. Lying, basically. I did say it was someone I worked with, so at least that part was true.” His chest vibrated with silent laughter. “I tell my mom a lot. Well, what I can tell her based on all the NDAs I signed. I’ve always told her all about anyone I’m interested in, about my coworkers, my friends, all that jazz. Talked a lot about all of you. But, I’ve had to be really selective in what I say now. And I can just see that the fact I’m not being as open as I used to be worries her. Job secrecy aside, I mean. So if we decide to go and spend the weekend there, and I show up with a fucking Avenger and introduce him as my boyfriend, I can only imagine how much they're gonna freak out."

Bucky tilted his head to the side. “Like, good or bad freak out? This is  _ me _ we’re talking about. I wouldn't be surprised with either way.”

She sighed. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I want to tell them, though.” She repositioned herself so that they could look at each other. “I think we’ve figured this out.” She motioned between them. “And it’s really good. It’s easy. I mean, we don’t have to be like the next celebrity ‘it’ couple, because, well, ugh,  _ god _ no. But... I think the other people we love should know. Besides, it’s getting very hard to keep up the charade.” Tony and T’Challa aside, it had to be obvious to several of the people they worked with. Not all of them were complete idiots, and sometimes subtlety eluded Paige when she was around Bucky. But it was still something they needed to outright say.

Images from the Fourth of July party and the time one of the nurses in the MedBay flirted shamelessly with him when he couldn’t easily escape flashed before his eyes. They definitely needed to do  _ something _ soon. Even if the thought of Sam and Steve’s smug as hell faces made him want to go AWOL again. “I think so too. If you're ready.”

She tucked her lips behind her teeth for a moment while she searched his face. “I think I am. I think I actually have been for a while, just putting it off.”

“Then what do you want to do about your family?”

“I mean, I've already met your family, so I guess it’s only fair you meet mine. If you want to, that is. And if you want to do it this way. It’s like two weeks away, so if I go ahead and say yes now, if you don't want to when it comes time, we can always make up some excuse and you can stay here. They’d understand. I mean, I’m still gonna go at least.”

She was babbling again, but he didn’t stop her. It let him gather his own thoughts. He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted to do honestly. Both options were enticing in their own way. And it was nice that she was giving him options. She always tried to, and he greatly appreciated it, since he hadn't had a lot of those in the last 70 years… 

It was true that he could always say yes now, then just back out if he felt overwhelmed. But what would that say about him to her family? Yeah, he had an important job, but unless something actually did come up, it might send the wrong message if he suddenly skipped out. And he was not going to look like he wasn’t in this for the long haul. 

He groaned and pulled her closer, burying his head in her neck. “Give them a call first. I don’t want to give your parents a heart attack in their own home.”

Paige let out a deep breath, stroking his hair. “Good point. As much as I don’t want any adverse reactions, it would be retroactively funny to watch them have a conniption. Particularly my brother.”

Bucky snorted. “Another good reason to not do that: I don’t want to get shot on sight by your dad.”

“So just because they’re from the South, you think my dad carries around a gun? ... I mean, he does, but that’s besides the point.”

Bucky laughed and angled his head so that he could kiss her jaw. “Wasn’t the point I was trying to make. But still. Now I’m prepared. Sorta.”

“ _ Anyway _ , I'll call them in the morning.”

“Morning?” he asked skeptically.

“Figure of speech.”

* * *

As per usual, Bucky was up before Paige. It was a little later than he normally woke up, though, even for a Sunday. He wasn’t mad about it. Sometime in the night, Paige had made herself the big spoon. Which was unusual, considering she usually opted to sprawl out on her side of the bed. But he wasn’t complaining about that either. He relished in how safe and secure he felt with her there, but they also needed to get their day started. She’d have to leave later, and he wanted to spend their remaining time not just sleeping the day away. However, with their current position, it was a little more challenging for him to wake her up the way he wanted: quick kisses all over her face. This needed to be rectified. 

“Paige?” 

Whether or not she  _ heard _ his whisper wasn’t the point. It was more likely than not she wouldn’t; she was such a heavy sleeper. Her face was pressed into his shoulder blades, so there was no way she didn’t at least  _ feel _ him talk. 

She didn’t make any audible noise, but her breathing did change slightly. Obviously she was going to pretend to still be asleep. Typical.

“Wake up, sweetheart.” When he tugged at the arm draped over his middle, she withdrew it and tucked it into her chest, out of his reach.

She drew a deep breath and buried herself deeper into his back. “Dun wanna.” Words weren’t coming easy in her hazy state.

He let out a groggy laugh and very slowly rolled over to face her, Paige groaning unhappily at having to move. He held her in place so she couldn’t wiggle away while he continually pecked her face with kisses. She giggled, and eventually he stopped once he was convinced she was awake enough. “Morning, my sunflower.”

“Mornin’, Marshmallow Man.”

Her laughter almost drowned out the deep, dramatic groan he gave in response while climbing out of bed. She knew it was sort of mean to call him that, considering that he was using one of her favorite pet names. But it was right there and she wasn’t ready to let it go yet. Besides, going back to sleep sounded  _ so _ nice. 

Ignoring the noise he made in the bathroom while getting ready wasn’t easy; he was deliberately being loud and closing cabinets as punishment.

“You are awful,” he said a while later, toothbrush sticking out of his mouth while he glared.

She poked her head up to cast him a disbelieving look. “That’s not what you said last night.”

“I did tell you you’re terrible at hero names, though.” He leaned back into the bathroom to spit. “And I still mean that.”

“Mhm. Okay.”

_ Stubborn woman.  _

It was obvious she wasn’t going to get up just yet, so he caved and crawled back into bed a few moments later. “I had a dream about you last night.”

She cracked her eyes open and blinked slowly at him. “Hmmm? Good or bad?”

“Weird.”

She grinned. “I’ve got a weird one too about you.”

“I don’t doubt that. Your dreams are all weird.”

“They are. What was yours?”

He ran his fingers up and down her exposed arm while he talked, loving the way her eyes fluttered contentedly. “I was… I looked like the hundred year old man I am. You looked the same, though. Had some sort of reality warping powers, too. I think? I dunno, it’s kinda fuzzy. But you did go through a wormhole to get me a nicer wheelchair. That’s all I remember.”

“That is weird. Also I’m pretty sure I’ll need a wheelchair long before you do.”

He raised his eyebrows, not really sure which way she meant that. She did like “that’s what she said” jokes, after all. 

“Bucky, oh my god. Because you’re a super soldier. Jesus Christ.”

But not when they were made at her expense. 

“I didn’t say anything!” He pulled her back to him, laughing, when she tried to roll away.

“You didn’t need to. Ugh, I’m never complimenting you about being good at anything again.”

“That won’t last long. You’re too nice. What was your dream about?”

His attempt at rerouting the conversation was pitiful, but she went along with it anyway. “Well, we were both detectives in what looked like old, old New York. Like from before you were born? That’s the best way to describe it. We were dressed weird too. Anyway, we went to this murder scene and, I’m not kidding, the body was a peeled furby.” It was much more difficult to finish the story while laughing, so she tried to keep it short. “So the rest of the dream was us trying to find the killer, and getting clues from some vending machine? I really don’t know.”

“What the hell’s a furby?”

Well, she was wide awake now. She sat up on her elbow and gave him a funny look. “Are you…?” The genuine confusion on his face was answer enough. “You’ve been back in the 21st century for several years now. Shuri, a certified Gen Z kid, caught you up on a lot of pop culture stuff, and she never explained furbys to you?!  _ Peter _ has never mentioned them before?!”

“I’m thinking they should have, judging by your reaction.”

“I’m texting both of them right now. This is unacceptable.”

The furbys themselves weren’t really as harrowing Paige had made them seem. The stories about them waking up without any batteries were, though. Also, calling them  _ peeled _ furbys when the outer fur had been removed was even worse. He wasn’t going to be surprised if he ended up having nightmares about them. Though it would be quite a change from his usual ones. 

She sighed and tossed her phone back onto the nightstand. “I’m guess I’ll get up now. I’m getting hungry anyway.”

“ _ Finally _ ,” Bucky teased.

She smacked his arm and scooted out of bed. He watched her go into the bathroom, dopey smirk plastered on his face. Once she’d disappeared from view, he reached for his own phone. He’d heard it vibrate a while ago. Hopefully it wasn’t important.

Four texts from Steve. Apparently Sam requested the day off from running (probably hungover, if Bucky had to guess), but when Steve got no reply from Bucky on the matter, he set off on his run alone. 

Oops. 

“ _ Bucky! _ ”

She sounded appalled. 

“You’re really gonna make me wear collared shirts to work? In August?”

“What?” He was really confused now.

She walked out of the bathroom, pouting, and pulled her (his) shirt collar to the sides to reveal exactly why she was upset. 

Several hickeys littered her collarbone and the base of her neck. 

_ Oops.  _

Well, sort of. 

He laughed, which didn’t make her any happier. The one at her sensitive spot was glaringly obvious, too, so it was really shocking he hadn’t noticed it sooner. And he knew exactly why that particular one was so blatant. She’d tipped her head back a little too hard and popped her neck, which had startled Bucky something awful, and he accidentally bit down a little too hard. Turns out it was a good pop, and it’d caused another of their numerous laughing fits. 

Not that he had to worry about it on his own neck, accelerated healing and all, but he’d been careful all the times before when kissing her neck so as  _ not _ to leave any obvious marks, as much as he might have wanted to. Last night, it seems that they’d both just… forgot. 

“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m really not.”

She huffed and crossed her arms. Her cheeks had much more color than normal. Adorable. “I’m not sorry either but… this sucks. I’m gonna be burning up all day. This is too high that I can’t even wear a tee shirt.”

“You could, like, stick bandaids over them. Say you were holding a cat and it got scared?”

“That… that’s not gonna fly.”

A shrug. “Just say you made out with someone over the weekend. It’s not lying.”

“Also wouldn’t work. Besides the fact that we’ve both had multiple people pushing us to get together, everyone  _ knows _ me. I haven’t been on a date since 2014. Then suddenly I’m making out with some random person and they’re leaving hickeys all over me?”

“... All over?”

She opened her mouth briefly before slowly closing it again, looking much like a goldfish. “No.” It was both a reply and a command. “You go… do something. I’m gonna go shower and continue putting off calling my parents.”

“Yes ma’am.”

_ Something _ ended up being making lunch. And, more importantly, cookies. He’d rather have been taking a shower, too, but she left no room for arguing. 

“So was Steve worried about you missing your run again?” she asked through a mouthful of food. 

The spoon hovered midair as Bucky winced. “Well, not really? Sam backed out apparently and I didn’t hear my phone go off in time. So Steve sent a passive-aggressive text, and when I didn’t reply, he just said he’s going by himself.”

“So he was angry and not worried?”

“More or less. I’m still gonna get an earful tomorrow for making him worry. Again. You know how he is.” The spoon finally went in his mouth. He’d rather not think too much about how flat his excuse was going to fall. Steve was too insightful and he was going to figure it out soon. Hell, it was a miracle he hadn’t knocked on Bucky’s door asking to go do something while Paige was there. However, their relationship might not be a secret for too much longer. Which reminded him… “You keep acting like you’re gonna get an earful, too.”

“From Steve? You know, probably once we actually tell him, yeah. But he’ll still be mad at you more than me.”

“Your parents.”

“Yeah, I know,” she groaned. She started bouncing her leg up and down. She was halfway in Bucky’s lap, so the movement caused him to start shaking, too. A hand came down on her thigh to still her. 

“You’ll be fine. You’re an adult and you’re able to make your own decisions.”

“Duh. I’m just worried they’ll be worried because I was hiding something that significant from them, you know? Like the reasoning behind it was bad...” 

He nodded and swallowed his food. “I know. You have good reasons to hide it, too. And not because I’ve been mistreating you or anything horrible like that.” The thought twisted his gut painfully, and he suddenly wasn’t all that hungry. “Even if I was Steve—actually, that might be worse. At least in regards to the Internet.”

“It’s pretty bad. But you act like you don’t have your own horde of crazy fans, Sergeant Barnes.”

“Which is why I stay off social media.”

She laughed, “Yeah, fair. I will admit I used to be a weird fan about stuff, but not nearly as bad as some people are. I was a teenager, after all. So when I got  _ this _ job, I had F.R.I.D.A.Y. basically encrypt all of that silly stuff I used to post.”

“Like what?” Now he was intrigued. She’d never brought this up before.

“Like pictures that I’d edited of my celeb crushes that had a caption like ‘there go my ovaries’ or something like that. Silly stupid stuff that I do not need being brought up when people inevitably go digging.”

Bucky was howling. “‘There go my ovaries’?”

“Look, it-it was a dark time for me and that was common Internet speak and I  _ do not _ need you shaming me right now.” She was beet red. Why did she pick that example?

Bucky set down his plate and pulled her fully into his lap, nuzzling her neck. “I’m not shaming you. I’ve just never heard that before.”

She could tell he was going to say something else, but she cut in. “If you say something sly about the ovaries thing I’m going to gut punch you. I’m already embarrassed enough that I actually regularly spoke like that.”

“I was going to keep that to myself, actually, but if you’d like to hear it…?”

“I absolutely would not, thanks.”

Eventually, he let her go and they cleaned up the kitchen in near silence. He’d snicker every now and then, which was always met by either a light kick to the back of his knee or an elbow to the ribs. He sobered up when they were done and essentially forced her to finally make the call. It was close enough to when she’d normally call them, so she basically had no choice.

Her leg was bouncing again against the edge of the couch, curled up in her blanket, while she waited patiently for her father to pick up. She’d pulled out her laptop and was FaceTiming them, so Bucky stood off to the side. It was best he wasn’t one of the first things they saw. He angled himself so that he could still see the screen, though.

“What’s up?” her father, Joe, greeted cheerfully.

“Just the price of gas.” Paige sounded cheerful enough back, but she was playing with her hands nervously.

Joe chuckled at their inside joke. “How’re you doing?”

“Hey, sweetie!” Michelle interrupted, head popping into frame.

Huh. They lived in South Carolina, but Bucky couldn’t hear much of an accent in any of their voices at all. Made sense, since Paige didn’t really have one, either. And not for the first time, he noted how much like her mother Paige looked. 

“Hi, mommy! I’m great, thanks. What’s up with you guys?”

Michelle shrugged. “You know, the usual.”

“So, nothing interesting,” Joe finished. 

“Sounds like a perfect Sunday to me.” Paige offered them a small smile and resisted stealing a glance at Bucky. “Uh, is Caleb there?”

“Yeah, he’s fixing his lunch, hang on.” Michelle disappeared off screen for a moment only to reappear a moment later, followed by another face standing behind her parents. 

“Hey, dude,” Paige waved at her brother.

“How are you?” Caleb greeted back. Bucky raised a brow. His voice was much deeper than he thought it would be. And he looked even older than the pictures she’d shown of him. Was he really five years younger than Paige? “How was the thing last night?”

Paige bit her cheek and nodded. “I’m good! And it was great. I, uh, I need to tell you guys something, though. It’s about me coming to visit.”

Concern and disappointment were suddenly on everyone’s face. “What, are you having to cancel on us?” her father asked.

“No, no,” she assured, shaking her head. “It’s… Uh, well, I’m gonna bring someone with me, actually. If that’s okay with y’all.” The very little accent she had grew along with her nervousness. 

They seemed to know immediately this wasn’t just a friend she’d be bringing. “Really? Who?”

Paige popped her knuckles, and Bucky saw her mom grimace. “So remember how I told you I’d been on a few dates with someone?”

“Yeah…” her mom nodded hesitantly. “Thought you didn’t think too much of it.”

A deep breath. “Yeah, that was a total lie. I mean, it’s still someone I work with, technically, but… We’re actually like… In a legit relationship?”

“That’s wonderful!”

“You are?”

“Who is it?”

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

“Is that why your apartment looks different?”

All three were talking over each other, so Bucky wasn’t really sure who was saying what.

Paige held her hand up. “Well… Firstly, it’s a little complicated because of exactly who it is, so we’ve had to kind of be quiet about it and just keep it between ourselves. It’s not like taboo or anything like that, and I’m like totally happy and healthy and  _ fine _ , it’s just... It might be a little faster if…” She trailed off and looked at Bucky. That was the signal.

He slid into the seat next to her and was met with several wide eyed stares. He gave a small wave and a friendly, “Hello.”

Her brother was the first to speak. “The White Wolf?” he asked excitedly.

“So, you’re dating Bucky Barnes?” Joe sounded as astonished as he looked. 

“Nice to meet you,” Michelle greeted pleasantly. 

“Yes to both, and good on you mom for being polite,” Paige muttered. “We’ve been friends for a while, y’all know that. But then it just kind of… happened. We had a talk and we’ve been together for almost 3 months now. I’m so sorry for not telling you sooner, but we were still trying to figure it out between ourselves, and the Internet is a thing and you know I have to look at that all day. And I was just afraid that somehow it would get out before we were ready, so I didn’t tell  _ anyone _ , and… yeah.”

Bucky wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze while she talked. “I know it’s disappointing I’m not Steve Rogers, sorry.” He gave her family a playful smirk and was rewarded with their chuckles. 

“Well, you are pretty awesome, so,” Caleb piped up. 

Bucky and Paige laughed. He started blushing. Genuinely positive attention still did that. “Thank you. But, the awesome one out of this is Paige.” 

Paige leaned into him. “I mean, I am pretty great. But don’t sell yourself short, Buck. But, uh, are you guys okay if I bring him with me?”

Joe and Michelle looked at each other. Bucky couldn’t see any real objection on their faces, but the footage was a bit grainy, so he wasn’t totally positive. He’d be fine if they didn’t want basically a celebrity at their modest home, really. And staying at the compound was much easier than making excuses for being out of town without looking suspicious. So either option worked for him.

Surprisingly, they both just shrugged.

“Yeah, that’s fine with us. Give us a chance to meet in person and everything,” Joe decided. “So do you want us to keep quiet about this, or what?”

It was Bucky and Paige’s turn to look at each other. Paige squinted at his  _ it’s your call _ expression before turning back to her parents. “Yeah. I think so. We haven’t even told the team, and I think we’re gonna wait until after he meets y’all to do that.”

“And I’ll stay in a hotel, so you won’t have to try and make any extra space for me,” Bucky added quickly.

Michelle waved him off. “You can stay with us if you want. Or Paige can stay with you at the hotel. We’re all adults here.”

That made both Bucky and Paige blush. Joe didn’t look super comfortable either. “We can figure that out later,” Paige said. “And again, I’m so sorry—“

“It’s your life, sweetie. You don’t have to tell us everything,” her mother reassured her. “But I would like to ask Bucky a few questions, if that’s okay with you?”

“I’ve got some too,” Joe added.

Bucky happily fielded questions from her family for a few minutes. Mostly, they wanted to know what he liked to do in his free time when he wasn’t on missions. Preferences for food, comfort level with cats, little things like that. They didn’t seem all that nervous about him, and he guessed it had to do with the fact that Paige had apparently talked about him a lot beforehand. Eventually, Bucky excused himself so that Paige could properly catch up with her family. 

They had the rest of the day to hang out before Paige had to go back to her place for the week. Hopefully soon though, he wouldn’t have to worry about his apartment feeling empty after she was gone. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha's very observant, but has thus far kept her nose out of things, mainly because she's been busy. But now...

**Monday, Mid-August**

“What’s with the outfit today?”

Natasha always arrived early. Punctuality was one of her defining traits. As was a keen eye. 

Paige didn’t look up from her computer. “Forgot to do laundry this weekend. This was the only clean work shirt I had.”

That sounded too rehearsed. “Really?”

“Yeah. I just got busy and forgot. Isn’t the first time and won’t be the last. Adulting is hard sometimes.” She tried to subtly shrink her head into her shirt, but Natasha caught it.

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that both you and Barnes left the party early, would it?” She’d seen them do that before, and she knew they hung out on the weekends. But something about this last party was different. Something had been different altogether between them lately. 

Paige looked up at that, and suddenly there was this distinct glow in her eyes that mixed with another too-practiced calmness. Interesting. 

“No. He gave me a ride home. Told him he didn’t have to, but he said he was looking for any excuse to leave, the poor guy, so I let him.” It was always her excuse when people asked, and it was always true. Bucky didn’t like staying longer than necessary, so she was always willing to give him an out. 

She could really stand to go through some lessons in lying. “Well, I did catch him staring at you a lot that night. You sure he didn’t try anything when he dropped you off this time?”

There was the beginnings of nervous laughter when Paige replied, “No, Nat. We’re friends. Do I need to ask you that every time you and Clint disappear at the same time?”

Natasha pursed her lips. Even though it was obvious there was something between her and Bucky, unlike herself and Clint, she had a point. “Fine, you’re right. But I’m serious about the staring thing.”

“My dress was pretty bright.”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

A dramatic rolling of eyes, followed by, “I know, Nat. I’m not stupid.”

“And I’m not, either. You were staring right back.” Natasha crossed her arms and dared her to argue.

Paige shrunk into herself again. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re too observant? she huffed. “Can you blame me, though? Every single one of you look like a freaking Greek God or Goddess or whatever at all of these events. And like normally just walking around here. So I can’t help it if I stare sometimes.”

It was charming, how she was trying to pass this off as simply thinking her friends are attractive. But Natasha knew something had happened between them. Maybe they’d just made out and he’d left a few marks on her. Hence the completely buttoned up polo, which was totally unusual for her. She didn’t wear revealing outfits or anything, but she never covered up _this_ much. Especially when it was still blazing hot outside. Even a plain tee shirt would have looked less suspicious. Then there was the matter of how much she was trying to be too casual. Had something _more_ happened? Had it ended badly? She didn’t seem upset… Either way, Natasha was going to try and corner Barnes later and see if he was acting any weirder than normal. It might be a breach of trust, but maybe she could enlist Wanda’s help, just a teeny bit—

“Can we drop that and get started on this thing?”

Paige’s plea cut off Natasha’s train of thought. She was gesturing at the TV screen on the wall where several tweets had been pulled up. “Yeah, yeah, all right. What strikes you as odd about these?”

* * *

Natasha was going to wait, but Bucky was in the gym already and immediately requested to spar with her. So now was as good a time as ever.

“Why are you so eager this morning, Barnes?” She gave him a once-over. No hickeys to speak of, but it was likely he’d never show them, even in his athletic tank. Only very serious bruises ever lasted more than a day, and that had only happened twice in the time he’d been back on missions. 

He gave a nonchalant shrug. “Pent up energy. Nobody else is here, so why not?”

She raised an eyebrow but said nothing. 

They set up on the mat and started sparring a little slower than Nat thought they would. That didn’t last long, though, as she intentionally started hitting him harder. He had no choice but to retaliate.

Her fist nearly collided with his head. “So Saturday night…”

A deft dodge; he grabbed her arm and, using her momentum, pushed her so that she spun around. “What about it?”

A block of her hard reverse roundhouse. “You have fun?”

He was frowning harder now, and it wasn’t because she’d managed to punch him in the side. “Umf—As much as I can at those things. You know me and crowds.”

He managed to punch her in the side a split second later, but it wasn’t as hard as she’d hit him. “Gonna have to hit harder than that, Barnes.”

“Careful what you wish for, Romanoff.” His metal hand caught the knee she’d aimed at his abdomen, pushing her back and off balance.

“Saw you leaving with Paige again.” Once she’d regained her balance, she came at him again with her elbow, which he caught, only for his knee to be taken out by her foot. “She likes you, you know.” 

He responded by pulling her ankle out from under her. “Are we really doing this right now?” he asked incredulously, concentration not breaking.

A quick pivot, followed by a well-aimed kick that didn’t quite connect. “And I can see you like her.” 

“We are really doing this right now.” And he didn’t sound happy about it. He took a step backwards for a split second break. “You and Sam really need to stop.”

Oh, so Sam was in on this too. “Why? We just want our friends to be happy. And as smart as you both are, I think you’re both lacking in the romance department.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, hard, throwing his head back for added effect. Which made his reaction time almost too slow to dodge Nat’s right hook aimed at his chest. “ _Romanoff._ ”

“What, can’t spar and talk at the same time? Some Avenger you are.”

“No, that’s—” He cut himself off, too busy side stepping and blocking her flurry of attacks. She was coming at him aggressively now, figuring she’d be able to get him worked up enough that he’d confess. To what, she still didn’t know for sure, though she had her suspicions. But she was determined to get something out of him.

A quick push kick knocked him back a few steps. Normally, she wouldn’t be able to get the upper hand on him _this_ much. Good thing he was distracted. She took the opportunity to keep verbally pressing him. “Better do something fast. Think someone else’s making a move on her.”

He swept his foot, albeit a little clumsily, and managed to throw her off balance briefly. “What d’ya mean?”

It was a genuinely confused expression on his face, so at least he wasn’t trying to play coy anymore. “She’s covering up an awful lot today. Think she’s trying to hide some love bites or something.” 

A frown, followed by another eye roll. “She give you an answer?”

She took a quick step forward and tried for an elbow to his face, which was blocked. “No, but she’s fairly private about that stuff anyway. And I’m nosy. Was it you?”

Ah, there it was. Prime opening. He’d furrowed his brows in a funny way and ducked low to avoid her punch. So she didn’t hesitate. A shoulder grab, one leg lifted, then another. She jerked her body backwards and they both fell onto the mat with a loud _thump_ , his head caught in her signature leg hold. There was an irritated huff followed by a few pats to her leg, asking to be let go. Natasha then noticed just how beet red he was, and she didn’t think it was because she’d gotten the better of him. His ego wasn’t _that_ big. Besides, if he really wanted to, he could have simply flung her off.

“Barnes?” she asked, releasing her hold.

He stopped chewing his cheek and finally met her gaze once he’d stood up to his full height. “What?” A split second later, he politely reached down to help her back up. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

He shrugged and wiped the very little sweat off his brow. “Nothing, really.” The look on Nat’s face caused him to reconsider lying. “Just got lost in some memories.”

Another arched brow. “Old or new?”

Oh. This was getting good. He was blushing even more now. “Fairly new. Let’s take a quick break, yeah?” He moved to grab his water bottle.

“What, you been thinking naughty thoughts? ‘Bout our mutual friend?”

“ _Natasha!_ ” He spit out his water as he glowered at her. “I swear to god I’m gonna kill you and Sam and not shed a single fucking tear. You guys are horrible.”

All she did was laugh and wave him off.

“Do you have any decency?”

She shrugged. “No shame in it. Everyone’s got ‘em.”

“I think we’re done here.” He made a move to leave the gym, but stopped briefly when Nat continued.

“You need my help with her? If you don’t move fast, you might lose your chance.”

“Don’t need your help with anything.” He spread his arms out and looked a little too happy about that. 

_Something definitely happened._

“Leaving so soon? What, tired of getting your ass kicked?” she called as he pivoted towards the locker room. 

“Tired of listening to you sticking your nose in my business.”

“Better get used to it. I am the number one spy in the world.”

“If you say so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're all caught up! I mean, kinda. I have the next chapter and most of the next ones written, but they need some editing. So I wouldn't expect the next chapter up until maybe after New Years.   
> If you're reading this before then, Happy Holidays!!! If it's after, well, I hope you have a great rest of your week!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky & Paige get a visitor with an interesting proposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!!!! I hope everyone's holiday season was wonderful!

**Late August, One Week Later**

“I’m very sorry to interrupt you two but...”

A startled gasp, and their lips were disconnected, much to Bucky’s dismay.

“What?!” He and Paige were in the middle of a very nice make-out session before F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s disembodied voice so rudely interrupted. “This had better be important,” he grumbled.

“Unfortunately, it is. You have a visitor.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Well, tell whoever it is that I have much more important business to attend to than whatever they want.” He grinned and pulled Paige even closer to him. She giggled as their lips pressed back together.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. didn’t exactly sound happy. “Sergeant Barnes, it’s Secretary Ross.”

They paused again briefly enough for Bucky to order, “Make him go away. Pretend I’m not here. Do _something_.”

“He knows you’re here.”

That was not good news. Paige gasped again and pulled away even further. Bucky saw the same wide-eyed, panicked expression on her face that he was sure he was wearing himself. “Does he know I—”

“No, Miss Halcomb,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. assured. “He only knows Sergeant Barnes is home, and only because that was out of my immediate control.”

Paige breathed a sigh of relief. Bucky’s thumbs caressed her cheeks, saying, “Good. Just tell him he can catch me after training tomorrow. He’s the last person I wanna see right now. Or ever. But especially right now.”

For a few blissful moments, the only noises in the room were Paige’s giggles when Bucky’s lips found a particularly ticklish spot on her throat. Then...

“Sir, I’m afraid he’s insisting it’s urgent. He won’t leave.”

Bucky suppressed a growl of sheer frustration as he buried his face in the crook of Paige’s neck. “Fuck. God. Okay. Just… Gimme a minute. Or five.”

Paige’s sigh resembled how Bucky felt. “Buck, you better go get it over with. That way he’s gone faster. And...” She let her fingers dance lightly over his metal arm, “we can get back to our very nice afternoon.”

He grinned and showered her face with quick, light kisses. “I’m so sorry about this interruption, baby. Just, stay here and I’ll be back soon. I promise. Gotta take out the trash, apparently.”

She kissed his nose and slid off his lap. Heaving a rueful sigh at the sudden emptiness, he stood up and pulled his shirt back down over his abdomen, all without taking his eyes off her. He knew the intense eye contact never failed to make her blush. Right now was no exception. She looked like a mess, and he loved it. Her hair was mussed up from where he’d been running his hands through it. She’d also done the same thing to him before she’d snuck her fingers under his shirt. He’d been too distracted to pull it completely off, but that didn’t matter now. It’d wind up on the floor after he’d got rid of the unwanted guests, anyway. The rest of their clothes would probably follow suit, too.

One more quick kiss, then he shut the door behind him. But not before fixing his hair so that he didn’t look like a total wreck.

She’d taken the day off spontaneously after sneaking into the apartment the night before, citing that she simply didn’t feel like going in and she had a few vacation days to burn, but she’d answer the phone and deal with anything immediate F.R.I.D.A.Y. brought to her attention. However, she was not leaving Bucky’s apartment. That was perfectly fine with him. It was Wednesday, which meant that as soon as he and Sam were done with their session, he could come home and nobody would suspect anything. 

It’d been a really good day all around, which is why Bucky was more agitated than usual when he laid eyes on Secretary Ross.

The man never failed to piss Bucky off. And here he was, with the gall to come to _his_ apartment, interrupting his very good day, with what Bucky doubted was actually urgent news. 

Why the fuck hadn’t he just called? Bucky wouldn’t have actually picked up, but that was beside the point.

“Good afternoon, Sergeant Barnes,” Ross greeted once he’d been allowed inside, voice robotically professional as usual. 

“Secretary Ross,” Bucky replied curtly, making no attempt to hide his irritation. He crossed his arms and eyed Ross’ assistants from where he stood in the living room. They would have fooled most others, but Bucky was no idiot. The “assistants” were his guards, each secretly armed enough to at least slow Bucky down. “What do you want?”

Ross stopped briefly in his examination of the apartment. “I guess we can dispense with the formalities. Why weren’t you at the meeting I called today?”

Bucky raised his eyebrows. “I wasn’t told there was one.” It must not have been labeled mandatory enough for F.R.I.D.A.Y. to warrant disturbing him beforehand. 

It was Ross’ turn to look surprised. “This AI,” he waved his hand in the air, “should have told all of the Avengers.” He sounded like he still didn’t consider Bucky a true Avenger. Bucky didn’t give a shit what he thought or what he wanted; Ross had lost that battle over his official status a long time ago.

“Well, I must have missed the message.” 

Ross was in the kitchen now. Bucky grew more tense the closer he got to the bedroom door. “Shame. You missed a very important one this time.” He looked thoughtful for a moment before adding, “Miss Halcomb missed the meeting too. Very unlike her. You two are friends. She tell you anything?”

Bucky stole another glance at the guards. “Yeah. She texted me and said she didn’t feel good today. We were supposed to go over something, but I guess I have that to look forward to tomorrow.” It was noncommittal enough. 

“I guess I’ll just schedule a meeting with her tomorrow.”

_What does he expect me to say?_

“I had something I specifically wanted to ask you.”

Trying to keep his expression neutral, Bucky turned more toward Ross. Ultimately, it was futile, as he visibly bristled when Ross stopped in front of his room and pondered the closed door. “What?” Bucky couldn’t keep the sharp edge out of his voice. Even if Paige hadn’t been in there, that was still his bedroom. His _personal space_. And Ross sure as shit wasn’t ever going to be allowed in there. 

Ross’s head tilted curiously and reached for the doorknob, explaining, “We’ve been discussing—”

Ross wouldn’t have been able to open the door anyhow. F.R.I.D.A.Y. already locked it, and Paige had been listening in and clamped her hand over the knob in case someone attempted to open it. But Bucky didn’t know any of this, so in a split second, he crossed the room and knocked away Ross’ hand, planting himself firmly and menacingly in front of the door. “That’s my room, thank you.” A low, dark warning through gritted teeth. 

The Secretary of State was stunned (and terrified, Bucky gleefully noticed), but only momentarily. He took a step backwards, away from the dangerous fire in Bucky’s eyes. “Fine.” He held his hands up, both for Bucky’s benefit and for his guards, who lowered their weapons hesitantly. “You are entitled to your privacy.”

“Get on with your point,” Bucky spat.

Ross had regained his composure. “An agreement has been reached between the governments of Earth and the Guardians, and any other planets those… ruffians have an alliance with. We’ll be building a base that's going into orbit next year. There have been some discussions, and many people have decided that you’d be a good candidate to lead troops up there. You don’t go out on many of our assignments anyway, so we’re not losing much down here. It’s time Earth had a planetary defense force. Everyone else in the galaxy seems to have one.”

An Avengers base. In space. _Space_. Holy shit?

Bucky’s shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. He was still pissed as hell, but he couldn’t deny that he was intrigued. This was big news, which caused an ever so slight twinge of guilt for missing the meeting. It went away entirely as the expression on Ross’ face became clear. Though he likely hadn’t recommended him for this position personally, Ross couldn’t deny that having Bucky off planet benefited him greatly.

Being that far away from this prick sounded really nice on the surface. However...

“I appreciate the offer, but I think I’m good here.”

If Ross was surprised, he didn’t show it. Only an incline of the head, followed by, “Don’t rush into a decision. Think it over. And maybe think about looking at the details I left with Stark’s AI.”

“I’ll think about it.” _Just go the fuck away so I can think about more than just wringing your neck or breaking your arm._

Ross nodded, and a few moments later, all three intruders were gone.

Bucky released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He waited a few beats, willing himself to physically relax, before turning the knob and going back into the room. Paige’s expression wasn’t exactly what he’d expected; she was _excited_. And rambling. And pacing around the room as she scrolled through something on her phone. 

“I heard everything. I can’t believe I missed the notification! We’re building a space station? Like, holy shit, Bucky! Why’d you turn it down? That’s an incredible opportunity! I mean, I know why because he was intruding in your home uninvited but still! This is an excellent idea, oh my god.”

Well, obviously she wasn’t as upset by the prospect of Bucky being gone as he thought she’d be. “You’re… You’d be okay with that?”

 _Ah_. That made her brain slow down a bit. She stopped pacing and looked up at him. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Before Bucky could answer, she registered what he meant and began moving again. “Oh! It’s not like we don’t know that warp speed travel is a reality for everyone except us primitive earthlings. We could talk the Guardians or Carol or even Thor into getting us a ship to get back and forth. Or designing one here on Earth. I think Tony will shit his pants if he gets to build a working spaceship. Like, one that would get you to the station in a matter of like... a normal daily commute, you know? It could probably be like just living in one state with your family but working in another. There’s still weekends! Which is like normal for us now, so.”

“Hey, hey, slow down! You’re going just a bit too fast,” Bucky laughed. He thought about pulling her in for a hug, but she was gesturing wildly, and he really didn’t want to get accidentally smacked in the face. “I thought I was the space nerd.”

“Sorry, sorry!” She took a deep breath and continued. “Okay, so, I think we need to really go over all of this and you need to talk to everyone. I don’t think you should brush this off just because Ross is the one who presented it. And I need to make sure this doesn’t get out before the press conference. Ugh, fuck. Tomorrow’s gonna be one bitch of a day.” At least she’d stopped pacing. 

“Yeah, I think it is.”

“But, that’s a problem for tomorrow.” 

Somehow he’d missed her mutter, too lost in his own thoughts. “And because apparently so many people recommended me for this, I’m gonna have a lot of people on my ass about missing this meeting.”

A distracted silence settled between them for a few seconds before she began wrapping her arms around his middle. “I don’t blame them though. It is a really nice ass. I should know.” She squeezed it pointedly, which caused a half-gasp, half-laugh from Bucky, again too lost in thought to really notice what she was doing. 

Bucky knew she wanted to get back to their afternoon festivities. He did, too. But he couldn’t shake a certain thought. “What if… they didn’t allow me weekends? If they made me stay up there for months at a time?”

She lifted her chin and rested it on his chest. “Then… I’d miss you. A fuck ton. But I don’t want you to say no just because of me. That’s selfish. Also not a sign of a healthy relationship. I want you to do this because _you_ want to. Besides, I can do long distance relationships.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” he asked softly, taking her chin between his thumb and index finger. 

Her eyes were so full of love that Bucky thought he was going to implode. “That’s… the fact that you’re thinking like that… Bucky, anyone who doesn’t want you to think for yourself and make the choices you want isn’t worth another second of your time.”

“I know, I know,” he muttered. “This is just… a lot to take in right now.”

“It is. But, again, don’t let me stand in the way of doing what you think is right and what _you_ want to do.”

“Well, there’s still a lot of questions I have. So we should do more research before I make any final decisions.”

“True, true. But after we make out, maybe?”

“Glad we’re on the same page.” He lifted her into the air so that he wouldn’t have to bend to kiss her. A moment after they’d locked lips, he realized exactly what he said and started laughing. 

“What?”

“On the same page… Paige? Get it?”

The way she said his name that time was nothing short of disdainful. 


End file.
